hgielhsa Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 (edited) My SO and I have been together for 8 years. It has been a bumpy road, as we found out we were having a baby three months after we started dating (he was 22 and I was 25), but we have always loved each other and worked hard to rise above our challenges. We bought a house together two years ago, we both have established careers and our son is the best kid in the world. Overall, we are in the best place we've ever been in our relationship. With that being said, I constantly feel like I am the only one who makes sacrifices for our family and it really bothers me. For example, I started getting sick on Wednesday evening. Kiddo was sick last week and it passed, so I assumed it was a virus. By Saturday, I realized it wasn't just going away so I went to Urgent Care. I have strep throat. I was miserable from Wednesday until yesterday when the antibiotic finally started kicking in. SO had to work this Friday-Sunday and his schedule is NOT flexible, which I totally understand and do not complain about (law enforcement). My son was with me the entire time I was sick except for Thursday. I felt guilty as could be because he was SO BORED. He played Xbox and on his iPad while I slept on and off and lounged on the couch. I pushed through as much as I could and of course I kept him fed. I made it very clear to SO that I felt bad and kiddo was incredibly bored during the day. I don't bark orders, but yes, I will hint. Hint hint...the kid is bored all day, so when you get home can ya entertain him? That was too much to ask of course because although this weekend was far from normal, SO carried on as if nothing was going on in his life. He got up at 3am so he could workout before work therefore, he fell asleep as soon as his butt hit the couch in the evening. There was no entertaining the child. There was no cleaning the kitchen although we had no silverware or dishes to eat out of. I'm just thinking... Why wouldn't you just skip the gym for a few days in order to put our family first? I needed him to pick up my slack. Help me, be my partner! I always bust my butt to make sure our house and family is taken care of. I feel like I make sacrifices ALL THE TIME because of his schedule, his needs, his wants. I don't mind it, but I do mind that I never get the same in return. I tried not to get pissed off while doing the dishes last night, but I did. So we argued because of course, if I express my opinion and it's anything other than "You're amazing", it's a problem. I just can't seem to get him to understand how I feel. I've had this conversation with him MANY times because it's a huge issue for me. I don't know what else to do at this point. Edited November 27, 2017 by hgielhsa
spiderowl Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I'm sorry, you are in a difficult position. It is hard to leave a marriage where there is a young child. Obviously, if you are so unhappy that you cannot tolerate it any longer, then you could look at ways you could get an income of some kind and consider leaving this relationship. Your husband doesn't sound like the kind of guy who listens or takes you seriously. You could suggest marital counselling. Is he likely to go along with that? I get the feeling he is quite controlling. Sorry to seem judgemental but if you are unable to say anything at all that might be construed as critical, then he is controlling the situation. What happens if you say you need extra help? What does he actually say about that?
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