Lillyb Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 (edited) I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a month now. About a week or two before we said that we liked each other, he broke up with his girlfriend (now ex) of 2 years because she cheated. I was hesitant at first because I wanted him to take time to heal, but he told me that he got over it and that he lets things go quickly so he was comfortable to enter a new relationship. *He told me that he's a serial monogamist. We have been moving fast physically. I already gave him oral and we kiss and cuddle. He is also very open and honest with me and talks about his past a lot. He told me that he's letting me know certain things because he wants this to be a serious relationship. His parents already want to meet me and he's going to meet my family sometime soon as well. He has a history of having long term relationships (that lasted up to 3 years). So, is this a rebound relationship since he moved on from his ex quickly or is this something that can develop into a serious long term one? Edited December 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
carhill Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 One, you have no proof she cheated, I presume. Two, why hasn't he given you 'oral'? Three, why the rush? I mean it's been 'almost a month' and he's a stranger, right, or was a month or so ago? Rebound, player, romeo, sincere, IDK. My old guy radar says trust but verify. Things are going rapidly. How many dates?
Author Lillyb Posted December 1, 2017 Author Posted December 1, 2017 Well, we were friends about a month before dating. We have only been on one date, but I honestly didn't mind it because I enjoy the time with him as it is. And he wants to give me oral, but I'm not comfortable with him seeing my vagina or us going on to the actual intercourse.
carhill Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 I'll share the reasoning... 1. People make statements to evoke emotions. A guy who states his spouse or partner cheated on him, if he's read his target right, will expect that to evoke an emotion of sympathy or empathy because, well, no one likes to be cheated on. It's a classic move that, frankly, women have used on me for decades. 2. Two, thanks for answering the question and it came from the place of equality, him also wishing to give you sexual pleasure, which is something a healthy lover is only too happy to do. How about some mutual masturbation or manual stimulation? Been there done that plenty of times clothes can stay on. Actually, it's kinda fun. 3. Time reveals all truths. Classic game is to lock her/him down with some sort of emotional investment as quick as possible. Time, in that game, is an enemy. Truth about things could come out. An interloper might appear. Life might intrude. Get it now. He's stated he's fresh out of another relationship. A 2 year one. That's significant. If he felt anything for the person, and especially if she did cheat on him, that's gonna burn. It takes time to process. If he is feeling nothing and 'moved on', ostensibly without any self-reflection, he will be that man in your interactions. Up to you if that's what you want. Personally, I'm suspicious of anyone who jumps from one relationship to another. Why? I married one of those, her third marriage, and saw how she 'thought' love and marriage instead of feeling it. If that distinction is not important to you, cool. It was to me. Caught it too late. Good luck! 1
rightondude Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 no way of knowing for sure right now given the small amount of time you've known one another. Time will tell.
staggerlee71 Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 fresh out a relationship is rebounding doesn't matter what he says or believes because he hasn't processed the last tread lightly
staggerlee71 Posted December 2, 2017 Posted December 2, 2017 don't you remember how you felt out of a relationship? dumper or dumpee, doesn't matter. you just wanted to feel good again
mortensorchid Posted December 2, 2017 Posted December 2, 2017 He claims otherwise, but I don't know much else other than what you said about his true nature. I hope you don't have a situation where he says one thing but means another. Every man I've been in an LTR with as an adult rebounded and either went to some shrew within weeks/months and stayed with her for YEARS afterward, or married the next one barely a year later to have it fall apart after two or three years of a nightmare. I hope this doesn't happen to you.
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