WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I was over at a friends house when I found out that my ex (who totally screwed me over) was thrown out by the guy she left me for. But it was her birthday so I decided to be nice and wish her a happy birthday. She textes me back saying, "Thank you, at least you remembered." So I asked her why her boyfriend threw her out and she told me that I was wrong and the info I got was wrong. Well her sister also told me that her boyfriend told her to kick rocks, so I am sure that it's the truth. She sounded pretty down about everything and her birthday was a washout from what I got, so I was stupid enough to ask her if she needed a shoulder to cry on. Now apparently showing emotion is a bad thing with her. Because she stopped talking to me and got wasted on Tequila with her Mom. Now I know she doesnt care about me (Duh, she left you for the same guy 4 times). See the thing is, I am going to Iraq soon with the Army, and I'm scared that she will be on my mind too much and I will get killed or worst hurt someone else. She left me for that guy only a week or two ago and I'm pretty hurt by it. Now ok, I understand I should of seen it comming... but I wanted to believe that she would chose me over him. The guy just got out of jail for christ sakes!!! She told me she loved me and I liked the sound of that even though she never showed it. I miss holding her close while we slept together (and no Im not talking about sex either!!) I miss her companionship even though there wasn't much of it.... I miss her sooo much and it ****in sucks because I should hate her. She obveously hates me and doesnt care and Im stuck with the feeling and emotions of love towards someone who doesnt want it or (in my opinion deserve it). WTF is wrong with me? I must be emotionaly disabled or just plain ****in stupid. Why was i hurt that she stopped talking to me when she hasnt talked to me since that prick got out of jail? Someone please tear my heart out, I dont want to feel this anymore. I want to come back alive, not in a body bag because I was thinking of her.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 If you can handle it then come clean with her. Be honest and tell her how you feel since you're soon leaving for Iraq. (Stay safe!) You can't control what she feels, thinks or does...It is hard to see the one you love be with somebody else, especially when the somebody else is not a good person! I don't know what else to tell you except get your closure before you go so you won't be distracted, down and sad. Hope this helps abit...Hey, read no foolin's thread, the long guided walk to no contact. If it isn't on page one, check out page two in the coping section. That thread has helped many. Take care of yourself.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 Thanks I appreciate your help.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Anytime. Try not to beat yourself up. You're not stupid!! Right now you're listening to your heart and the heart isn't ready to move on and let go. So, tie up the loose ends, as painful as it will be it is something you have to do. Once done, don't look back, just stay in the now and don't let past memories haunt you...Yeah I know, easier said than done! Keep posting though and take it day by day.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 What happens if she wont be straight foward with me like so many times in the past?
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 That is what I mean by only if you can handle it. Okay, let me ask you something. What answers are you looking for from her? Let's say she pours her heart out and tells you that she did love you but right now she just doesn't feel it for you anymore...How will you feel? Crushed or relieved? Happy that you got to be in her life for a while or down because she is over you. If she won't give you closure, you need to do it on your own. That is the problem with closure - You want it, but it may not come to you the way you'd like. Just be prepared for anything - Don't expect anything, so that way you won't be disappointed. Make sense?
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 I would rather be told that I'm not loved, than be told that I am over and over, but then tossed asside like a old rag. I understand that she shows she doesn't, but I need to hear it from her lips. I just want to hear the painful truth. Not be lead on.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 I dont expect her to give me the satisfaction of closure. As a matter of fact, I know she wont do me that little bit of dignity that I offered her so openly and willingly.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Well, when and IF you talk to her, just be ready. Be confident and secure with yourself and feelings. You don't want to hurt your heart anymore than necessary. I just hope by talking to her it doesn't lead to more questions and/or confusion. Just know though at some particular time you both felt something and it was special. Don't dismiss that, k.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 Did she really? Thats the part thats killing me inside.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 While the two of you were together, you must have had some good times?? Hopefully you did... People come and go in and out of our lives...Some stay and some go. But memories, what you learned from the experience, good and bad, stay forever. Try to take the positive out of it. YOU made a difference in her life for a little while. She seems to not have her crap together and is unstable in a sense of committing and staying with one person. She is up and down, not respecting you, so really maybe you're better off at the end of the day not to ride the emotional rollercoaster. Somehow you need to get over her and deal with the pain. You're only hurting yourself right now, know what I mean?
