aryastark Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 So a guy from wher I grew up came here to visit for a vacation. We were flirting a few weeks before he decided to come and I thought everything was going to go well and we even decided that we cant really further into the relationship since we're far from each other. I've accepted that and ready to just enjoy our time together once he came here. Fast forward he came a few days ago, he decided to get a place near my work so it'll be more accessible to me. I met him the first day and everything was going smoothly, we had sex a few times, he asked me to stay but I gotta go home because I still have to pack my things since we were leaving tomorrow for the beach. I also told him I'm coming back after a few hours but I slept on him and just got back the next day. When I got there he didnt even pick me in front of his building but its alright he just told me to come up, so I did. When I got there everything just changed, he was really silent when I asked him what happend he said nothing, he's just a lil depressed. (Prior that we were chatting on messenger and I said I'm coming more earlier since Thanksgiving is coming and we can get off work early.) he just said "cool" so I said, you sound unhappy, he said "idk just a feeling a bit off". I said okay if you're not comfortable with this we can stop this; he said "nah its not that, idk". So yeah when I was there with him at the room it was just not like before, he's lying in the couch watching tv, i asked him whats wrong but he kept saying its nothing just mood swings i think. We went to the room because I wanted to lay, he said go ahead I'll follow. When he came we snuggled but he couldn't really look me in the eyes, he looked so sad. I tried to make a move but he said I want to rest, and he went to sleep. In that afternoon we decided to take the bus going to the beach, its like a 3 hour trip and all he did there was to chat and take photos, I didnt mind since I thought he was just excited to share things with his family and friends back home. When we came to the resort thats when everything turned 180. He did his own thing, went to the store by himself, always on his phone etc. Its like he wanted to be all by himself, and I felt so alone. At night when we cuddled he refused to do it with once again, I said okay and thought maybe he's really tired, the next day I asked him to get breakfast with me but he didn't respond, went back to sleep, I got back brought him food after an hour he got up but instead of saying hi to me he went to take pictures and focused on his phone again. After a few moments hes on his backpack and said im going to the pool and go to the gym. I didnt respond, he went to take pictures again and thats when it hits me, that this is enough. I told him straight to his face that "cant you just stay? Youre always on your phone!". He said okay but its obvious that hes pissed. I was waiting for him to talk to me but I got nothing, instead he went to sleep again. It went on like that the whole day I went to the beach alone while he was sleeping. In that evening he asked me to get dinner but I was too angry at him and I was just quiet altogether even in the dining table we never said a word. I was waiting for him to talk to me. I was so pissed off of the situation so I decided to buy beer and really purposely got myself drunk. When i got buzzed I grabbed him and kissed him one led to another but after that he went to the balcony and smoked cig, and then he told me "you drank too much!!!" "I said because I feel so alone you are always on your damn fone and doing things all by yourself! I thought we're here to spend time together but youre acting so weird, you were like this since yesterday I dont know what I did wrong, whats bothering you because you wouldnt tell me" and he said "so i cant talk to my family now?" I said yes you can but not like all the time i feel so ignored!" He said "stop with all this drama!" Thats when it shut off. That night he slept at the sofa i asked him 3 times to go to bed so he can sleep comfortably but he refused. All night we were separated, it was so silent and cold, and God knows I shed a tear because of what hes doing, i dont understand him. That morning when he got up i was expecting him to say hi at least but went to take pictures of the sunrise and on his fone again. I was like thats it, i got to shower and dressed. I still tried for one last time, asked him if we wants to grab breakfast together he said he already ate, then i said lets go to the beach together, he said not now. So i said "do you just want me to leave?" He said "do whatever you want" so i grabbed my bags and left. I was in the bus when i messaged him telling how i felt and he said the same thing, and "just stop talking about things you dont understand, leave if you wanna leave, i came here to escape the worries and dramas or the world". I'm really hurt though, i thought everything was good between us, i wasnt looking for a relationship, but why does he have to ruin everything? Does he have a girl back home, he didnt tell me there was, but i think shes the one chatting with all the time. A friend told me sex triggers everything and its possible that hes afraid to get feelings thats why he chose to be an ass? I want to know your opinion, because I don't really know what i did wrong.
grays Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 First of all, his behavior is awful no matter what you did. But... Im wondering how tjings went down in regards to you saying you were coming back and then not coming back. Did you call to tell him you were tired and needed to sleep or was he just left waiting and wondering what happened to you?
Author aryastark Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 First of all, his behavior is awful no matter what you did. But... Im wondering how tjings went down in regards to you saying you were coming back and then not coming back. Did you call to tell him you were tired and needed to sleep or was he just left waiting and wondering what happened to you? He knows I will be in the office, and I was even expecting him to even message me but there was nothing.
grays Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 He knows I will be in the office, and I was even expecting him to even message me but there was nothing. I'm confused. I thought you had gone home to pack for the beach?
mortensorchid Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 It doesn't matter what may or may not be causing his behavior, that is inexcusable. Who treats another person like that?! He wasn't yelling and screaming at you or others around him, but he's miserable does nothing but sprew hatred. He did a very cruel thing to you by acting that way, either out of anger, cowardice or apathy. MOVE ON. 1
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