donotmicrowave Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Hi there, A crazy-ish story for you today. I (19) met this guy (21) a little more than half a year ago online. It was after a bad breakup with an abusive ex. Him and I hit it off right away. We texted, we joked around with each other, it was fun! He was even judgmental about my ex dumping me. A month into meeting him, I just said "screw it" and took to the Netherlands to meet him and his flatmates. We all had fun together, they introduced me to new people, it was nice! He cooked for me, played the piano for me, did everything for me. At night we would cuddle and, yeah, get quite touchy. No kissing or sex. After 5 days of that, I went back home. We didn't really talk that much after that. He would Facetime me at night when he had a friend over and they had no party to go to, so they talked to me while drinking and stuff. Eventually I got sick of that, as I had to work and that's the only time he would talk to me - when he was drunk. I tried to keep the conversations going, but he was just becoming distant. So I gave up. After a little while, he got the hint, and tried to initiate contact more and more again. We talked here and there. 6 months after the first meetup, I'm going to the Netherlands for work. I got some spare days between the meetings, so I crashed at a mutual friend's place. We'll call that person C. He came to give me a quick visit that day (he had gotten a haircut and had dressed up very nice, I don't know if that's related though), he invited us over, so we went later that night, though left fairly early as I was extremely tired from traveling. He invited us out the next night as well, though C and I bailed, as they were going to party like crazy. The day after their party, he took us to the local market and invited us over for the evening, as he cooked my favorite - lasagna! We went, things escalated a little bit, I had too much to drink for a lightweight, so I asked the guy if I could go and hang out alone in his room for a short while, as I was pretty sick and drunk. 10 minutes after I got there, he shows up, tells me to move from the chair to the bed so he can play the piano for me. He played my favorite songs, and when he stopped, I went ahead and grabbed his hair for a few seconds, as I was drunk and, well.. His hair is like a soft pillow. I remember he went downstairs pretty quickly after that. Some time later, he and C come upstairs, C being fairly drunk. C decides to go back alone as I was passed out and it would be dangerous to get me home in the state that we were in (we came with a bicycle, me sitting in the back of it). So everything goes quiet for a little while, as C is saying goodbye downstairs and others are leaving too. When the guy shows up, he gets into bed next to me without a shirt, just shorts. After a short while, he starts cuddling me again. He really wrapped himself around me, held my face at times, almost held my hand. Then he gets touchy again and well, I respond. I think he almost kissed me that time, I'm not sure. It just went like that for the entire night. I wake up the next morning, the house is empty, as him and the flatmates had a "birthday brunch" planned somewhere else. He had texted me as well and said that they were there. I texted him back something random, but I didn't hear from him anymore that day. The day after that (today), I'm leaving the city that we're in. I hadn't heard from him at all, so I just casually thanked him and said I had a good time. He said no problem. I don't know how I feel about all this. The first time we met, I just went with it. For some reason I can't stand being confused this time. Everyone says he acts very differently with me. When others are around, we, for some reason, get very sarcastic and we mock each other a lot (in a good/funny/friendly way). When we're alone, which was a rare thing, we were just nice and friendly. Even sweet, as he played the piano for me and other things. He heard of my concern about never seeing him and others again, so now he's texted, asking me why I think that. Mostly it just sounds like he's having fun, but some things he does are just weird. What do you guys think of this?
ExpatInItaly Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 He doesn't sound interested in being more than friends, really. I can understand him not making a move while you were nearly passed out drunk (and good on him for not doing so) but he doesn't appear to have made any moves at any other point either. I don't think I'd hold my breath for anything more than a casual friendship with this guy. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I think he's happy to romance you while you are there but he's not interested in putting much effort into a real LDR. How often can you realistically see each other based on where you live? If it's not frequent, just chalk this up to a foreign adventure & date somebody closer to home. 1
Author donotmicrowave Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 I think he's happy to romance you while you are there but he's not interested in putting much effort into a real LDR. How often can you realistically see each other based on where you live? If it's not frequent, just chalk this up to a foreign adventure & date somebody closer to home. Yeah, to me it also feels like to him it's nice and convenient to simply fool a little bit while I'm there, then sometimes flirt when I'm back home. It's a bit difficult for me as I get attached to people easily. My ego really does get a blow from stuff like this. -Microwave
Recommended Posts