Mabu8128 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 EX GF TEXT: Hi, I doubt you still have my number since you removed me from everything but I just need to say something. I just wanted to say I hope you genuinly hope you have a nice thanksgiving break with your family. I also hope you find happiness in whatever you do. I realize you probally dont want to talk to me but i wont lie, I was suprised to say the least that it has gone this far after all that you have told me. I wish you the best and I still hope that someday we can be friends again. I am sorry to bother you MY RESPONSE: You have not bothered me...I cared for you in such a way where for me there was no going back....I have no hard feelings in the slightest towards you and I wish the best in the world. HER RESPONSE TO THAT: I understand...I wish that I could help or change that. Anyways, I really do miss hanging out with you and i dont expect anything but if you ever just want to talk or hang out....im around. I hope you had some nice time with mickeyv:)(my dog) Ill leave you alone now I did not respond after this Did I look weak or not over it? Did I handle it correctly? I really hope she is sitting there going wtf? why does he not come running back Thoughts?
Highndry Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 (edited) Did she break up with you? ...I realize you probally dont want to talk to me but i wont lie, I was suprised to say the least that it has gone this far after all that you have told me. I wish you the best and I still hope that someday we can be friends again... This is nothing but somebody trying to sooth their own guilt. She doesn't want to get back together. Edited November 26, 2017 by Highndry
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 (edited) I really hope she is sitting there going wtf? why does he not come running back Thoughts? I doubt she thinks that at all. It is more likely that she knows she still has you on the hook. Her attempt at fishing for attention was a success because you responded so tenderly. If you want to remain in contact as friends then you went about it the right way. However, if you intended to teach her a lesson, I'm not sure it was that successful. I guess it depends on what you hoped to achieve by responding? Edited November 26, 2017 by Scarlett.O'hara 1
Highndry Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I doubt she thinks that at all. It is more likely that she knows she still has you on the hook. Her attempt at fishing for attention was a success because you responded so tenderly. If you want to remain in contact as friends then you went about it the right way. However, if you intended to teach her a lesson, I'm not sure it was that successful. I guess it depends on what you hoped to achieve by responding? I don't know how you could conclude he's "on the hook." I didn't see anything that suggested he would take her back, in fact he flat out said he couldn't go back. I d agree she was fishing, but to try to assuage her guilt. I also agree he hasn't taught her any lesson other than the fact that he's cordial.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I might agree with you but she did offer to hang out. I think that was the point of her messaging him to begin with. Exes often use holidays and other special occasions as an opportunity to touch base with an ex. I have never had an ex offer to hang out and not want to pursue things further. This is almost an open invitation to get laid. That's interesting because I interpreted the language she used as being about friendship, not about hooking up at all. Just goes to show how difficult it can be to interpret someones motives after you breakup. 3
Marc878 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 No contact means no contact. She threw out a breadcrumb and you bit. Nothing more than that. They all want to be friends bud. That's not in your best interest. Move on like she did.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 (edited) I don't know how you could conclude he's "on the hook." I didn't see anything that suggested he would take her back, in fact he flat out said he couldn't go back. I d agree she was fishing, but to try to assuage her guilt. I also agree he hasn't taught her any lesson other than the fact that he's cordial. I think a lot of people interpret any response from their ex as a positive sign, which is why no contact and blocking have become such popular tools to try an eliminate that problem. The OP was open about how much he had cared about her, so it wouldn't surprise me if she assumed she still had him on the hook in some way, just because he responded that way. His post suggests that he still might not be over her yet, so I think he needs to be careful. Edited November 26, 2017 by Scarlett.O'hara 3
Author Mabu8128 Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 i am not fully over her no but i do know that I do not want to be friends so i was hoping this message was a basic "nope not being friends but no hard feelings " type of thing.....just feel like i gave her to much "power with tht response. I also have been told tht girls wo do this will always text again...thought on if she will? i will not reply regardless
Author Mabu8128 Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 Did she break up with you? This is nothing but somebody trying to sooth their own guilt. She doesn't want to get back together. No she broke up with me
Marc878 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 i am not fully over her no but i do know that I do not want to be friends so i was hoping this message was a basic "nope not being friends but no hard feelings " type of thing.....just feel like i gave her to much "power with tht response. I also have been told tht girls wo do this will always text again...thought on if she will? i will not reply regardless That's why you block them.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 It wasn't dumb. You didn't give her more power as long as you ignored her last message and don't initiate any further contact. If someone wants to reconcile, I find the language will be slightly different. "I miss our friendship" will be, "I miss us". More obvious are, "I want another chance", "I can't stop thinking about you", that sort of thing. The romantic undertones are there. If they're not, you risk getting your hopes up and getting hurt. 2
Highndry Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 It wasn't dumb. You didn't give her more power as long as you ignored her last message and don't initiate any further contact. If someone wants to reconcile, I find the language will be slightly different. "I miss our friendship" will be, "I miss us". More obvious are, "I want another chance", "I can't stop thinking about you", that sort of thing. The romantic undertones are there. If they're not, you risk getting your hopes up and getting hurt. I agree. I think the best way to handle these sorts of "fishing expeditions" for lack of a better term is for the recipient to be direct and ask "are you contacting me because you want to try to get back together, or are you trying to be cordial and friends?" That way, there is nothing left to the imagination. 1
