Lobouspo Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 So recently my GF has been a little weird with me. Being short, easily annoyed. Just general moodiness. I didn't think much of it and let things go. Then all of a sudden today she took some pics down of us on Social Media. When I brought it up she got upset and said it's her social media and she can take down and put up whatever she wants and accused me of being insecure. She's right she can put anything she wants up or down. I just brought it up to make sure things we're ok and no problems. I mean if she would have just said I'm taking some pics of us down, but don't read anything into it, we're ok. I would have been fine. By bringing this up was I wrong? I wasn't mean about it or anything. What do you guys think?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Yeah, you did come across as a little insecure, accusatory. Did she replace them with others of you two? Are there other pics of you still up for everyone to see?
Author Lobouspo Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 Yeah, you did come across as a little insecure, accusatory. Did she replace them with others of you two? Are there other pics of you still up for everyone to see? Nope, she replaced her WhatsApp pic with an old pic of just her. She replaced her primary Facebook pic with the same photo of just her.
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 IMO, if she replaced them but left them on her FB photos then nothing is up but if he replaced them and then deleted them from her FB she did it to get a reaction from you. Children must play... Also.. time to have the "are you sure were okay talk" seems like this crap wouldn't have been an issue if you both were on the same page.
ShyLove Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Oh no! I was listening to a radio show last week and they had a lengthy conversation with a "dating expert" saying that your significant other replacing pics of the two of you together with an old pic of themselves on their social media is the number one sign your partner is about to break up with you Now, does this mean its the case in every scenario? No. However, you noticing a change in her mood and being short with you combined with her changing her picture could be a cause for concern in my opinion. Since you already asked her there's nothing you can really do but take her word for it, observe her actions and listen to your gut. Good Luck! 2
Author Lobouspo Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 i sense a game being played here. Yeah I almost sense she was trying to get a reaction out of me......or looking to break up. She also posted on Facebook about taking a vacation somewhere alone. When we have talked about traveling together again in the next few months.....wtf? I don't think I'm just being insecure here am i?
phineas Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Yeah, you did come across as a little insecure, accusatory. Did she replace them with others of you two? Are there other pics of you still up for everyone to see? not really. in my experience women check-out months before they dump you. they need time to line up a new BF or new place to live or whatever. Much like a guy lining up a new job at a different company. If op's gut is telling him something is wrong he is most likely right. 6
Buriall Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Yeah I almost sense she was trying to get a reaction out of me......or looking to break up. She also posted on Facebook about taking a vacation somewhere alone. When we have talked about traveling together again in the next few months.....wtf? I don't think I'm just being insecure here am i? Exactly this, youre finally putting the puzzle together my friend. Listen to your intuition you will never fail, in this case id have a heart to heart talk with her see where shes at. No need to play all these games and wasting time.. and no youre not being insecure.....shes being a coward thats all 3
smackie9 Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 You should have said....The photos are not the main thing I noticed about your behavior lately...you have been short with me and distant. If there is an issue by all means say something...but I'm not going to sit back and be treated this way, If you want me to breakup with you then so be it. I'm ok with that because I'm not putting up with your crap. 1
phineas Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 You should have said....The photos are not the main thing I noticed about your behavior lately...you have been short with me and distant. If there is an issue by all means say something...but I'm not going to sit back and be treated this way, If you want me to breakup with you then so be it. I'm ok with that because I'm not putting up with your crap. lol! After he does the above she will tell him "no I don't want to break up" then 3 days later dump him and block him from her life. 2
StephenV Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I am not one for putting ideas into people's heads, but I thought I would add something here. So, she's removing pictures of you from her Whatsapp, her IG and her FB. To me, this suggests that she has started being in contact with another guy and he's following her on IG/talks to her on WhatsApp etc, and she's trying to appear single. The fact that she became defensive when you asked her a simple question means she is hiding something. The question you asked wasn't wrong, her reaction was. I have to be honest, I would begin preparing myself for a break up. I could be wrong, I don't know her (or you) and I hate to make anyone worry, but this is what it all sounds and looks like. 2
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 No, I don't think you were wrong to bring it up. You should feel at liberty to talk about anything you want in a relationship. Her reaction was a little over the top considering how easy it would have been to just say, "I just felt like a change." Instead she made a big deal about her independence and accused you of being insecure, which gives you a pretty good insight into where her is at. Look at the facts. 1. She doesn't appear to be enjoying your company as much as she used to. 2. She is argumentative and moody 3. She is making it clear through her actions and behavior that she wants to be independent from you. 4. She is now starting to blame you for being insecure, which I'm willing to bet she will use as an excuse for ending the relationship in the end. Your options are, you play dumb while she pulls away further and eventually dumps you, or you call her out on it and she dumps you for being insecure. If she has made up her mind, you can't win either way. I'm sorry to say it but it sounds like the beginning of the end. 2
