SmokeyJ Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 (edited) Hello, i know my ex girlfriend (27 - me 29) since last year in august. She has a genetic error that results in a depression as the metabolism in her brain does not function properly. We found us on a dating app, she was recently left after a ten years relationship and her ex boyfriend starting a new relation while they where planning there wedding. We worte a lot in august and had one date, but this date went horribly. It was late at night, she was coming to my place and we talked for a while. But i started to pressure her and had a really ****ty approach. So she had no interest in me, as she thought i was a potential partner prior to this meeting. But i had a really bad time there and was not nearly my usual self at that date. She later often told me, that she did see me as unkempt that night and really unattractive. She was going on vacation to italy afterwards and we had no contact. I thought it was over and didn`t thought much about it, went on a few other dates with other women, but no woman i met was like her. On the last day of her vacation, she messaged me, friendly, to tell me that she is now on the way home and to send me some pictures of the vacation. Nothing about a further date or things like that. I responded, but was distanced as i thought it would never work out between us. A week later, i messaged her, just a short message to see if she would be interested to have another date, as i was still interested and thought i should give it a try. She said, that she has no time and gave me no alternative date, so i thought was all over. She messaged me a week later, told me that i would have been other on the first date, we would already have sex. I thought to my self what the ****. I messaged her that she should forget about that and try it out again. She said yes, we met, had bad sex as i was not able to hold my erection at that time, but a great time together overall. We aranged some more dates in the time frame of november and dezember, talked about our feelings and problems and i made a huge mistake to lie about my past, just to give her the feeling that she can relate to me. It made me look weak and she told me, that i was just not her type of men. She had other men that where there to have sex with her as well as she told me later. I said ok (as she told me via whatsapp) and we stayed in contact for a few day. I went to my best friend and got back home on the second of january. That day, she deleted me from facebook and i messaged her: "Ok, seems like you dont want to stay in contact, good bye". She escaleted, messaged me and called me like crazy just a short time later. We met the same evening, just friendly, but it was still funny. On the third of january, her dog died and she lost her job and she wanted to meet me, wanted to talk and to have sex (send me nude pictures and stuff like that, wanted to see if i can now ave better sex with her). We met, had a good time and ok sex. We also met on the 7. and she told me, that she had met with another guy and that is why she cancelled the contact to me as she wanted to give that guy a try, they met but she he was an *******. We had a great time in january, i thought it would go into a relationship now, but she still saw me as a weak man and still searched for other men on the side. After a bad evening in late january, she met another guy, that gave her an exciting feeling. So she told me that she tried to get feelings for me, but she couldnt and she now is dating a new guy that she knows for years. Later, she revealed the truth and told me that she met him in january. We still had some contact, more like me running after her and her new friend using that to create attraction and getting a great time. As it had shown afterward, he was a total dushbag, got into her home, took her macbook and stuff like that. He also met her parents, told them that he has a background in IT (no college degree, mid 30, no job, smoking joints all day and epileptic), used the pc of there parents to get access to it and made some other hacks to it. I had a fun time to reveal all of that and return it to normal afterwards. She went on vacation in february, we had 10 days of no contact and then we started to have some slow contact. I thought it would never get better end february and that she is now in a great relationship and made myself clear, that everything is gone. The same day i made that decision, she called me and we talked for a long time. We did not meet that evening, but the contact got better from her side. We met in march, as she was very unhappy with her new job and the relation and nobody expect me was there for her. We met a few times, kissed once while she still was in the relationship and she started to see more then the weak guy in me. She left her boyfriend in march and went partying with her girlfriends and invited me, as we both loved to dance with each other. She kissed me exited that evening and seemed really into me. But her girlfriend told me, that i was in the friendzone and should stop hoping for anything of a relationship with her. She did get some drugs in her drink that evening and got completly blank that evening. I brought her home with her girlfriends together, after we had a talk and she told me that she just doesnt love me. Her girlfriends left her lying infront of her home as i was there and i should handle it. They met me the first time that evening. I cared for her that night, she revealed that she still is not over her ex boyfriend and has started the contact to the guy from december again. We slept in the same bed, but didnt have sex or anything. The next morning, she drove me home and met her girlfriend to go to the doctor. They found out that it where infact drugs. This was the start to april. She told me in april the truth about the other guys, had a sex date with another guy around easter. But she did not flee from me, we had great contact and she did infact start to fall in love with me after the sex date as she told me. She did not want to start as a slut again (her words) and invited me to the family vacation home a week after easter. Prior, i had saved all of her old data from her old pc that did not work anymore. (I work in the IT for 6 years while i was studying and afterwards) Her family was really inviting, we had a great time that day and a great night (with great sex). One of her girlfriends (was not partying with us that night) always told her to try it out with me and her family also told her to try it out with me as she can not loose such a great guy. That is what she told me afterwards. I told her that night that i want a relationship with her and she agreed. We had a great first month, both of us where giving, we saw each other like everyday, had a great time. We had a great monthly anniversary and in my eyes, we had good sex. We bought a dog together and she wanted me to move in with her. We worked together on the vacation home of her parents, i fixed some stuff. But in her opinion i was not a handy man (but could build some stuff that they still use there). But