Should I be excited or reluctant.

[leehamilton]

This looks long but bear with me. I met this guy online and we got together this weekend. We met at a bar during the day…I was so nervous. As soon as he arrived I somehow felt so relaxed..I’m usually not like this when I first meet someone but I was 100% myself. We spent our time getting to know each other, realizing we have so much in common in terms if interests and humor…laughing a lot. Something important to me. Also I’m SO attracted to him..like we walked out of the restaurant and I was thinking wow. We both had holiday parties to attend later so we agreed to meet up again later around 11. I left him, no kiss but thinking how much I liked him. Later at 11 on the dot he texts me, and we meet for another drink. Again we spent that time just laughing and saying how much we had in common. We leave to go to another bar/club we like. He knew people there who I met, if we ever got separated by talking to one of his fiends he’d always reach a hand around to touch me, make sure I’m still there/around. We finally kisse after dancing for a bit and it was like the floodgates opened. He started telling me how badly he wanted to text me after we first met, to say how he really enjoyed spending time together but was too nervous. Said how attracted he was to me, not just physically but my personality. Saying how confident and funny I am. He really was saying all the right things, and my god was he a good kisser. Our chemistry was insane, I’ve honestly never felt so connected to someone. I continued meeting his friends throughout the night, getting along great…one even said to take care and not hurt his friend, my guy seemed embarrassed. We were attached to each other all night, neither of us wanted to part so I ended up staying at his. Nothing but making out and falling asleep in each others arms. The next morning I expected it to change, be awkward bc next mornings tend to be. Not the case, he just kept holding me..looking me in the eyes and telling me how beautiful I was even after being out the night before, I thought I’d be pretty frightening looking. We spent hours in bed just cuddling, holding each other and just acting lovingly. After we went for a walk through the park, just continuing to say how happy we were to have met up. Kissing, holding onto each other. It was all really sweet and felt very comfortable. I get in a cab to go home and he texts me right away saying how much fun he had and to let him know when I’m back in town (I live two hours away). I told him I’d either be back Tuesday or Saturday.

 

So I haven’t stopped thinking about him, and my feelings are scaring me. Over a year ago my ex boyfriend passed away (we had only broken up a week before) and I miss him so much. Before I met this guy I showed a pic to a friend who said wow he kinda looks like ___ (ex bf). One of the things I miss about my ex was being wrapped up in his arms in the morning, he was strong and would pull me close and kiss my forehead. This guy yesterday did the same and I just melted. He has the same body type, and I loved every second I spent with him. I have never felt so strongly about someone in my life, but I’m scared to get hurt. I just met him and I miss the crap out of him. Crazy how one person can just do that to you. So, should I be excited or should I calm tf down lol

[ExpatInItaly]

First, I am sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, having lost an ex myself many years ago not long after we broke up. It's very hard.

 

Second, I would advise you to enjoy the moment with this new guy but not get ahead of yourself yet. You had a lovely time together, yes. But you barely know him. The feelings you're having are exciting ones, but they're not based on something deep at this point. Give him time to show you who he is and what he's about. Don't confuse lust (or nostalgia for the ex) with love.

 

Just keep perspective. See how this unfolds over the coming weeks.

[d0nnivain]

Please accept my condolences too on the death of your EX. One of my EX's died about two years after we broke up. It still hurt, not so much because I wanted him back but because it was just so sad.

 

 

Anyway you can be excited. This is an exciting time but you do need to reign yourself in. Don't let the excitement or hormones control your decision making. So far this is one date which turned into a sleep over. It's not a commitment nor should it be. You should be looking no farther forward then whether you will get a good night kiss on NYE. Try dating conventionally & unless you are willing to have sex, stay out of each other's beds. Considering how intense you think the chemistry is, you would be best served by staying away from any private venue with flat surfaces -- living rooms, back seats etc.

 

 

Enjoy the excitement but think & make decisions with your head.

[GoldenR]

No mention of the boyfriend that you live with now....?

[d0nnivain]

In light of the fact that you still live with a BF, you need to be reluctant to move forward with this new internet guy. Until you actually break up with your BF & move out, you are in no position to start a new relationship no matter how exciting you think the new guy is.

 

At some point you may need to take a moment for yourself. From the death of the one guy to breaking up & moving . . . monkey branching to this internet guy sounds like a whirlwind.