Mystyry Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I am new in town where I live and have no close local friends here to talk this over with, so I could really use some feedback right now. I am feeling quite low. I posted not that long ago here on the forum that I doubted that my boyfriend and I have long term potential together. In the meantime over this weekend, some other information regarding his substance abuse accidentally came to light. I say accidentally, but I know I have been deliberately closing my eyes to the warning signs over the past month of so. When we started dating, he disclosed he had some issues in the past, but that was done and over with. I believed him and I told him it would be a deal breaker to me. He promised to not touch the stuff. Now, I am sure everyone has different definitions of substance abuse, and he argues that his is not hard substances, but it is still a problem for me. I view it as a problem, when it is used multiple times a day, every day, and needed to fall asleep. I was clear of this opinion months ago and he promised to change. Now it turns out he was dishonest with me at least for the past month, if not before then. I found that out piecemeal by pressing him. This, in combination, with other issues we've been having make it enough for me to think we need to end this. He says I am over-reacting, that what we have is so great, that he will change. Am I over-reacting? Please help me understand. I feel that having been deceived once, when he knew this was a deal-breaker for me, it is just hard to believe in the promises to change again. I love him, but he is in his late 30s. I am ready for something serious and I find it hard to imagine starting a future with this in the middle.
HumanMachine Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 He smokes weed, you disprove of it. You’ll never be compatible. 2
Buriall Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Instead of working againts him, if weed is helping him stay in control of his emotions and pain or in this fact lets him go to sleep let him be.. This is who he is, if you disagree go your separate ways. Again it all depends on whats his situation, seems like its either he does what you ask of him or the highway.. 1
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