mistycord Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 So a couple of days ago, I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 6 months. He just had crappy communication skills and it was really affecting our relationship. I spoke with him explaining my side of it and why I wanted to break up. He was accepting of the break up and said I was wife material and that he wanted me to be happy but that due to his job and current financial situation (he works as a accountant and works lots of overtime in order to save up to buy a house) he can't have a relationship at the moment and that maybe we could try again once he settles the situation with his house. I was upset cause even though I was the one who initiated the breakup, it felt like I was being dumped. He said he still wanted me in his life even as a just a friend but hasn't contacted me since the break-up conversation (3 days ago). I've cried on and off since then and I just feel so hurt. It feels like he doesn't care about the break-up at all. I know it sounds childish and petty but I'm also a little hurt he didn't try to fight for me which sounds so dumb I know. How do I start to move on and reclaim my happiness? And is it even worth getting back together with him if that situation arises in the future?
chinadiary Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 You've been distracted by the wife material comment. You said it yourself, you dumped him because he had crappy communication skills and it was affecting your relationship. Do you really want to be married so badly you'll take a guy who can't communicate with you? Of course you're broken hearted. You love him. It'll take time to get over him. 2
basil67 Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 He sees you as wife material. But not his wife. Someone else's wife. As part of your therapy to move on, go back and read the previous threads you wrote here. You weren't happy and those threads will remind you why you ended it. 2
mortensorchid Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 Why did you break up with him to begin with? You're experiencing some displaced emotions by crying about it now. Even in situations when a man broke up with me I would feel depressed for weeks afterward. It's a very typical man/female reaction to it. The man feels almost overjoyed he's so high that he broke up with that woman, the woman is depressed and sad. Months later, the man will be depressed that he was so stupid as to let go of such a wonderful woman and the woman will be happy to be rid of him. Facts. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 Yes, his response is a clear indication that he was nowhere near as invested as you were.
smackie9 Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 So a couple of days ago, I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 6 months. He just had crappy communication skills and it was really affecting our relationship. I spoke with him explaining my side of it and why I wanted to break up. He was accepting of the break up and said I was wife material and that he wanted me to be happy but that due to his job and current financial situation (he works as a accountant and works lots of overtime in order to save up to buy a house) he can't have a relationship at the moment and that maybe we could try again once he settles the situation with his house. I was upset cause even though I was the one who initiated the breakup, it felt like I was being dumped. He said he still wanted me in his life even as a just a friend but hasn't contacted me since the break-up conversation (3 days ago). I've cried on and off since then and I just feel so hurt. It feels like he doesn't care about the break-up at all. I know it sounds childish and petty but I'm also a little hurt he didn't try to fight for me which sounds so dumb I know. How do I start to move on and reclaim my happiness? And is it even worth getting back together with him if that situation arises in the future? You got your answer that you needed....he wasn't that into you. 6 months is nothing, you dodged a bullet. I know it hurts but smart move on your part. You called it right....you knew this wasn't working out. I wouldn't waste time going back.
Popsicle Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 So a couple of days ago, I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 6 months. He just had crappy communication skills and it was really affecting our relationship. I spoke with him explaining my side of it and why I wanted to break up. He was accepting of the break up and said I was wife material and that he wanted me to be happy but that due to his job and current financial situation (he works as a accountant and works lots of overtime in order to save up to buy a house) he can't have a relationship at the moment and that maybe we could try again once he settles the situation with his house. I was upset cause even though I was the one who initiated the breakup, it felt like I was being dumped. He said he still wanted me in his life even as a just a friend but hasn't contacted me since the break-up conversation (3 days ago). I've cried on and off since then and I just feel so hurt. It feels like he doesn't care about the break-up at all. I know it sounds childish and petty but I'm also a little hurt he didn't try to fight for me which sounds so dumb I know. How do I start to move on and reclaim my happiness? And is it even worth getting back together with him if that situation arises in the future? Don't cry, girl. He was not ready. Lots of people aren't ready for various reasons. He won't be the last person you meet who is not ready. Don't take it personally. Be thankful that he was honest with you and you didn't waste more of your time.
Imajerk17 Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 (edited) Well, Isn't "you're wife material but I'm not ready for a relationship" analagous to a woman telling a guy she Friendzoned that "he'll make some lucky woman really happy one day". As far as your question of "how you move on", well, we aren't therapists. I CAN say this though: He was a bad communicator because he was never as invested into the relationship as you were. (sorry) You were right to break up with him. Edited December 3, 2017 by Imajerk17 1
barbossa Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 So a couple of days ago, I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 6 months. He just had crappy communication skills and it was really affecting our relationship. I spoke with him explaining my side of it and why I wanted to break up. He was accepting of the break up and said I was wife material and that he wanted me to be happy but that due to his job and current financial situation (he works as a accountant and works lots of overtime in order to save up to buy a house) he can't have a relationship at the moment and that maybe we could try again once he settles the situation with his house. I was upset cause even though I was the one who initiated the breakup, it felt like I was being dumped. He said he still wanted me in his life even as a just a friend but hasn't contacted me since the break-up conversation (3 days ago). I've cried on and off since then and I just feel so hurt. It feels like he doesn't care about the break-up at all. I know it sounds childish and petty but I'm also a little hurt he didn't try to fight for me which sounds so dumb I know. How do I start to move on and reclaim my happiness? And is it even worth getting back together with him if that situation arises in the future? There are a lot of girls. very few wifey material girls but to say so in 6 months???? damn can't even get to 1 year? I feel suspicious about his wifey comment to you. I feel it is too soon to make that judgement. I also feel suspicious about him and working and wanting to buy a house? since when did a lack of owning a house stop a dude? A good relationship takes two people to work hard at it. Also a good partner helps their S/O helps them be a better version of themselves. If you clearly communicate that his lack of money is not an issue for you.... And he still wants to give you up? There is probably another girl....
spiderowl Posted December 3, 2017 Posted December 3, 2017 Buying a house would not stop a guy from being with the girl he wanted. This guy does not seem very invested. That's probably why there were communication issues. You called him out on it and he did not try to resolve things. You will find someone better but it does hurt at the time, there's no way round that. Once you detach from him, after a few weeks you will be understanding why the break up was essential.
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