wakamiya Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Ok so I recieved an email from my ex.. "well, I got to thinking about it and I figured you'd probably look up the logs, so here's some interesting reading: find the part where I said "ignorant people believe what they want to believe, not what the facts tell them" a good example being that "oh, we have souls, and we'll go to heaven if we go to church and repent our sins".. and another good example is how you fight about the stupidest things yet believe you're innocent, because oh no.. he can't be ignoring me because *I* did anything wrong, it's all his fault! i'm perfect, because that's what I want to believe while he's ignoring me for what I did wrong! just something you may want to think about, not that I want to see you again.. but maybe it will help you mature for the next guy you lure into your web ..." I sent him a pretty neutral email the other day. But waited 3 days to send it, because I've been kinda busy, and fumed(knew I would blow up at him if I sent him one the same day he did). I got this one Today. Second email in a row, so I guess he's pretty mad? I've had this relationship with my ex WHICH IS SO MESSED UP. He would think I'm accusing him...once he said "You probably thought i did Yadda yadda yadda with <girl>" I don't know what to say to that. In fact sometimes I say "Yeah I guess you could have". I can't say I've never accused him, but he would think up crap my mind would never think up about him! Jeesh. Yeah, I get jealous...but he blew it out of proportion from day one. He will never let it go that I did something to show I was insecure. Another thing that really irritates me is he Tells me what I think, and what I am. "oh, we have souls, and we'll go to heaven if we go to church and repent our sins". - I don't believe I should be forgiven for some of the stuff I did. "yet believe you're innocent, because oh no.. he can't be ignoring me because *I* did anything wrong, it's all his fault! i'm perfect, because that's what I want to believe while he's ignoring me for what I did wrong!" - I <b>NEVER</b> ever in my life thought that. He's misjudging me...and it always feels like he's trying to make me feel more guilty than I should. I can't remember how many times I said sorry or said I would try harder, nor I didn't ask for his forgiveness. (But that would be nice) Am I doing something wrong? I could easily do NC, but I want to confront him. Maybe we're both really neurotic...I just find it weird he still gets mad for things I did all the way back in 2004, and tries to make me feel guilty still.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I want to confront him. What would be your ideal resolution in this 'back and forth' you two have going on? What is the outcome you hope to see from it?
lostinmymind Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Just ignore all this. It's sometimes normal for an ex to act like this, especially when they are still immature. Their newfound 'freedom' makes them think the world revolves around them. So, they accuse you of thinking about them and worrying about what they are doing all the time. Don't give in, just act like you don't care. Often, an ex gets mad if you aren't begging for them back. Don't give in, let him think whatever he wants, but don't offer anything to support his theory. Show him everything he thinks about you is wrong by moving on from him. This will give him a slap in the face. DO NOT CONFRONT HIM! Nothing will be gained from it and it will be giving him everything he wants. He won't change just because you point these things out to him. He will just use it as additional material to continue doing what he is doing. He sounds like a typical, immature teenage girl to me.
Author wakamiya Posted August 21, 2005 Author Posted August 21, 2005 Ah, thank you both so much! I didn't confront him...And I'm feeling really good right now. I think I'll continue to lurk this forum to see if I can help others for awhile.
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