SerPundnes Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 (edited) So I met this girl from Tinder. We have had 2 dates, let me sum it all up: - We went on a coffee date, we were sitting down talking for three hours before I had to leave. - Asked her for second date, and she cleared her schedule a Saturday to go on a date with me. This time we were at her place making dinner and drinking wine. I stayed over and we had sex, I went home around 3PM on Sunday. - We have been talking some after this, but I am usually initiating the convos, unless I don't talk to her for like 2-3 days. Then she talks to me and usually just ask something random as how it is going or how this event I was on was like etc. - I have asked her out on a third date several times. Few weeks back I knew she was chilling at home on a Saturday, I asked if I should come over and make her some food, but she was tired. I asked her the following Monday to see her either Tuesday or Wednesday, but she had plans. I asked her yesterday if she had any free time for a date this week, but the whole week was busy for her. In total I must have asked her about 6 - 7 times with and without spesific dates/time. - I told her I was interested in a third date but that I got the vibe that she wasn't feeling the same level of interest, and she pretty much talked her way out of it telling me about her issues with earlier boyfriends, that she uses a long time to open up bla bla bla. But that she wants to see me again, but nothing spesific. - She keeps "flirting" with me, on Sunday I had to work late and she knew and sent me a snap "I'd rather have you sleep here with me than you working". And she mentions "next time" every once in a while, like "next time we'll see eachother I'll show you that thing I was talking about". - She is active and Facebook Messenger alot, but dosen't respond to me. And when I ask her about a date, she takes even longer to respond. To me it sounds like she has lost interest, but is feeding her ego and keeping me around, breadcrumbing me with very small crumbs .. Should I just tell her the way I'm feeling and that I'm looking for a little bit more enthusiasm? I don't have any strong feelings for her, I would just like to meet her again. I want one of two things: either that she wants to date me more, or that I just get rid of her. This whole situation is making me kinda "insecure" in lack of a better word. What do you guys think? Would really appreciate some insight here. Thanks! Edited November 28, 2017 by SerPundnes
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 No need to over-complicate it. Just ask her out again. If she says yes, good. If she says no or makes excuses or bla bla bla, time to move on.
Author SerPundnes Posted November 28, 2017 Author Posted November 28, 2017 No need to over-complicate it. Just ask her out again. If she says yes, good. If she says no or makes excuses or bla bla bla, time to move on. Thanks for your respond. If I am to move on, should I tell her? Like "This isn't going anywhere, I wish you the best of luck in life!". Or should I just keep quiet?
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 That's really up to you, and the style of communication you have with her. After 2 dates I don't think there's anything wrong with just going quiet. But if you're in frequent contact then may be better to let her know. Right after asking her out on the 3rd date is the perfect time. If she says no then you can just say OK, good luck, bye. If she makes excuses without a specific "no" then you can just say I don't think this is going anywhere, bye. 1
kendahke Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 and she pretty much talked her way out of it telling me about her issues with earlier boyfriends, that she uses a long time to open up bla bla bla If this was true, you wouldn't have had sex the second time you saw one another, so she has no problem opening up. I'd ask her one more time and if she says no, then make it the last time you deal with her. It's up to you if you want to write a script and turn in a performance. I wouldn't. I'd let the silence speak for me. She'd have to start doing some heavy lifting to demonstrate that she's got sufficient interest for me to continue.
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 She didn't say yes to a third date....NEXT HER! 1
olivetree Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 I don't see the point of asking her out for the eighth time. I would just stop responding to her, personally. 3
sdraw108 Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 I don't see the point of asking her out for the eighth time. I would just stop responding to her, personally. This. Let's be realistic here. Someone who is interested doesn't need to be asked 8 times. In fact it's actually a little embarrassing to have to ask that many times - I wouldn't do it. After the 2nd or 3rd time I would have said, "well I'll leave it to you to let me know when you're free" and then not follow up with any further contact. I suspect there's someone else in the picture and the breadcrumbs are so that she can keep you as a backup plan. 3
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