springy Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I think it would be beneficial to block her so these texts don't throw you off. Trust that if she changes her mind and wants you back she will find a way to get in touch. This is nothing more than an offer of friendship...which would only benefit her. :/ 1
usa1ah Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 EX GF TEXT: Hi, I doubt you still have my number since you removed me from everything but I just need to say something. I just wanted to say I hope you genuinly hope you have a nice thanksgiving break with your family. I also hope you find happiness in whatever you do. I realize you probally dont want to talk to me but i wont lie, I was suprised to say the least that it has gone this far after all that you have told me. I wish you the best and I still hope that someday we can be friends again. I am sorry to bother you MY RESPONSE: You have not bothered me...I cared for you in such a way where for me there was no going back....I have no hard feelings in the slightest towards you and I wish the best in the world. HER RESPONSE TO THAT: I understand...I wish that I could help or change that. Anyways, I really do miss hanging out with you and i dont expect anything but if you ever just want to talk or hang out....im around. I hope you had some nice time with mickeyv:)(my dog) Ill leave you alone now I did not respond after this Did I look weak or not over it? Did I handle it correctly? I really hope she is sitting there going wtf? why does he not come running back Thoughts? No you didn’t, your response was straight to the point. Then by not responding to the second text made it clear you are done with her. Now block her number or change yours so she can no longer get in contact with you. Speaking the truth and keeping the sentiment out of it is never a show of weakness.
nolove126 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 EX GF TEXT: Hi, I doubt you still have my number since you removed me from everything but I just need to say something. I just wanted to say I hope you genuinly hope you have a nice thanksgiving break with your family. I also hope you find happiness in whatever you do. I realize you probally dont want to talk to me but i wont lie, I was suprised to say the least that it has gone this far after all that you have told me. I wish you the best and I still hope that someday we can be friends again. I am sorry to bother you MY RESPONSE: You have not bothered me...I cared for you in such a way where for me there was no going back....I have no hard feelings in the slightest towards you and I wish the best in the world. HER RESPONSE TO THAT: I understand...I wish that I could help or change that. Anyways, I really do miss hanging out with you and i dont expect anything but if you ever just want to talk or hang out....im around. I hope you had some nice time with mickeyv:)(my dog) Ill leave you alone now I did not respond after this Did I look weak or not over it? Did I handle it correctly? I really hope she is sitting there going wtf? why does he not come running back Thoughts? Do you want her back? How long was the NC before she reached out?
nolove126 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 EX GF TEXT: Hi, I doubt you still have my number since you removed me from everything but I just need to say something. I just wanted to say I hope you genuinly hope you have a nice thanksgiving break with your family. I also hope you find happiness in whatever you do. I realize you probally dont want to talk to me but i wont lie, I was suprised to say the least that it has gone this far after all that you have told me. I wish you the best and I still hope that someday we can be friends again. I am sorry to bother you MY RESPONSE: You have not bothered me...I cared for you in such a way where for me there was no going back....I have no hard feelings in the slightest towards you and I wish the best in the world. HER RESPONSE TO THAT: I understand...I wish that I could help or change that. Anyways, I really do miss hanging out with you and i dont expect anything but if you ever just want to talk or hang out....im around. I hope you had some nice time with mickeyv:)(my dog) Ill leave you alone now I did not respond after this Did I look weak or not over it? Did I handle it correctly? I really hope she is sitting there going wtf? why does he not come running back Thoughts? Do you want her back? How long was the NC before she reached out? How many times did you guys break up? First time?
basil67 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I don't see this as being about her wanting you back. I also don't think that she's fishing to see if she's still got you on the hook. I think she simply wanted to convey the message that she held no hard feelings towards you. And yes, she would be OK with hanging out with you as mates. As for your answer, I don't think there's a correct or incorrect response.
Been Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 BS. She texts hey basically I know you don't want to talk to me but hey I'm going to text you anyways- so why text someone other then to ease your guilt? All this BS about wishing someone to be happy is dumb- if you wronged someone leave them alone because YOU caused them to be unhappy and now your concerned about if they are happy?? Makes no sense. SILENCE is the biggest thing you could have done. She was just curious about you and you took the bait.
usa1ah Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Do you want her back? How long was the NC before she reached out? How many times did you guys break up? First time? I think it’s clear from her last response that she doesn’t have any interest in renewing things.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I agree. I think the best way to handle these sorts of "fishing expeditions" for lack of a better term is for the recipient to be direct and ask "are you contacting me because you want to try to get back together, or are you trying to be cordial and friends?" That way, there is nothing left to the imagination. It's a shame that more people aren't direct and honest in that way. It would save a lot of time.
Author Mabu8128 Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 Do you want her back? How long was the NC before she reached out?[/QUOT It had been a week
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