Nothingtolose Posted December 14, 2017 Posted December 14, 2017 Sounds like you made the right decision. I think most of us in this thread are talking about healthy relationships. It sounds like your ex wasn't doing his part to keep the relationship going. I was. In fact, when all the fighting started, I asked for a break so we could try to come up with a solution. Mine? Let's go to counseling. She broke up with me... then two weeks later said she wanted to try counseling, however, during our sessions, she really didn't try to make things work. Once again, the therapy sessions were spent blaming me for everything and not taking any responsibility for her actions. The same thing happened to me and my ex. We did couples counselling for about 5 months. He was the one who suggested counselling actually, because he was so sure the problem in the relationship was ME, that I was a nag and controlling/wanting him to change, and that once I stopped "nagging" we'd be just fine. Well we went to counselling and immediately in the first session, it was clear that a ton of our problems were due to his pot smoking and drinking, his apathy, his lack of motivation, poor communication skills etc. The counsellor raised those things and it became clear a ton of work had to be done, probably 30% on my side and at least 70% on his. He kept coming to the sessions and doing the 'assignments' (quizzes etc) our counsellor was giving us, but not any of the actual day-to-day work and changes that needed to be made. He never took ownership/accountability for anything in the sessions, and kept blaming everything on me. Towards the end of our relationship I started seeing the counsellor on my own, and even he agreed that I needed to get out because nothing was going to change.
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