The things that MMs or MWs said that made you go hmmmm........

[justcallmesnug]

The MM said to me one day, in a rage about one thing or another, "You can't just be happy that I love you, you want the whole thing!"

 

That was one thing and there were a few others. Other people out here, what kind of one-liners were said to you that when you look back now, sort of summed it all up?

[Jtizzle]

Summed it up that what? me and him couldnt and wouldnt be together like I wanted to? or summed it up to end the relationship ?

 

if ur referring to that me and him coudnt be together like "that" it wasnt a sayin, it was more like a action..i wrote him a loooooooooong letter which was like 15 pages..and i was like ull know a person is into you when they spend this much time on a letter,also included a bunch of questions that i wanted to know about him, so that i could do sumthing "special"..well his response to my 15 page letter was a 1 and a half page letter that answer 2 out of my 50 questions...

 

so that action in itself summed it up for me that he wasnt into me like that..even though he said the I love u blah blah mess..

[lynnered]

in the begining he used to say

"i dont wanna screw u up for when u get married one day"

early on again

(when the guy i was dating was coming back to town)

either me or him i dont want to be part of that type of situation

but as for me &MM I know he loves me ,i still love him ,he just doesnt have Balls to go

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by Jtizzle

Summed it up that what? me and him couldnt and wouldnt be together like I wanted to? or summed it up to end the relationship ?

 

if ur referring to that me and him coudnt be together like "that" it wasnt a sayin, it was more like a action..i wrote him a loooooooooong letter which was like 15 pages..and i was like ull know a person is into you when they spend this much time on a letter,also included a bunch of questions that i wanted to know about him, so that i could do sumthing "special"..well his response to my 15 page letter was a 1 and a half page letter that answer 2 out of my 50 questions...

 

so that action in itself summed it up for me that he wasnt into me like that..even though he said the I love u blah blah mess..

 

I was just asking people some things that the MM or MW might have said that made you think the relationship would or wouldn't work out. Like we always used to say "in the future, we can..." Meaning when he left his wife after his kids were grown. I used to say "you're future is going to be great, even if your present isn't so great." He used to say "I know"

[lust4life]

"I was trying to break up with her, but then she broke up with me, so I made up with her so that I could break up with HER." (My ego wouldn't let it be any other way- ego!!)

 

MY H was a cMM and I just find dialog like this is so showing of the absurd way of thinking!

[newbby]

"I was trying to break up with her, but then she broke up with me, so I made up with her so that I could break up with HER." (My ego wouldn't let it be any other way- ego!!)

 

i think this is exactly what my xmm did, except he wasnt trying to break up with me. i had made one slip after months and months of him pursuing me and lying to me and showing up at my door with strange excuses. well, i made one slip and then thoroughly regretted it and told him so. after this he did everything he could to make me let him come round again, including sending me flowers etc, only so that he could reject me!!!

[lust4life]

Oh, it is so funny how two people can see the same sentence and have it mean two totally different things.

 

Someone wrote an entire 15 page letter, it reminds me of an email I found, she (ow) had written at length, about feelings her marriage etc...etc...

At the reply my H had written

 

"I think you know I feel the same way."

 

Okay, Now not being the recepient of that one line, we all here would say, HUH? How can anyone know what that means, the recepient would go away feeling completely validated while many people would wonder if he read it or skimmed it. Right? If he had said that to me after a 5 minute dialog, I would have said "You ass, YOU aren't even listening to me!" For her, I know she thought it meant hang on we will find a solution.

[newbby]

or ambiguity is an easy form of manipulation

[justcallmesnug]

How about this one? Talking with MM and he was saying how he is only with me and I am the one he is intimate with, etc. I said well, you're not really with me, you're with her (W). He said, "we're really not together."

 

At the time, I knew what he meant, just going through the motions to give an appearance of a "family". It is a totally different meaning to me now. They are so freakin' together that it's not even funny.

 

Also, can I get a cyber pat on the back for no sex for one year with MM or anyone else? Thanks.....

[lynnered]

cyber pat

[lust4life]

Okay, Big PAT. (for not sleeping with MM, I am not sure I can pat for not sleeping with anyone for a year- AHHHHH!) I would go insane!

 

I have to go to a general post ot post in. This reminds me of another sentence but may be the wrong forum.

[joodee]

I used to ask the MM when would he and I have dinner with his daughters, and he said "real soon." His ambiguos response was yet another red flag that he wasn't taking action.

 

There were many more things that he said but that one stands out in my mind cause he knew how important it was for me to know his daughters (which would also show me that he was truly separated from the W), so I think he would say to keep me hooked.

[justcallmesnug]

I am no longer sexually involved with MM. So about a month ago he was making some hint about when am I going to get to see you again. I said I wasn't sure because it's too upsetting for me.

 

He said, "What am I supposed to do for sex?" I said, "Aren't you asking the wrong person? You should be asking your wife about this, not me."

 

He went on to say that he doesn't sleep with her and he is asking me what I expect him to do for sex. Seeing how he swore up and down how much he loved me and adored me and yada yada, I said, "Follow your heart."

