simon_uk Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 I am in a bit of a dilemma. The website I did for my ex is up for renewal 0n the 25th August, I just got an email saying that I will be recharged $44 because it is regisered in my name. Now I have no intention of paying it nor do I have ny intention of contacting her to tell her. So the only other option is to remove my paymeny details which I tried and it wont let me unless I put in another payment method. What should I do? any advice?
Mermaiden Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Is it a website hosting company or a domain registrar you'll be billed for? Whomever it is, email their billing department and say that the customer you were handling the site for won't be paying you for it, so you want the service not to charged to you and that you'll reverse the charges on your credit card if they still charge you anyway. Just do it right away so they can't say you were declinging services at the last moment.
Author simon_uk Posted August 21, 2005 Author Posted August 21, 2005 thats great advice thanks. I feel a bit of an arse really like I should let her know. If I pay it and then tell her I look like a wuss, if I don't pay it and let it die, I look bitter. Either way isnt good!!!!
dr strangelove Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Now you see how I feel.. I found this dumb cd looks like it belongs to my ex.. Look simon do what ever you like. There really is no rules for anything in life. good luck
sundrop Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Simon, I had to turn off my ex's xm radio. It was in my name and I wans't going to pay for it anymore. Don't feel bad, she shouldn't expect you to pay for anything anymore for her. If she does than she is being a little unrealistic.
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Just call her, make it short. Tell her what is going on with her website and that you can't afford to help her out so she has to pay up otherwise it will be canned. Plain and simple. If you make it into an issue it will become an issue.
dgiirl Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 I agree with wwiu. Just call/email her and tell her you received notice that her domain is up for renewal and that you will not be renewing it. If she wants the domain to tell you right away otherwise you are canceling the service. Just keep the conversation business like. My stbxh is an a$$ but atleast he told me he was cancelling the TV before he did.
Author simon_uk Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 ~So here I am worrying about the imminent contact when her site goes offline in the next few days and what happens? She texts me this morning with more random comments. This time she tells me that there is a sale on at Land of Leather and asks if I have got a new sofa yet. What?!?!?!?! I am thinking either she is very lonely or perhaps there is a subtext there, i.e she is missing me and wants to find out what she can in a roundabout kinda way? Anyway I have decided to send her an email anbd say look, this is how it is, you know my thoughts and my feelings but for the last time, do you want to try and work things out? If not friends is not an option!! Comments Please? Simon
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Anyway I have decided to send her an email anbd say look, this is how it is, you know my thoughts and my feelings but for the last time, do you want to try and work things out? If not friends is not an option!! Comments Please? don't respond at all...let her make the next move and that will reveal her intentions. if she does not contact you again within a month or so then just forget her.
Author simon_uk Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Funny that because I was going to PM you for your advice Alpha. Thats the problem you see, she doesnt make ehr intentions known so then I leave it, then a few weeks later I get another randon message. I have no doubt I am on her mind otherwise she wouldnt message me at all. A month ago she messaged me saying she thinks she still loves me and that she is confused and when I questioned her about it the next day, she said she was thinking about me but she was drunk. Do you think there is a subtext or am I just wishful thinking. I dont want to **** this up Alpha, so your advice would be most welcome.
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Funny that because I was going to PM you for your advice Alpha. I'm flattered Thats the problem you see, she doesnt make ehr intentions known so then I leave it, then a few weeks later I get another randon message. typical female behaviour I have no doubt I am on her mind otherwise she wouldnt message me at all. most likely this is true A month ago she messaged me saying she thinks she still loves me and that she is confused and when I questioned her about it the next day, she said she was thinking about me but she was drunk. alcohol tends to be a "truth serum" Do you think there is a subtext or am I just wishful thinking. I dont want to **** this up Alpha, so your advice would be most welcome. Most likely there is subtext but it depends on who left whom. If you dumped her then she is definitely trying to get back together. If she dumped you then she may be haveing 2nd thoughts but you should not make it easy for her. You'll need to make her pay and get down on her hands and knees to have you back otherwise she won't learn a lesson.
moon Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Simon UK, If your ex was the one paying for your website what would she do? Would she pay it? Probably not. She'd probably just let it go delinquent and claim dumb later if you hassled her about it. You might have thought about it long ago and would have brought it up at break up time if the website was actually important to you. That's what most people would have done. I'd just let it go. You are not obligated to pay for her website. I'd contact the company and tell them you are not paying for the website anymore, but if they want to continue to have the business of the person running it and using it they should contact her and then I'd give them her e-mail address. Then she'll be notified that she must now be responsible for the website or she'll be losing it. That seems perfectly logical. Good luck.
