adelli Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Bare with me as this is going to be crazy... In July, I got a message from a guy on snapchat. I had no idea he even existed on my Snapchat. Well, it was over a protein cookie that I had tasted that was his favorite. From there we began texting. We had texted for 2 months and not once had met each other. When he would invite me over, I’d ask if he was serious and he’d then avoid the subject. But through talking we both came to realize we want the same things in life. We were on the same page. And before I met him, I asked him forwardly if he was scared to meet me because then it’d become real and he said yes. Well, I worked at an animal shelter at the time. He loved huskies and wanted another. We had this perfect husky come in and he came and met her on a day I wasn’t there and then applied for her. The next day he had to come pick her up and I was there....this was how we met face to face for the first time. After that, we hung out maybe 2-3 times. One of those times we actually went on a date. But every time we’d hang out I’d have to grab his hand and etc. He works 12 days on 12-18 hour days and 2 days off and repeat. One day I went over after work and we hung out and we actually laid there and talked and he opened up. He told me about his crazy ex who ran him over with her car. He was in love with her. He bought a house for them. Her son called him dad. He wanted a family and everything with her. But I know she left him and 2 months later was pregnant. However, this was 2 years ago....well about 3 months ago we started having problems. That’s when I did a little of my own digging and found she had gotten married to the guy. Over the past 3 months, we’ve constantly fought, he makes me feel alone, we do not see each other, he makes no time for me. He always has excuses. But when I confront him, it’s always, “I really do like you, I’m just paranoid of this turning out like my last.” But I started pulling away because I’m getting frustrated. I’ve gone on 2 dates within the past 2 weeks and it always seems as he knows. The last date I went on, he texted me half way through wanting me to come over. He NEVER asks me to come over. I also hadn’t seen him in 2 months so I went. Nothing really changed. He acted closed off. We didn’t talk much. When I left he texted me and said I seem uninterested. But this entire time, I’ve conformed myself to live in his comfort zone. Not to push things. I’ve been waiting on him and he never does it. Well, he asked me over the next day...but when the next day came and I asked to come over, all of a sudden his parents randomly showed up....he hardly texted me all day. Which is when I began assuming there’s another woman. So fast forward to Thanksgiving, he got off early and didn’t tell me. We were leaving both of our family thanksgiving dinners at the same time. I asked to see him, he read my message and ignored me. I got upset and told him goodnight. He texted finally and said he was miserable and it wasn’t a good time. But shouldn’t that be when you want to see someone? I have no idea why I am this stuck. In 6 months of talking I have seen him maybe 5 times. No matter how much i bring it up that not seeing him is bothering me and how you make time for people you want, it never changes. It only seems to be on his time. And when I accused him of that, he got upset. I don’t know if he’s keeping me around just to have someone to talk to or if he’s afraid. If you can make time for your friends, you should be able to make time for the girl you’re interested in. Unless, he is and the girl isn’t me like he keeps saying. He says I’m the only one. He’s not that kind of guy. He’s working. But it’s hard to believe it. And now with the police academy starting for me soon, I just can’t handle him breaking my heart again. In the beginning, it seemed like he was interested. Now his actions hardly show it. We text all day everyday most the time, but he’s getting good at ignoring me a lot. It’s as if as soon as he’s off work now I do not exist. Which is when another woman comes to my mind and I assume that’s what he’s doing. But I have no idea what to do anymore.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Have you ever heard of the old saying that the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? That is what is going on here. He is consistently inconsistent with you. You tell him what you want, yet nothing ever changes. It isn't going to change. I don't know what his problem is. The fact is, I'm not sure it really matters. What should matter more to you is the fact that your needs are not being met, and that is reason enough to cut your losses and move on. When you have had enough, you'll know what to do. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 You are hardly a convenience. This is the most difficult thing I have read in a long time. You are a crutch. This guy likes the attention from you but he has no interest in a relationship. Everything he says & does screams that. Why are you ignoring it? Just leave him be. He's not over his EX. When I read this I assumed you were in high school until I got to the parts about his EX having a child & him buying a house. Still his behavior mirrors that of a teen. Do yourself a huge favor & drop this. 5 meets in 6 months is ridiculous.
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