 

The whole issue I have with him is not being honest with his W about the awful feelings he has towards her. He met a wonderful person who loved making love with him, helping him with everything. I mean, I truly love and care for him. He should be asking her about what he's supposed to do for sex, as there hasn't been any between them in over 4 years. She must know he's very sexual, and I think to never bring the topic up at home is ridiculous. If I were his W, or things were out in the open about us, I would be making love with him, I love him.

[BoatingBabe]

He would call himself "my future man" trying to tell me he's going to leave his wife and become my man (knowing I wouldn't have it any other way)..but now I see it was just more manipulation.

[newbby]

i'm sorry jcms, but he does sleep with his wife. is this what you were saying? because if he didnt, they would have discussed this, as you said.

[Miffy]

'Sometimes I just walk away because I love you so much and I am scared of getting hurt'

 

First prize for being a class1a d1ck.

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by newbby

i'm sorry jcms, but he does sleep with his wife. is this what you were saying? because if he didnt, they would have discussed this, as you said.

 

No, he had an affair because he finds her repulsive. I believe it's been 4.5 years since they've been intimate. She basically wanted kids, I believe. I've been told by others that she begged him for the kids, and he didn't want any more kids (has one grown). Brings to mind another quote:

 

"She probably knew I'd leave her if we never head children."

 

Yeah, she read him right from the beginning. He is stuck good now.

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by BoatingBabe

He would call himself "my future man" trying to tell me he's going to leave his wife and become my man (knowing I wouldn't have it any other way)..but now I see it was just more manipulation.

 

He never told me he would leave her, but made it sound more like he had left her in some respects. "My future man" sounds like that would do the trick for me, too, Babe!

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by Miffy

First prize for being a class1a d1ck.

 

Now is that class1a dick for North England, England entirely, all of Europe?

 

 

 

Snug

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Originally posted by Jtizzle

....i wrote him a loooooooooong letter which was like 15 pages..and i was like ull know a person is into you when they spend this much time on a letter,also included a bunch of questions that i wanted to know about him, so that i could do sumthing "special"..well his response to my 15 page letter was a 1 and a half page letter that answer 2 out of my 50 questions...

 

so that action in itself summed it up for me that he wasnt into me like that..even though he said the I love u blah blah mess..

 

Okay Jtizzle, that questionairre is just as WEIRD as asking your guy to send you his shirt.

[Miffy]

Ha ha snug, the WORLD I think.

 

D1cks like him should be tatooed with a warning - hey wouldn't that be great girls - we could check before we got our hearts involved.

 

Sadder than that is that we fall for these words, try to believe them, shut off our inner self which is screaming noooooo to us.

[justcallmesnug]

MM called me the day before my birthday, about 3 weeks ago, and said, "I know tomorrow is your birthday and I usually send roses and stuff, but I just don't have the money this year."

 

That made me cry right there, because getting the flowers and gift from him made me happy, but I know there are severe money issues. I told him I understand you are having finance issues.

 

10 days later he tells me his leaving for vacation, and I had thought he had skipped it this year because there was no money to go and he usually goes very early in the summer and did not.

 

How the F was there no money to send me flowers or a stop by with a card but enough to go away to a rental place that was $1500 minimum for the week, plus money to cover his job at work, at least $700? Never mind th emoney you spend while you are away on food, activities etc.

 

People, that hurt my feelings so badly. It just keeps getting worse and worse. This guy did a 360 on me like you wouldn't believe

[newbby]

i know that you are really hurting and i know that it is really hard, but you have made huge steps over the last few days of acknowledging that the affair is actually over. now you really need to do nc with the guy. it'll only get worse if you try to hang on to this.

he should have the guts to tell you it is over, but i seriously doubt he will, since he never had the guts to be honest to anyone in the first place. same with my mm not being able to tell me he no longer wants to be friends. they dont.

[justcallmesnug]

Originally posted by newbby

i know that you are really hurting and i know that it is really hard, but you have made huge steps over the last few days of acknowledging that the affair is actually over. now you really need to do nc with the guy. it'll only get worse if you try to hang on to this.

he should have the guts to tell you it is over, but i seriously doubt he will, since he never had the guts to be honest to anyone in the first place. same with my mm not being able to tell me he no longer wants to be friends. they dont.

 

Thanks. I'm just angry and hurt. You and I don't know each other or anything, but I am the sweetest big-hearted person out there. I did so much for him. I never expected to be ignored or spoken to in such a sarcastic and rude manner. He's lucky I don't pick up the phone and call W or write her a letter. I could ruin his whole fake life in 10 minutes. I'm not like that, but it is a thought!

[newbby]

well some have done and felt it gave them closure.

i dont personally think it would help you or your situation though. all it tends to do in most cases is bring them together against you. you would become the enemy and he would lie to her about you, saying it was all you etc, and she would believe him, because its what she would want to hear.

they are good liars, you know that.

neither do you need to do that, you are stronger than you think. how is the rest of your life, out of interest?