Author simon_uk Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 So last night I get another message from her telling me that the sale she was talking about was this Thursday for 12 hours, we then had a text conversation that went thus: Me: Listen, I can't be your friend, it is too difficult for me. You were my best friend. If you want anything more then please let me know, otherwise just leave me. I am sorry It is hurting me. Her: OK but when I thought I wanted more not too long ago you wasn't very enthusiastic. whatever you want. Me: What you said you were drunk. Her: O forget it, please dont do this. Just leave it SImon x Me: YOu said you think you still love me and I said I wish things were different. You replied and said, sorry I was thinking about you and had a glass of wine. I am really sorry. Her: You still only remember what you want to remember. x Her: I thought it had been long enough for us to be friends, obviously not. Why are you doing this to yourself? Have you not met anyone else yet? It is the same thing as when 'X' left you. Deja Vous Her: And the reason we split up us because you were hurting me. x Her: What are you doing now? x Me: I am at home Her: Doing What?x Me: Reading Her: What your computer screen?x (She always thought I spent too much time on the computer) Me: No a book. Why are you being mean to me? Her: I am not being mean its just you acting like a bloody victim again.x Me: I never wanted us to end. I have wanted you back ever since. I never meant to hurt you. I just want you to be happy. Night hun x Her: Goodnight Simon xxx (<-----------------Note three kisses) How bizarre!!! It started off pleasent enough. She has never actually said she wants to try again to me. She is confusing me but I want her back so much. I am trying to play it cool but I am finding it increasingly difficult. Things are looking so close and then going down hill. What to do? Anyone?
pippen_2k Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Dont look too deep into anyones text messages Simon.. We all experience this kind of behaviour from our ex girlfriends, and it never leads to anything!.. Only stress and more hurting on your side. I know its near impossible to stop, and most people enjoy beating a dead horse, but you gotta realise theres nothing you can do. Just protect yourself, and dont spill her your heart and tell her your hurting..thats a big turnoff and pushes people away.. Puts too much pressure on them and they will avoid you. She aint hurting, so the feelings you have for her, you aint getting back..... maybe time will change this..I dunno... but in the mean time just keep to yourself and limit your contact with her.
Sal Paradise Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Go no contact and stick with it. If she wants more she'll let ya know. If not you'll get over her. Either way you will be done with this bs.
Author simon_uk Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Yeah the thing is though she is saying she did let me know a few weeks back and I didnt seem interested. She didnt she said she 'thinks' she still loves me then the next day said, "sorry I was drunk" now I took that to mean sorry i didnt mean it, I was drunk, but I guess she could have meant sorry I shouldnt be telling you this, I was just drunk! I dont know anymore but I havent had a definite "I want us to try again" message.
chris1063 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Man this girl is a tough one to figure out Simon. She seems so mixed up. You've finally done what i've wanted you to do all along which was ask her the question but I think you now know that she doesn't want to get back together with you. The x after every message she sent is very strange ! I'd consider changing your mobile number, as much of a hassle as that may be. I think you now need to put yourself in a position where she can't text you anymore otherwise you'll never be free of her and she'll always be on your mind. I'm sorry Simon - this must be hurting you so much but believe me, I know how you feel. I have a situation at the moment because of a house sale where i'm still having to have contact with my ex and everytime I get an email from her it hurts so much to see her name.
Author simon_uk Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by chris1063 Man this girl is a tough one to figure out Simon. She seems so mixed up. You've finally done what i've wanted you to do all along which was ask her the question but I think you now know that she doesn't want to get back together with you. The x after every message she sent is very strange ! Hi Chris Sorry I dont really see that she doesnt want me, I just see that she is confused but if she does want me then she has to say. NC from me.
chris1063 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Well you know her better than I do ! I think NC is the way to go. I have a feeling we may be hearing more from you on this one. Good Luck Chris
Author simon_uk Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by chris1063 Well you know her better than I do ! I think NC is the way to go. I have a feeling we may be hearing more from you on this one. Good Luck Chris Thanks Chris I am not saying you are wrong by the way. I don't know either way it is just that text messaging is so ambiguous. She said she wanted more but I didnt sound keen, maybe I just inferred the message wrong? I have no idea. I think you are right about one thing, I dont think this will be the end of it. Simon
alphamale Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 SIMON, you need to break off all contact with this bird for at least 2 to 3 months and then see what she does. she is playing with your head and for your own mental health you better institute total NC. in the meantime have fun and try to date other birds. you are not giving her a chance to miss you. after a # of months with not talking or seeing her all will be much clearer and then you will see her real intentions.
Author simon_uk Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Alpha Thanks for the input. But we have been broke up for 5 months already. During that time I have stuck with the NC and sporadically replied when she has contacted me but this has been the closest to her (almost) saying she wants to try again.
sanne Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 simon, you should seriously consider changing your cell phone #. this girl is and will continue to be nothing but trouble. she contacts you when she's feeling lonely, and cares nothing for your feelings. you have already done a good job of moving on so far, but you will never heal until you close her off completely. let go of her, she's not coming back, what you need to do is kill that dream in your head of this girl coming back. there are other women out there that won't play headgames like this.
Sal Paradise Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Sporadically replying isn't no contact. Its limited contact. Do real no contact for 5 months and you'll see a difference in the way you feel.
alphamale Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by Sal Paradise Sporadically replying isn't no contact. Its limited contact. In all actuality, SALPARADISE, you either have contact or you have no contact. There is no such thing as "limited contact", it is contact.
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