Lillyb Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks now (he's my new boyfriend). We were friends for a month before we started dating. The first week of dating we started kissing and cuddling, and I let him touch my boobs over my shirt. The second week we were more touchy and then the third week, I gave him a handjob along with head. Is this a bad thing that we are going so fast? I personally have a high sex drive so I can't help being horny around him, but I don't want to lose the excitement and spark we have and I want us to be long term... What should I do in the sake of us lasting for a long time? Should I slow things down sexually? Originally we wanted to take things slowly, but that plan failed... We did not have actual sex yet and he did not finger me or give me oral, but he did see me naked.
BeeT Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks now (he's my new boyfriend). We were friends for a month before we started dating. The first week of dating we started kissing and cuddling, and I let him touch my boobs over my shirt. The second week we were more touchy and then the third week, I gave him a handjob along with head. Is this a bad thing that we are going so fast? I personally have a high sex drive so I can't help being horny around him, but I don't want to lose the excitement and spark we have and I want us to be long term... What should I do in the sake of us lasting for a long time? Should I slow things down sexually? Originally we wanted to take things slowly, but that plan failed... We did not have actual sex yet and he did not finger me or give me oral, but he did see me naked. Well it's hard to say now, since you've already done stuff beyond kissing, it's very hard to go back. You could still delay full sex if you wanted to though. I would advise alternating the times you see each others. Sometimes you hang out in public and have nothing more than a few chaste pecks/hand holding. And then maybe once in a while he gets something more. Make him work for it..
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 Whether and when to have sex is a personal decision. For some what you describe as fast may be slow. Others may see your pace as promiscuous. What they all think is irrelevant. It's what you & your partner think about each other. If you own your behavior & are at peace with your interactions with your new BF, everyone else can jump in a lake. It's when you waffle & let somebody else set your morals & boundaries for you is when things get weird
Gaeta Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 You already had sex, at the moment you have a body part inserted into someone else's body part, it's sex. You might as well have intercourse now. You have sex or you don't, there is no in-between. 2
No_Go Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 Yeah, it is always funny to real dilemmas like - 'I gave him handjob and bj but I'm taking things slow with sex' - :lmao: Manual *sex* and oral *sex* are apparently not sex in some books... You already had sex, at the moment you have a body part inserted into someone else's body part, it's sex. You might as well have intercourse now. You have sex or you don't, there is no in-between. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 We value more what we have to work harder to attain.
joseb Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Yeah, it is always funny to real dilemmas like - 'I gave him handjob and bj but I'm taking things slow with sex' - :lmao: Manual *sex* and oral *sex* are apparently not sex in some books... I know right? To me, a bj is actually a more intimate act than intetcourse. 1
Steve51 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 I normally moved physically fast in my relationship. Like on the first date. That is because I tended to want relationships with women I was sexually attracted to. At least then if it did not work out, I got sex out of it. Better than endless dating and finding out that you are not sexually compatible after a few months. My results were one cheating ex fiancé, one cheating live in girlfriend and one wife of 45+ years. The first and last were virgins until they met me. All three ended up discovering they are bisexual. I never entered into a relationship with a girl that I had not had sex with first. Worked out great in the long run for me. I think it is a crap shoot no matter what you do. I did try dating some girls without being very physical and they ended up being duds in the bed when it became time to take that step. On the other hand, my ex girlfriend was great in the sack but needed more than one man could give her. She needed to have sex and be wanted by every man she met.
central Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 How you feel about it and are comfortable with is what matters. For me and the women I've dated after age 18 (which was very long ago!), your pace would be glacially slow. If you don't have much experience with dating and/or sex, then your pace is probably right for you, for now.
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