What would you do would in this situation?

[Thissillygirl]

I have been dating this guy for a year and a half and hes great I love him so much we have had so many great memories and fun times and we even talked about marriage and the future. He accepts all of me even tho im super hard to handle and i told him a lot most other guys would of left by now. HE spoils me and will do anything for me.

 

We have so much in common it was love at first sight when we first met. But recently i caught feelings for another guy. I had feelings for this guy before but he didnt have them back so i pursued my current bf and its been wonderful. But now i regained thoes feelings and he now has them back and has been pursuing me back. I told my bf about the feelings for another guy and he didnt leave he just fought harder for my love.

 

The biggest thing between me and my bf is he lives a hour away and with his job we dont get to see each other as much as we would like and this other guy lives near me and goes to my church and is avaliable when my bf is not. I can see a future with my bf but cant shake these feelings for this other guy and hes really into me now.

 

Ladies what would you do? Why am I having a hard time with this? btw i havent kissed or done anything with this other guy, where as my bf turns me on when we make out. Why cant I decide its driving me crazy

Edited November 28, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs, edit title for clarity

[Frostedflake]

What is that quote..

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one then you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

 

I almost entirely agree with this.

But I think it truly comes down to action. Are your feelings for this other guy compromising your relationship? Are you acting different with your current? Is it really distracting you or is it a passing thought?

 

If it effects your relationship then you need to leave. That is not fair to your current and if you're acting different or feel unfulfilled it's not really fair to you either.

[Thissillygirl]

I dont love this new guy just have thoes attraction feelings like a crush kinda feelings

[Frostedflake]

I dont love this new guy just have thoes attraction feelings like a crush kinda feelings

 

Then it's really not worth messing up what you have now, is it?

Plus. I would attribute most of it to the long distance and availability. The grass isn't really greener and once you give someone a reason to not trust you it's almost impossible to get it back. To be honest, I'm kinda surprised your bf is still around after your confession..

I wouldn't give him anymore doubts.

[d0nnivain]

Unless you can quash the feelings for the other guy, my advice is to make a list of pros & cons for each guy. That will give you the logical answer. However, love is an emotion & is rarely logical. I tend to agree with FrostedFlake's quote. If it's just a passing -- gee he's cute -- & then the other person is out of your mind, your relationship is solid but here you seem to be building up reasons to try with the guy who is not presently your BF. You can't stay with him just because he spoils you. A good relationship is founded upon mutual desire, love, trust & respect.

[HumanMachine]

Is this the guy? Hmmm

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/644182-girlfriend-17-months-has-feelings-another-guy-what-do-i-do