kangaroo Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 I feel I'm being slowly ghosted if therein such a thing. Seeing a guy, 7 dates so far in 5 weeks, we're both busy people. Was all over me like a rash in the beginning, then it settled a bit but now he takes ages to reply, not as complimentary, sometimes he doesn't reply. Ive backed off a bi, leaving it more up to him. Im confused though. Last date (Monday) was good, although we had a bit of a blip in that we went for our first dinner out together (previously just drinks) and we went out early, I assumed it was so we could spend more time together that evening, but he dropped me off at home and didn't stay around. He thought I was pissed off but I was more confused than anything and definitely not pissed off as I had a great time (he said the same later). I asked him straight out if he wanted to go out again and he said yeah definitely. So he mentioned next week sometime, which is cool with me. But he's been getting more distant (as per above) Am I reading too much into this or is he just busy and secure enough in that we will meet sometime next week so he doesn't have to do much texting etc now? When we are together it is great, really great. so this is confusing me when we are apart. Help!
smackie9 Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 He dropped you off early because he had another date......when people are distant. it's because their attention is on someone else.
Sara1989 Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 Declining contact is a bad sign I am afraid. I say the majority of 'relationships' end at the 6 weeks-3 months stage, it is nothing bad on you. I would step back on this one and start dating again.
BeeT Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 Keep him in the loop, but do not text him or reach out to him at all- if he wants to take you out again, believe me you will hear from him. Otherwise...you have your answer. In the meantime have fun meeting and dating new people, it'll help you to focus less on this guy.
Zippy2000 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 He dropped you off early because he had another date......when people are distant. it's because their attention is on someone else. Stick to the facts please and stop putting ideas into peoples heads. There is NO EVIDENCE of this happening. 1
act00 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Did he ever tell you why he had to cut the evening short? On a Monday night, did he have to be up early for work in the morning? One would think that if time was limited, it would have been voiced while planning the date, and why did you feel you couldn't ask when he was dropping you off? Yes, it is possible he had another date lined up. It's possible he needed to get to bed early. It is also possible he doesn't feel the need to communicate the way he used to in the beginning or stay up late because you two are a "thing" now, and he doesn't have to work as hard, and it's perfectly normal to settle into a more livable routine after a few weeks. Did you ask him later what happened? Was he vague and secretive? Why wasn't something like this brought up in advance? "I have work early, so it will have to be an early night. Is that okay, or should we plan another day?" I like the term "slow ghosting." It certainly fits the slow fade that happens when dating. I can't say what's going on with this guy, but if you're the only one initiating texts and prompting the dates, you need to take a step back and stop. He'll reach out to you if he's interested.
Author kangaroo Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 Did he ever tell you why he had to cut the evening short? On a Monday night, did he have to be up early for work in the morning? One would think that if time was limited, it would have been voiced while planning the date, and why did you feel you couldn't ask when he was dropping you off? Yes, it is possible he had another date lined up. It's possible he needed to get to bed early. It is also possible he doesn't feel the need to communicate the way he used to in the beginning or stay up late because you two are a "thing" now, and he doesn't have to work as hard, and it's perfectly normal to settle into a more livable routine after a few weeks. Did you ask him later what happened? Was he vague and secretive? Why wasn't something like this brought up in advance? "I have work early, so it will have to be an early night. Is that okay, or should we plan another day?" I like the term "slow ghosting." It certainly fits the slow fade that happens when dating. I can't say what's going on with this guy, but if you're the only one initiating texts and prompting the dates, you need to take a step back and stop. He'll reach out to you if he's interested. He had to be up early for work, not as early as previous job tho (and he'd still stay late with me). He said his niece was being dropped off at his, which is feasible. We had crossed wires when I left him. He had said when we planned the date that earlier would be better, I assumed earlier so that we would get more time together as we have both mentioned we wanted more time. I wasn't aware it would be so early until he dropped me off. I guess he assumed I knew it would be an early drop off. He did say he would come in if I wanted him to, I said no as he had things to do. Seems ok now. he has gone quieter but he is very busy at work at the moment. Seems he still wants to meet next week which is good. Ive focused on other parts of my life and not thinking about him so much. He's still managing to Instagram a fair bit to others, but I'm taking my mind away from that. I'll let it run and see if he makes the effort.
Carlotte Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 From my experience, yeah there is such a thing. You may meet one/few times but if he is already backing away that is not a good sign.
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