caring guy Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Hi Maybe some of you have read my situation. I spent time dating, not taking things seriously, but the last 2 relationships, my late 20's have been my longest & have brought me depression, anxiety & pain when they end & i've always clutched at straws & hoped for reconciliation, right up to the last minute. This time she met someone else, this has never happened to me before & i can't handle the jealous feelings & thinking of what they are doing & that it should be me there instead! How can some people just easily fall back into something, like we were together 17months, staying most nights with each other & now there's another guy sharing her bed. This is something i emotionally i can't deal with, she's so used to me being there & now someone else being intimate straight after, i bet she wakes up sometimes & says my name. Does she not think of our good times & things she said about our future & imminent engagement that i'd planned (probably because i got a hint she was wanting it). We had lots of difficulties i wanted to work out, triumph through adversity. What must her kids think, they were so close to me & now someone else is there as a prospective stepdad!, it must mess their lives up! My point, is how can someone emotionally do this, i haven't had lots of relationships that were long, but she says that she can just end it & carry on being positive & onto the next guy, whilst i'm here so upset & depressed, especially as she is with another & i had my faults that if weren't there, we could be together now!
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Originally posted by caring guy We had lots of difficulties i wanted to work out, triumph through adversity. What must her kids think, they were so close to me & now someone else is there as a prospective stepdad!, it must mess their lives up! But she didn't work it out .. Kinda Telling About her kids .. they are her kids not yours .. They are hers to protect and raise the way she wants to. I am sure the kids do miss you.. But because they will miss you is not a good reason for her to stay in a relationship she has deemed no longer important to her. and kids are real tough and will rebound fine.. it most likely will not mess their lives up.. The kids still have their Mom.. It is up to her to decide who and when someone meets her children.. It's all part of being a parent. It's also the risk she has to take as in your case..Having lots of men run thru their lives is not healthy. But it is her responsibility Move on ...You will regain your mental health with time Moving on is the only thing that will help and keep you sane ..
liquidoxygen Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 ITS ALL A PLAY OF CHEMICAL MEDIATORS IN THE BRAIN !
strangelove Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I mean that.. very empathic.. perhaps im only saying to win you over to the dark side... "mm Good coke this is!" quote yoda Look caring guy.. its seriously been only a few days here. Im sure you want to win her back but its not going to happen in the state you are in. Its not about being strong or weak. We all have our moments. Its great you wanted to work out things.. but did she? The only way you can know for sure is back off.. get your own act together. And when and if she does come back around.. which somehow I think she will.. Make sure you dont mess it up. Have you done anything to work on yourself yet??
Author caring guy Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 Dr Strangelove What makes you think she'l come around? Is it that the guy she's with is only 22 & as soon as the kids start screaming & playing up, he'll want to be with someone without & his nights out as most do at that age! She says he is commited, but all i can go on is what she says & he is goiing to say that isnt he. Yesterday she wanted her key back & go for a coffee, i said is it the key you want, or to see me, she said you could send the key! So we met, too soon for me, i couldn't just chat about superficial stuff, it eventualy ended up talking about us argument & things hurtful were said, it was like 1st me to say something & then her, all bad, but it was all heat of moment stuff! I said then it best if we not meet & slowly get in contact if she wants on msn. Is the only way for possible reconciliation (what she says can't happen, like she knows the future, there is a me she loves) when 2 people can be friends & start off being as we were when we first met. You can't be friends with someone when you love them in a romantic way & they just want to be friends, it must get back to the stage like when first met!, as friends & then possible progress. And yes, i have moved forward with improving myself, i've stopped drinking, which was 90% of all the probs we had, directly or indirectly! She wanted it to work so much, she gave me warnings earlier in the relationship & wishes it was me with her now, but she says "you should have thought about that", whenever i say something about something i miss!
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