TheFinalWord Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 So recently my GF has been a little weird with me. Being short, easily annoyed. Just general moodiness. I didn't think much of it and let things go. Then all of a sudden today she took some pics down of us on Social Media. When I brought it up she got upset and said it's her social media and she can take down and put up whatever she wants and accused me of being insecure. She's right she can put anything she wants up or down. I just brought it up to make sure things we're ok and no problems. I mean if she would have just said I'm taking some pics of us down, but don't read anything into it, we're ok. I would have been fine. By bringing this up was I wrong? I wasn't mean about it or anything. What do you guys think? How did you bring it up to her? What did you say? There's been a few posts on here (if I recall) about you questioning her behaviors, such as her going into the rest room to chat on social media without you around. You don't seem to really trust her that much. Whether it is okay to bring it up or not is hard to answer. It seems like she gets annoyed when you bring up her social media to her. Normally, someone would not act like that out of the blue. Have you brought up her social media habits to her before? 1
Rachelmarie Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I don't think you're being insecure, and the way you tried to use communication to solve the issue was spot on. However, I would try to see if something is bothering her. A lot of times women have hormonal imbalances and they can cause us to act out. it sucks but its life. But maybe something else is bothering her. I would dig deep to find out because she could just be needing some extra attention.
TheFinalWord Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Yeah I almost sense she was trying to get a reaction out of me......or looking to break up. She also posted on Facebook about taking a vacation somewhere alone. When we have talked about traveling together again in the next few months.....wtf? I don't think I'm just being insecure here am i? Yikes, yeah, thinking more about this, it sounds like she is purposely trying to agitate you. Sometimes women do not want to be the one to actually break up, but will try to get on your nerves to the point that you break up with them. Its some twisted logic some women use to justify moving on from one person then going directly to someone else they're interested in. Either way, you don't really seem to trust her much so the question is do you want to invest in a relationship where you don't have trust, or is this woman worth working through whatever issues you have. Only you can answer. But the vacation thing seems like a purposeful, direct insult, especially if the two of you had plans to go somewhere together.
Author Lobouspo Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 Yikes, yeah, thinking more about this, it sounds like she is purposely trying to agitate you. Sometimes women do not want to be the one to actually break up, but will try to get on your nerves to the point that you break up with them. Its some twisted logic some women use to justify moving on from one person then going directly to someone else they're interested in. Either way, you don't really seem to trust her much so the question is do you want to invest in a relationship where you don't have trust, or is this woman worth working through whatever issues you have. Only you can answer. But the vacation thing seems like a purposeful, direct insult, especially if the two of you had plans to go somewhere together.[/quote So I'm actually at her place now. It's 11:00 PM and I can't sleep. We talked earlier. She held her ground. She said what she does on her social media is her business. The whole vacation thing she brushed me off saying she didn't mean anything by it. She said I'm just being insecure because she didn't actually delete our pics together, and our other pics are still up on her timeline. She said there aren't any issues with us, and she would bring it up with me before doing anything on social media.
Highndry Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 No, I don't think you were wrong to bring it up. You should feel at liberty to talk about anything you want in a relationship. Her reaction was a little over the top considering how easy it would have been to just say, "I just felt like a change." Instead she made a big deal about her independence and accused you of being insecure, which gives you a pretty good insight into where her is at. Look at the facts. 1. She doesn't appear to be enjoying your company as much as she used to. 2. She is argumentative and moody 3. She is making it clear through her actions and behavior that she wants to be independent from you. 4. She is now starting to blame you for being insecure, which I'm willing to bet she will use as an excuse for ending the relationship in the end. Your options are, you play dumb while she pulls away further and eventually dumps you, or you call her out on it and she dumps you for being insecure. If she has made up her mind, you can't win either way. I'm sorry to say it but it sounds like the beginning of the end. You forgot perhaps the best option: The preemptive strike where he breaks up from her, thus salvaging his ego and self esteem. 1
Highndry Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 So I'm actually at her place now. It's 11:00 PM and I can't sleep. We talked earlier. She held her ground. She said what she does on her social media is her business. The whole vacation thing she brushed me off saying she didn't mean anything by it. She said I'm just being insecure because she didn't actually delete our pics together, and our other pics are still up on her timeline. She said there aren't any issues with us, and she would bring it up with me before doing anything on social media. I hope you gave her the best sex she's ever had, because that's about the only thing that's going to forestall what's going on. 2
Buriall Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 OP, proceed with CAUTION from now on Her words don't mean jack sh*t and her actions speak something else.. like you said shes been behaving differently... 1
Author Lobouspo Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 I hope you gave her the best sex she's ever had, because that's about the only thing that's going to forestall what's going on. Haha....no sex actually. We cuddled and she asked me if everything is ok with us, and I said yes. That was about it. I hate social media. If I just stayed off like I used to there would be no issues. I told her everything is ok with us, but that is not at all how I feel.
