yellowrose Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Ok. Our 6 month anniversary just came and went without a peep. The Rules say it's a bad, bad thing if they don't even get you a flower or at least say something. I even said something the day before that, "I'm so glad things are going so well. It'll be 6 months tomorrow! -And I'm really happy." Hmm. We had dinner (dutch) at a take out place and tonight he's going out with his friends while I'm at home with my daughter. This is the first real dropping of the ball. I really think he just plain spaced it. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? -yr
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.. Not all guys do the 1-3-6 month anniversary thing.. Now 1 year is a biggie.. even for a guy On another note.. Don't make excuses for him.. By saying he just plain spaced you are giving him an excuse. I hope you don't do that a lot for him. Dutch after 6 months says something to me but the anniversary says nothing..
Pendawn Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 IMO most guys aren't programmed to either remember anniversaries or really understand their significance to most women. I think if there is something relationshipwise that is important to you (eg celebrating 6 months anniversary, valntines card, spending your birthday together, getting flowers on special days) you have to SAY it's important to you. Only then, if they don't try to make that thing special for you, then you have a right to think they're not trying enough.
Blackfrost Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 6 months? I don't know any guys who recognize that as symbolic of anything - and as to not blanket overgeneralize, i'm sure there has to be at least a couple guys on this earth who may see that as something special. 1 year yes, 6 months (or any fraction therewith) no. Don't sweat it this may mean something in your rules, but in his, you're blowing it out of proportion.
smile95 Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 It really depends on the guy. Example. My grandpa celebrates the anniversary every month! My BF husband never has acknowledged an anniversary w/ a gift -maybe a verbal happy ann, but no card. SOme guys are different. It means more to woman I think. I was with my ex 3 yrs and nothing was ever said by me or him. Do not take it personal.....but like it was mentioned....dutch still????
Blackfrost Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Now granted I couldn't exactly tell you on any given day what day my wedding day was on (somewhere in the last few days of February) but I can definitely tell you the day, date, and time, of exactly when I met my wife for the first time. I always buy her something special on that date. Maybe guys brains are screwed up - I know mine is always stuck full of bad 80's hair metal lyrics The world is closing in Did you ever think That we could be so close, like brothers The future's in the air I can feel it everywhere Blowing with the wind of change Take me to the magic of the moment On a glory night Where the children of tomorrow dream away in the wind of change
SoftDrink Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 i'm a female, and while i may notice the date of the occasion, i do not celebrate half-iversaries.
amberlily Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 For most men, and many women, 6 month milestones aren't really something to make a fuss over or acknowledge. Now I can see yearly annversaries being something to acknowledge. I surely wouldn't hold it against him, even though you mentioned it the day before. I would, however, have a concern about the fact that after 6 months of dating, you're "going dutch" - is that usual? Is that a mutual decision to do this when going out? I'm surely not suggesting that a guy should always be expected to pay but it seems more common to me that couples take turns paying.......that whole dutch thing seems so impersonal, particularly after 6 months. How does it make you feel? Is he a cheapskate or miserly, the type who wants everything to be fair, right down to the last penny?
Author yellowrose Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Hi guys- Thanks for all the affirmations of what I kinda already knew. I’m just being neurotic. That said, I guess it was more a case of a milestone that I was excited about because, well, I think it’s good to get excited about good things. A lot was made of the “Dutch” comment. My point in bringing that up was that it wasn’t a “date date” but another evening of us just grabbing something to eat after work. We do take turns paying from time to time, but as for “date” nights, it’s pretty old-fashioned and I think we both like it that way. It gives me a good reason to let myself feel like a girlie girl. And with all that out of the way, he found my account. So, I suppose I'll need to go elsewhere to vent or field questions & concerns. What a drag.
Author yellowrose Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 PS- Stupid books. I'm not listening to books anymore. These books are as bad for relationships as beauty magazines are for body issues. Grr.
Outcast Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Which books? "The Rules"? "He's Just Not That Into You"?
Cecelius Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Who in the world remembers their 6 mo. anniversary?
animo Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Lol...thank god you decided to drop those books you been reading... Jeez, if there is ever anything that is going to make it so the human race becomes extinct, it's all those little adolescent punks trying to make a living out of selling their bulls*** about what they think romance should be or might be to the larger crowds. If you want to read some decent books then get the ones written by authors who know a thing or two about it. I have personally read quite alot of books and the bottom line is that 98% of all books on relationships and romance and complete and utter crap, don't make a dime of sence and are frankly messing with more peoples lifes than people realize. I think you need to take it easy on all the specifics, unless you have your heart set on finding Mr. romantic, in that case, good luck weeding out all the players . If you think aniverseries are important then make SURE he knows you think they are important. To guys this sort of stuff is trivial to say the least but they will remember if they know you think it's important...
SoftDrink Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 wouldn't letting him pay make you feel more like a girlie-girl? hmmm. that's interesting. hey, whatever works, right?
Art_Critic Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I'm gonna remember my 6 month anniversary of joining LS
Author yellowrose Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by SoftDrink wouldn't letting him pay make you feel more like a girlie-girl? hmmm. that's interesting. hey, whatever works, right? That's what I said. It is what I said, right? Ugh. What a day. Who knows... We had a long talk tonight about reading people's personal correspondence online. He read everything I've posted on this site this morning.
Author yellowrose Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer He found your account???!! WTF! HOW? Said he meant to open the browser window and clicked on the e-mail icon right next to it in the dock (I'm on a Mac), then my mail opened and he saw a "reply to *blabla* post on Loveshack" message. Said he thought it may have been an online dating service or something and checked the link out when he got to work because he thought I may be cheating (??!). Then kept reading after he realized what it was. I'm mortified. What do I do?
Outcast Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Well now he knows you had a problem with it. If he doesn't make a big deal of it, you shouldn't either. Just reread your first - 'The Rules' = UGH! Now that book should be thrown out.
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