What am I so afraid of?

[Slice]

Hi everyone. Happy holiday season!

 

I just got out of a year-long “thing” with a guy. “Thing” is the best way I can describe what that foolery was. I won’t go into detail here but I can answer any questions that may help.

 

I’m pretty certain that I wasn’t in love with him. The whole time, from the beginning to the end, I knew that whatever we had would eventually end and that we weren’t right for each other. It was impossible for me to see him in my future.

 

So why is the thought of getting over him and finding someone new so terrifying to me? It’s almost like I’d rather stay in whatever we had than get out there. I’ve tried meeting other guys and I just end up running away. I feel like I’m not ready to move on from him even know 100% that I should.

 

I’ve always had a fear of change so I’ve placed this as a possibility. HOWEVER, before I met him, I was in a relationship with another guy for 5 years. We broke up and I kid you not, I was ready to “get out there” and experience other guys immediately. I got involved with the new guy a month or 2 later.

 

I’m very annoyed with myself right now. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of but I want this fear to die.

[d0nnivain]

It's the holiday season. From Thanksgiving through Valentines' Day you will be bombarded with images of happy couples. I used to feel like some kind of reject because I wasn't on board with this Noah's Ark mentality.

 

Keep telling yourself what you know -- he wasn't right & eventually you will find somebody more compatible. Eventually you will believe yourself.

[Highndry]

Hi everyone. Happy holiday season!

 

I just got out of a year-long “thing” with a guy. “Thing” is the best way I can describe what that foolery was. I won’t go into detail here but I can answer any questions that may help.

 

I’m pretty certain that I wasn’t in love with him. The whole time, from the beginning to the end, I knew that whatever we had would eventually end and that we weren’t right for each other. It was impossible for me to see him in my future.

 

So why is the thought of getting over him and finding someone new so terrifying to me? It’s almost like I’d rather stay in whatever we had than get out there. I’ve tried meeting other guys and I just end up running away. I feel like I’m not ready to move on from him even know 100% that I should.

 

I’ve always had a fear of change so I’ve placed this as a possibility. HOWEVER, before I met him, I was in a relationship with another guy for 5 years. We broke up and I kid you not, I was ready to “get out there” and experience other guys immediately. I got involved with the new guy a month or 2 later.

 

I’m very annoyed with myself right now. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of but I want this fear to die.

 

I think more details are a must. There's no context without them.

[Zuzupa]

Maybe it is the change thing. If you have been in a serious relationship before you'll know what 'love' feels like. Maybe it's just the getting used to not having someone by your side? If they are around a lot for a while and suddenly aren't it's a bit daunting.

[stillafool]

It sounds like you have jumped from one relationship to another and have never spent time alone just to know you CAN be alone. Why not let this guy go and try being without a man in your life for a while.