TheFinalWord Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Haha....no sex actually. We cuddled and she asked me if everything is ok with us, and I said yes. That was about it. I hate social media. If I just stayed off like I used to there would be no issues. I told her everything is ok with us, but that is not at all how I feel. It sounds like her answer is not satisfactory to you. Yes, technically, she is allowed to do what she wants on her social media, but I do think you are allowed to ask her what motivates her to take certain actions, like removing the picture of you two and replacing it with a picture of her by herself. Let's face it, people that are very active on social media (most women) use it as a form of self-expression. So its not like her actions on there are meaningless. They reflect the image she wants to portray to her social networks. I can't help but think she did that on purpose. Is there a history of you two having issues with social media? I ask because her response seems odd to just come out of nowhere. I don't know if she just wants to prove some point, or if she is trying to send some signal to another guy she is interested in, but the fact that she cares more about proving some point to you than your feelings is at minimum a yellow flag to me. For example, if my GF was uncomfortable with a picture, etc. on my social media, I would simply remove it as I would be considerate of her feelings. Heck, I've even done that when there was a picture of the two of us that she did not like because her hair was messed up or something trivial. Why she is so defensive and accusatory is strange for someone that is in a serious relationship with you.
Author Lobouspo Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 It sounds like her answer is not satisfactory to you. Yes, technically, she is allowed to do what she wants on her social media, but I do think you are allowed to ask her what motivates her to take certain actions, like removing the picture of you two and replacing it with a picture of her by herself. Let's face it, people that are very active on social media (most women) use it as a form of self-expression. So its not like her actions on there are meaningless. They reflect the image she wants to portray to her social networks. I can't help but think she did that on purpose. Is there a history of you two having issues with social media? I ask because her response seems odd to just come out of nowhere. I don't know if she just wants to prove some point, or if she is trying to send some signal to another guy she is interested in, but the fact that she cares more about proving some point to you than your feelings is at minimum a yellow flag to me. For example, if my GF was uncomfortable with a picture, etc. on my social media, I would simply remove it as I would be considerate of her feelings. Heck, I've even done that when there was a picture of the two of us that she did not like because her hair was messed up or something trivial. Why she is so defensive and accusatory is strange for someone that is in a serious relationship with you. Thanks FW, you bring up some good points. Main issues in the past was her going to the bathroom when she got messages and being on Facebook. Like I said she didn't delete the pics. There are still pics of us on her timeline, where I'm referenced as her boyfriend. Does this change anything? Does still sound like something is off? 1
TheFinalWord Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Thanks FW, you bring up some good points. Main issues in the past was her going to the bathroom when she got messages and being on Facebook. Like I said she didn't delete the pics. There are still pics of us on her timeline, where I'm referenced as her boyfriend. Does this change anything? Does still sound like something is off? Glad to help bro. With my last GF, she would often have pictures of us together but sometimes she changed it to just herself. I didn't read much into it, but at the time I didn't have any reason to think she was talking to other guys. Well if she still has pics of you and her together and calls you her boyfriend I guess I would take her at her word. I still don't think she needed to call you insecure. She could have just said she likes that pic of herself and wanted to change it, without having to add that you're insecure. I generally don't like when a person I'm dating minimizes my feelings as it tends to shut down communication. The fact she was so sensitive about it and so harsh towards your question is a bit of a yellow flag to me. Not so much due to her social media actions, but in the way she minimized your feelings and shut down communication.
snowboy91 Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Nope, she replaced her WhatsApp pic with an old pic of just her. She replaced her primary Facebook pic with the same photo of just her. So the pictures are not removed per se, it's just the profile pics have been changed. That on its own is fine - profile pics are an individual thing, and I sometimes see profile pics with a partner as slightly clingy (for lack of a better word... will come to me later). Yes I agree that her social media is her business (it is her account after all...), but it's a form of expression that everyone gets to see, and thus everyone gets to talk about (including you). However since there are also changes in behaviour, yes I sense something odd going on. Probably best to talk to her more about it.
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