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Am I crazy to try to chase after this girl? (love letter included...)

oracle199

By oracle199
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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oracle199 New Member

oracle199

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Dated for about 6 months we were extremely close since we were together nonstop, she always said how she likes clingy and corny things. So we always say i love you and all these cute things. Every time I was with my friends she would get extremely pissed. If I didn't message her in the mornings she would get pissed. She wanted me to engage with her nonstop 24/7 and told me how she thinks she loves me more than I love her and she always thought I wasn't interested in her.

 

 

One night she was crying that some people in a game were harassing her, and we talked about it at least a dozen times agreeing to avoid that community all together. So by like the millionth time they were upsetting her I wasn't really taking it seriously at that point and she just said "good night"and logged off, then broke up with me the next day. Shes unfriended me a few times before and I always had to fight to get her back, but this time she cut me off completely because I didn't talk to her for a week, I thought not talking would be healthy for us

 

 

 

Shes left me with no way to contact her.

 

 

 

Here's the letter she gave to me.

 

 

 

Hi Robby...

I was thinking... on the day I met you... and all that had passed to me since that day...

I really gotta say that I don't regret anything cause at the end.... I was with the one I wanted...

I was... with the guy I wanted... how many people can say that?

... at least for me... it was really wonderful... or even better than wonderful, some kind of word that doesn't exist but you can feel it... Some word that makes you smile when you think about the special person you love... You invented that word in my world.

Sometimes I think about how insignificant we can be... and maybe no one will remember us or no one could ever feel or see what I really felt for you... I don't really know what to say... my feelings are all mixed up and when that happens well.....you start thinking a lot of things you know? bad or good... you think of them... Any single detail you change... can be misunderstood .. and it doesn't feel good but you kind of get used to it... because you are just worried about the person you love.

I think no one will ever understand my feelings right now... not even you.. I feel so sad... so confused and I'm filling my keyboard with salty tears... I just can't stop crying... it's so confusing.... and I can't do anything about it..... I don't have the control of it...

You have the control... but you don't take it... And all this time I have been trying to figure it out why you don't take it... Why you don't talk to me? Why you don't go after me? Why you don't fight for this?...

How can you even be without talking to me for more than an hour

I can't do that.... its suffocating... its.....addictive to talk with you... I just can't stop.... I can't do what you are doing...

I want to say so many things.... I just want to see that you are writing to me.... you mean so much to me....I really just let myself go with you....

Why can't you say a word to me?.... just say anything... ...just......love me....like I do....

Just love me....Robby.... Just love me....

I just can't stop thinking that I want to talk with you.....

I can't stop loving you . . . . . I just wanted to be your everything...

I just wanted to be the girl who knows everything about you, the girl who knows what you don't like, the girl that knows how to turn you on at night, the girl that knows how to make you smile, the girl that is always there for you when you are sad, the girl that is always there to see you fail and help you see that you have to keep trying, the girl who is always there whenever you archive something, the girl who makes you see how valuable you are and how incredible you are...... Just wanted to be the girl who truly loves you.

I really love you... and maybe a lot of people had told you that before.... but I wish you could believe me.... that I love you, I love you.... I love you..

I know maybe you will think this letter is useless... and I'm sure it won't make you talk to me more... no matter what I do because you didn't do it in the first place...

I dunno if I'm crazy to ask you to talk to me... and just say "Hey I miss you I want you back"...

I don't know what I'm going to do...

I can't think of anything but you... It just hurts so much... that I came back and....there was nothing from you....

I dunno.... anymore...

I can't be after you this time... Believe me I would go after you a thousand times... but I wanted you to do that this time.... I really wanted that...

I just....

...I dunno

I guess all I want to say is... that I enjoyed every single day with you...

I won't deny that...it will still hurt that you don't talk to me .... but it will heal with time... I hope...

Just... Thanks for loving me Robby...

alterest Established Member

alterest

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She loved you (perhaps still loves) but doesn't want to be with you right now. You have nothing to do right now, don't try to contact her and if she change her mind someday in the future she will tell you that. For now, you have to deal with the pain and so on, if you have to cry, cry, if you have to scream, scream... But let all that emotion go away from you. You have to move on right now and you have no option, so be it. It hurts, I know, but you can't do anything if she doesn't want to be with you or even talk with you. Let it go.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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I bet she's already with someone and was basically cheating.