then, we started to fight. We had up and downs. I thought it went bad after she lost her job (again), had bad test results in her further education, stress in her old horse barn and so on. I always supported her and she loved that i helped her. But in her eyes, it was not the support that i gave her prior to the relationship, this unconditinal love that she recieved from me, against all odds. We had a vacation in july with some of her horsefriends. They made fun of my overweight while we where swimming and she was embarrased because i was so fat. She did not defend me (i didnt hear it, she told me afterwards that the women talked about me) and told me that she is embarrased because of me. With did not seperate, but we fought even more and it started to stop getting better after the fights. She started a her new job in august and i started my self-employment. I also moved to her place. There was stress during the movement as i have planned it in august (while she had to work overtime as we had a planned vacation of three weeks together in september). The sex got worse. We fought a lot, i criticized her behavior towards me. She critizised me because of my inabilty to do things her way. She got home every evening and we did not have a great time as she resented me for being there. I worked from our place, took care of the dogs (our dog and her older dog), cleaned the house and started all her unfinished problems (documents, a room full of junk, and so on). She resented me for starting it, but not finishing everythings and making it perfect. She resented me for everything, as she tought it will never become as good as the start again and critizised me for everything. We went on vacation to italy with her parents and two caravans (our was rented). I had my birthday on the first day of the vacation. On my birthday, i made a huge mistake. I put fuel in the fresh water tank and she escalated all of the vacation because of it. We had many fights during the vacation, i worked with a laptop to avoid the stress. But we still fought, infront of her parents. I told her that i want to fly home, she told me to stay. I stayed, but it did not get better.She bought me stuff on the vacation, but i did not want it. I had a huge problem with her behavior and that she always found new stuff to find beef - like that i did not tell thanks to her dad for helping me with the gasolin in the watertank. I thought i did, was quite sure, but her parents resented me for not doing so and she resented me even more. Her parents payed a huge amount of money for the vacation After all the fighting during the vacation, she was even more stressed and had to work overtime. My connection to her parents went very bad, as i had a bad feeling because of the vacation and was ashamed of my behavior and all the fights. I thought she was stressed because of that, but she neglects that and tells me all of it is because of me. We had two huge fights after the vacation, one time she kicked a hole in a door and another time (our last fight), she stood in front of me, did want me to leave to room, bit in my finger and made some marks on my body. After she bid on my finger, she got some coldspray for me, but i fled to house she asked me not to do that and i came back after five minutes because i had only a tshirt on my body. We didnt talk that night and the next day, we took a walk with the dogs. We didnt talk there either and i walked home as i told her to drive home as i wanted some freedom. She talked with her sister on the phone and told me that she cryed because she couldnt handle the relationship any longer. She broke up with me. We sleeped in the same bad that night, i could not sleep and said some nasty stuff like that she destroyed my future (for what i apologized the same moment). The next night, i slept on the couch and then i took some clothing and went to my home city to my best friend. I went partying the next day (i sat at home the last months or was together with her) and she totally escalated. The next day, she told me that she missed me and we had the first good talk since a long time. This was a weekend. On monday, i started to check the old dating app if she signed up there the moment she left me, first i didnt found her, but after some time, if found a newly created account (created on sunday). I totally escalated that day, she had me blocked on whatsapp, didnt accept my phone calls, so i asked her sister (who had birthday that day), to tell her to unblock me. This was in the middle of the night. I wrote all her family members prior to that to have a good birthday (they all had birthdays start of november). She resents me for even doing that. She resents me for involving her family and it seems like her family does this as well. She also resents me for sending many text messages (after she unblocked me on whatsapp) and many emails. Sometimes she send me friendly stuff, pictures and so one, but most of the time she escalades for talking about the break up. Now she told me, that she is seeing a new guy which she got to know on her new working place. She tells me that it started a week after the break up as everybody now sees that she is now happier then before. This week, she did not go to work as she told me, because she has physical and psychological problems. She even told me on monday (after two days of no contact) that she wants me to be part of her life, but today (friday - after i had send her some messages this week about our break up and she some about some problems she has) she tells me that she does not want me to be part of her life any longer. Tomorrow i will move all my stuff from our place to my new place and after that, she wants to have no contact to me. She also keeps the dog. I told her to, because i dont want to seperate the dogs. She did not offer me any money back. She also wants money from me for other things. She already blocked me on all social medias. I asked her today, if she can still remember the start of the relationship and she told me that she wanted that all the time, but i didnt showed her anything in the last month or even after the break up. I still dont know, how i should react tomorrow. Can someone give me advise? I still would love to get the relationship from the start back, but she does not see that as possibilty and thinks that it would just work out for two months max. She also told me, that she resented my odor (she actually told me that in january also) and send me an email that she didnt love and just tried it out to get feelings for me in the relationship. Often times. we argued about money as she comes from a rich family and i invested most of my money in my new business. It took some time to get me back on track, why i worked so much. I told her stuff like that i want to move to my home town to save money as the living with her was quite expansive in my opinion. She had money problems with her ex boyfriend. She had some debts and i brought her to open up to her parents about that. She also resents me for that. Greetings, Edited December 1, 2017 by SmokeyJ
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