mhops100 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Since our breakup two months ago, my LDR ex (who decided he no longer wanted to see me) checks in at least once a week, sometimes just to ask how I'm doing, otherwise to reminisce about something that reminded him of me. I've told him this hurts me, and am otherwise polite and curt in my responses. Except I still feel guilty that I'm not keeping conversations going, or that I'm cold with someone I've only ever been warm to, and connected with. The last conversation he mentioned that he's not doing great. I realize these are breadcrumbs, but I'm having trouble understanding why he'd want to keep in touch with someone who is giving him absolutely nothing.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 He likely feels guilty for hurting you, if he's the one who initiated the break-up. So while he might not have a malicious intention in contacting you, it could be about helping himself feel better if he knows you're soldiering on anyway. Why did he end it?
springy Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 That seems a bit extreme Not really. You've told him his contact hurts you. He does it anyway. Seems like a reasonable move since he's not concerned about what you want. I guess otherwise accept that he is going to contact when he wants, and it's anyone's guess as to why.
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Blocking him is not extreme. It is an act of self preservation. If you hurt yourself & were wearing a sling, but every time you saw a certain person, that person tried to playfully twist your injured arm, you'd put up your hands & stop them from touching you after a while, right? It's the same principle. He dumped you. He hurt you. Now he keeps reaching out & hurting you again & again. Why do you keep letting him? When are you going to make it stop?
Highndry Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 He's doing it for two reasons: 1) To assuage his guilt. 2) To keep you as a backup plan in case things really head south in his life. In other words, he's using you with no care whatsoever for your feelings. 1
stillafool Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 That seems a bit extreme Only if you are interested in getting back with him.
HumanMachine Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 That seems a bit extreme Well it isn’t.
Whodatdog Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I dont understand why you are letting someone keep contact you, in a LDR, who told you he no longer wants to see you. You havent blocked him...why?
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