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oracle199 New Member

oracle199

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She loved you (perhaps still loves) but doesn't want to be with you right now. You have nothing to do right now, don't try to contact her and if she change her mind someday in the future she will tell you that. For now, you have to deal with the pain and so on, if you have to cry, cry, if you have to scream, scream... But let all that emotion go away from you. You have to move on right now and you have no option, so be it. It hurts, I know, but you can't do anything if she doesn't want to be with you or even talk with you. Let it go.

 

Do you think you can love someone and at the same time be ready to throw them out of your life?

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Do you think you can love someone and at the same time be ready to throw them out of your life?

 

 

yes and it involves fear.......fear of rejection fear of getting hurt fear of abandonment.....fear of loving someone and them not loving you back.... fear of closeness....fear of separateness......fear of time.....fear of losing them....fear of them staying......

 

 

all in all that's the downside of love......fear BUT. when you truly love someone.......you are with them in spite of fear...good or bad....you stay and cant imagine life without them.......and if they love you back just as much...they will stay too...

 

we are such broken things in love....that it makes us stronger....... deb

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oracle199 New Member

oracle199

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I bet she's already with someone and was basically cheating.

 

Possibly. I'm reading this.

https://datingnotice.com/9-reasons-abandoning-narcissist-will-change-life/

 

"If they don’t have another form of narcissistic supply, then you are in for a very bumpy road ahead of you. The narcissist will try guilt tripping you into staying with them, in fact, they will probably pull out all the tricks they have at their disposal and use them on you one after another."

 

"Abandonment is their biggest fear. It could go one of two ways: they will say nothing and just drop you out of their life as if you didn’t exist."

 

"Narcissists hate seeing others people being happy. You don’t deserve to be happy; all the narcissist wants to do is to rip that smile off of your face. Why do you deserve to be happy when it has nothing to do with them?"

(She has told me she hates seeing other couples together, and also how she is extremely bothered by me being fine when I spend a few hours without her. These were early signs I didn't notice)

 

She loved you (perhaps still loves) but doesn't want to be with you right now. You have nothing to do right now, don't try to contact her and if she change her mind someday in the future she will tell you that. For now, you have to deal with the pain and so on, if you have to cry, cry, if you have to scream, scream... But let all that emotion go away from you. You have to move on right now and you have no option, so be it. It hurts, I know, but you can't do anything if she doesn't want to be with you or even talk with you. Let it go.

 

I am not as devestated about it as you think. (I kind of wanted to break up actually...) I have already asked another girl out that's been interested in me here in my apartment complex.

 

Trying to wrap my head around this break-up if we do see each other again, My heart says I should let her in, and my brain says it's a bad idea cause it's only a matter of time until she dissapears again.

Edited by oracle199
todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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i dont know if your ex is a narcissist i'm not a shrink and i dont know your ex........what i do know is that if people really do love each other they stay together.....good or bad, thick or thin....

 

fear isnt the reason to leave in all cases of people who have fear issues..you can learn how to cope......i have always had a fear of abandonment....i can cope with a committed relationship.....and have done so........

 

 

what i really believe in is to not play games with love or those you profess to love..... you dont break up unless its permanent.....that push pull thing is better when done by toddlers and the push pull thing squeaks....if you feel like you are being played with...you probably are and its best for your own mental health to walk away....good luck...deb

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oracle199 New Member

oracle199

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what i do know is that if people really do love each other they stay together....

 

Agreed, maybe I'll give her a chance I'll just be more direct about everything if I see her again.

 

thanks

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Stercrazy Established Member

Stercrazy

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For only a 6 month relationship this has waaaaaaaay too much drama. Run!!

alterest Established Member

alterest

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Do you think you can love someone and at the same time be ready to throw them out of your life?

 

I really do. People have their way of thinking and we can't do anuthing about that. I don't do that, I'm a beliver that you have to do anything to make it out until love fades away. But each person is different, right?

Don't try to understand her mind, bro. She broke up with you and the reasons don't matter. Mine broke up with me, I belived that was because her depression, elaborate reasons and so on, and it changes nothing. I'm still without her, but anxious, holding hope and wasted my time with that.

You have one certanty in all these thing: She broke up with you and she doesn't want to talk with you, and nothing you do will change that. Belive, pursuit her, sending flowers, cards, play with a band under her window only work on movies, and life isn't a movie. Perhaps a George Martin movie, but you get my point.

Forget her and move on. It's the only thing you can do right now.

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