Is this a normal feeling in a relationship? Comfortable early on...

[Ooga]

Hi everyone,

There are a few things that have been on my mind lately regarding my relationship that I would like some advice on (this post might be long!).

Some background info about me:

I'm an introvert. I often get tired of people and feel drained after socializing for a while so I need to withdraw and be alone. However, usually it's not this extreme with boyfriends. Right now I'm in a relationship with the most amazing man, who I think is my soulmate. I've had a couple of relationships in the past and they were just unfair. I was always the one giving and my exes just didn't reciprocate or used me for their own advantages. I have been lied to and cheated/betrayed often too (not just by exes but also by closest friends) to the point that I just can't trust people. My bf is amazing because he does everything to make me happy and he is literally the guy I dreamed of. It's so surreal and i am blissful. I am already trusting him and learning to trust him even more with time. He is so caring. I love him a lot and I would love to marry him someday.

My problem is: I feel like our relationship isn't as "intense". In the past, my ex would be cold to me and I would just crave him. Now that I have such a near-perfect man, I feel comfortable and there isn't as much of a thrill or spark. We do have amazing chemistry and he is great at pleasing me, but sometimes I find myself not feeling horny and I just want to cuddle with him or hold him instead. Is this odd? Considering we've only been dating for a few months so I don't think it's that "comfortable" stage of the relationship.

I guess there is, perhaps, not enough "drama" in our relationship. I would like to settle down with him eventually and stay together, but I am worried that this level of comfort is a precursor to a loss of attraction or a sign that this relationship is not going to be right. I am just so worried and anxious about this aspect. I love him so much and this is the first time that I have been able to experience true love that is reciprocated. I guess I just need some advice or reassurance from the love veterans.

[d0nnivain]

Drama is bad but the adrenaline rush is addictive. I too always had the high drama, high intensity relationships but they could be so draining. With my husband it's a steadier, calmer but stronger kind of love. It's more peaceful. It took me a while to understand that is more enduring. So try to relax about the lack of intensity. Be appreciative for all the good things & remind yourself that the intense guys proved untrustworthy so it's positive that this is different.

[todreaminblue]

intensity turns your hair grey prematurely.......relax take each day as a blessing and enjoy the non drama......feel the security feel the bliss......the knowing someone is good for you and you are good for them ....if you want to spice things up....add chilli powder to hot chocolate......instead of marshmellows.....and bite his lip gently.... when you kiss the chocolate off..have a lil bit o that chili heat........deb

[BaileyB]

Those are the best kind of relationships... Enjoy.

 

Intense feelings and drama is highly overrated in a relationship.

[Ooga]

Drama is bad but the adrenaline rush is addictive. I too always had the high drama, high intensity relationships but they could be so draining. With my husband it's a steadier, calmer but stronger kind of love. It's more peaceful. It took me a while to understand that is more enduring. So try to relax about the lack of intensity. Be appreciative for all the good things & remind yourself that the intense guys proved untrustworthy so it's positive that this is different.

Thank you, everyone, for your replies. I guess I was having expectations about the way I'm supposed to feel because I always hears about being in love and how blissful it is. I don't feel anything intense (like obsessively thinking about him) but I do know that I love him.