wallace87 Posted November 30, 2017 Posted November 30, 2017 Ok some background, girl I saw for about 3 months, which I know isn't the longest but still. Same age, new to the country and great, fun, opinionated, affectionate, and we were both into each other very quickly. My issue was I was a 30 year old virgin, and worried about it. I'm ok looking and not socially inept but it just never happened and the walls built up, but time to conquer my mental block. So when the time came years of nerves hit me and I couldn't maintain performance, so to speak, to my shock. I was mortified and told her all so she knew it wasn't her fault. She was surprised obviously, but sweet. Eventually we had sex, but the chronic over thinker in me made the problem reappear, maybe 5 times overall, one time she got frustrated and gave what seemed an ultimatum to fix it, before being super sweet the next time I saw her, when I also heard about her nightmare with an ex and her consequently needing time . But a couple weeks later almost overnight she decided my attitude towards the issue was bad, I hadn't shown initiative to fix it. She didnt feel butterflies anymore and didn’t want a relationship. She said some nasty things at my weak moment about being weak and having no balls which crushed me to be honest. Yet she stressed she still liked me, wanted to see me and would help me. I get that its not her problem and isn’t an appealing situation for a woman, but I felt her timing was unfair as I had at this point been to the doctor and arranged to see a therapist to overcome this, and still am. But she still kept daily contact, and eventually I got her out. The ex bf was raised and how she needs time to believe in people etc, then she told me I need to take action, which confused me as, but we ended up kissing and getting close again like before. But next meet she was cold, and I didn't feel I could try anything, which she probably judged me for. I just left her a nice message after, which was ignored for a few days before she started texting again. After a couple of days I went in for another meet and she said she’d let me know. I tried a few more times over the next week, maybe looking abit desperate, and got responses of not knowing work rota yet (legit probably), but unlike previously she never suggested when she was free once she knew and I lost heart – we’d gone from 2 meets a week to twice in a month. It was confusing, on one hand she needed time and didn’t want a relationship, but on the other she said I needed to take action, which is what I was trying to show I guess. Maybe I read that wrong. I was only trying to see her at this point though, and I figured if she wanted to see me she would have and maybe it was time to bow out and leave it to her while doing my own thing, considering what a toll all these prior events have taken on the rest of my life too. We haven’t spoke in a month now, I was maybe abit short with responses when we last spoke, she tried to make conversation after she’d just turned down some prearranged plans we had. Fast forward a week and she cut me off social media. This stung as we never argued or had angry words so I’m not sure how I annoyed her to go to the trouble, she always seemed abit no nonsense and said she got rid of any problems in her life quickly, due I think to her bad ex bfs, but I didn’t think she’d do that with me this fast. Clearly this whole situation is of my own daft making in my head. I don’t know how personally she really took what happened but I feel she could have given it a little more time and been nicer about it. But I miss her, our jokes and the affection, and struggle with the fact she could just cut me out of her life like that, it all just feels unresolved. I also beat myself up over things I may have misread or done wrong which I know is pointless. Is there any way of salvaging this or has she left me behind and I should just be moving on like I’ve been trying? Opinions appreciated and apolgies for the length
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