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If your ex thinks you've died durning no contact should u let them know your ok?

Vanity1

By Vanity1
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Vanity1 Established Member

Vanity1

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Im doing no contact and my ex thinks something bad has happened to me.

He's been texting me saying he's worried and to just let him know if I'm ok, and he will leave me alone.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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You're not doing NC if he's still able to contact you. Block him once and for all.

 

As for his concerns about you, leave him to stew. You know you're OK and this is all that matters.

  • Like 7
CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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Im doing no contact and my ex thinks something bad has happened to me.

He's been texting me saying he's worried and to just let him know if I'm ok, and he will leave me alone.

 

Has he actually told you he's afraid you're dead?

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Vanity1 Established Member

Vanity1

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Has he actually told you he's afraid you're dead?

 

Lol no:)

 

He's texting me saying that I'm started to trip him out and that he's worried about me.

 

he wasn't around when it was most important, a month ago when I had an abortion he didn't come threw for me, and was still insensitive about it after .

 

 

Nvm. I'm not saying **** to him. End thread .

  • Like 3
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Glad you're not replying to him. But please don't end the thread until you have blocked him from contacting you.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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It isn't no contact if you contact them.. smoke signals mean contact too....

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Vanity1 Established Member

Vanity1

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I've been no contact and he's saying he's going to show up at my house because he's worried. Should I just text and say I'm fine

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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I've been no contact and he's saying he's going to show up at my house because he's worried. Should I just text and say I'm fine

 

The abuser is checking to see where his puppet went. He's not concerned about you, just looking for his attention/ego feeder. Where's Hurt? She's not kissing my feet anymore?

 

Tell him, "Stay away from my home and do not contact me again."

 

None of that "I'm fine" submissive responses. Then block him. What haven't you done that?

  • Like 6
usa1ah Established Member

usa1ah

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No way should you. Call the police if he shows up for trespassing.

 

I believe I remember your previous thread, I will go back and look, stay no contact.

 

It anything send a message stating if he ever tries to contact you again you will have him charged with harassment and get a restraining order against him.

 

I really can’t say what he is with out getting another time out from the LS police. But you deserve so much better then him.

marky00 Established Member

marky00

Posted
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Im doing no contact and my ex thinks something bad has happened to me.

He's been texting me saying he's worried and to just let him know if I'm ok, and he will leave me alone.

 

they always do this.

 

when u vanish off planet earth, it messes with their head. they don't know if they should feel guilty, sad or even regret because your offering them nothing.

 

hold NC, when someone dumps you, only thing you got left is your dignity. you want to give that up too?

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Vanity1 Established Member

Vanity1

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they always do this.

 

when u vanish off planet earth, it messes with their head. they don't know if they should feel guilty, sad or even regret because your offering them nothing.

 

hold NC, when someone dumps you, only thing you got left is your dignity. you want to give that up too?

 

I ended up writing on paper exactly what I wanted to text him back.

Edited by Hurtx10
Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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And then you blocked his number, right?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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These messages he's sending.....I'm wondering if he can tell whether or not you've read them.

MsJayne Established Member

MsJayne

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I've been no contact and he's saying he's going to show up at my house because he's worried. Should I just text and say I'm fine

 

Yep. Tell him you're fine, and also tell him you would prefer it if he didn't contact you any further and that you are blocking him as of now. And then block him.

  • Like 1
CC12 Established Member

CC12

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Yep. Tell him you're fine, and also tell him you would prefer it if he didn't contact you any further and that you are blocking him as of now. And then block him.

 

This gets my vote.

 

It lets him know that you're okay and that you're purposely not responding and it also very clearly sends the message that you don't want to speak to him. Although instead of using the phrase "I'd prefer it if..." I would use a more stern, direct "Do not contact me again."

1fish2fish Established Member

1fish2fish

Posted
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Im doing no contact and my ex thinks something bad has happened to me.

He's been texting me saying he's worried and to just let him know if I'm ok, and he will leave me alone.

 

No he doesn't. He's just looking to get his foot in the door.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Have a friend or your mother text him and tell him you're okay. Then block him from contacting you. Why are you leaving the door open for him?

  • 2 weeks later...
Dmoney28 Established Member

Dmoney28

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I'm confused. How are you in No Contact....if he can still text you. I'm going to give you some advice. I have been down this road multiple times. He is looking for you to stroke his ego, relieve any guilt with positive affirmation from you. After he feels better, you will be on that roller coaster again.

dangerous Established Member

dangerous

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OP you are avoiding the question 'why aren't you blocking him?'

 

Perhaps you still haven't let go. That's your call.

stockyoldfrump Member

stockyoldfrump

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Firstly, he doesn't think you're dead. This is 2017. If he thought you were dead, he'd search your name in google, scour the social network profiles of friends, or something of that extent to figure out if anything had happened to you. If you were dead he'd be able to find out without contacting you. If he hasn't tried, he doesn't care that much.

 

He's reaching out because he wants to keep his access to you. Feigning concern for someone is a pretty classic strategy to guilt them into a reply. At the same time, it saves him the embarrassment of admitting he cares what you're doing. It's a disingenuous framing of the very basic impulse to keep tabs on you and/or provoke a reply to stroke his own ego or soothe his own guilt.

 

If I were you, I would go with the brief "I'm fine" reply in which you inform him that you're fine and that you're blocking him. I would then block him on everything. If you want, you can be extra nice about it and tell him no hard feelings but you're blocking him because it's best for you and don't intend to have any contact with him.

 

Phrase it however you want, but any reply should consist of little more than "I'm fine" and "you're blocked." Short of that, say nothing.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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OP you are avoiding the question 'why aren't you blocking him?'

 

Because at this point, it's not about moving on. It's a game and an ego trip not to respond to him.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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