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 Do I ever. It will be nice to go and get away from this soap opera stuff.... i just want to come back on my own two feet, not in a bodybag if I have a say in it.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 That's a step. Not wanting this drama in your life. It's just exhausting and you need to be in a good frame of mind, a strong place. So don't let anybody, including her, pull you down! Vent it out, get angry and just know that many on here understand your pain and frustration. But you have to sort this out and move past it all.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 20, 2005 Author Posted August 20, 2005 I did as you sugguested. I called and she picked up and hung up. So I texted (because I have a blocked number) and explained to her that I wanted to see her. She said, "let me wake up and i'll text u back k" I asked her to be honest and to tell me if she was really going to text me when she woke up. She said, "iam tired my eyes dont want to stay open. So once again she gave me the run around on my last day that I get a chance to talk to her in person. Why am I so dissapointed? Why does it still ****in sting like it's the first time? Why can't I learn a god damned lesson?
pippen_2k Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Dont worry about it mang! We all learn the hard way, and soon you will realise that these litlte text messages and phone calls only screw you up. After a while you will get tired of hurting yourself and you might even get angry. Once you get over to Iraq you will have other things to think about, and she wont consume your mind like she is now.. Give it time bro
lamar_84 Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 hey man i knoe exactly how you feel. My ex left me for another guy too. Im in the Navy stationed in Japan. I thought coming over here would help me get over her. Bad mistake because I hate it here but im stuck here for another 2 yrs. I look back at it and see how dump I am for letting it get to me so much that i left the country. Keep your head up. I wish you the best of luck!!
sanne Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 playing the back and forth game will only wear you down until you have nothing left. gather what dignity and pride you have left and leave the situation alone. you are clearyl dealing with someone who is quite immature if you ask me, and not worthy of your time or energy. you can sit there and feel bad because she won't talk to you, or you can accept things how they are and move on with your life. i have a feeling you will choose the latter option. best of luck.
Mr.P Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 My ex confessed on Wed that she still has feelings for me even whilst she is now dating a complete b4st4rd. We broke up 7 weeks ago which wasn't my fault (her words) and she started dating him 6 days later. She knows what his reputation is but decided to go for it anyway. Anyhoo, she asked me for lunch on Friday, I stupidly agreed to do so and we got on ok. I see her again today and she's with him. Great. How can a girl tell me she still has feelings for me then is quite happy to be with him right infront of me??? Girls will take you for a ride, they are all a nightmare !!!
Mr.positive Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Don't let this cloud your judgement when your over there. You need your focus as much as possible. Train hard and focus on what your doing over there thats my best advice to you.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Well, I tried. I texted her today and she told me that it was ok to go see her. So I get there and shes gone. So I cal her and she says shes on the way to a friends house, but wont tel me where. So I waited and left. As soon as I left I found out she caled three times. So I called her back and she told me to wait there, she was on the way. She called me back 10 minutes later to say meet her at Denny's. So i go to Denny's and people were around and so were her sister and her sisteres boyfriend. I didn't want to talk with them there so I asked to speak in private. She said she had things to do then she would call me. So 3 hours later I called and she said she would call right back. That was two hours ago, and now her cel phone is off. I texted her with what I had to say, and I guess thats that. I told her I loved her no matter what she did to me, and that I would carry her in my heart forever. I also wished her the best of luck on what ever road she chooses in life and that I hoped she turned out to be the person I know she could be. I tried right? I blew off my whole family today to take care of this one thing and I ended up with nothing as usual. It really ****in sucks.
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 I want to thank everyone who posted. It means alot to me even though I dont know you all on a personal level. It will be a while before I can post again, and hopefully when i get back I won't have to post at all because I won't have a problem. LOL. But thanks for eveything, I honestly appreciate.
karatekid Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 WhatShldIDo - Sometimes when I read your posts I don't know whether to laugh or cry. like the one where your a mechanic and got canned for being emotional. I'm kidding, I feel horrible for all you been put through. Its hard to believe that people are so heartless that they can toy with your heart. Nothing is worse than being blown off and ignored etc. Just be honest even if it is negative. You set yourself up a lot of the time but love makes us to stupid things. I'm a karate instructor and I teach respect and courtesy to my students. And I can't even get "respect and courtesy" form the person I love the most. Yet she claims to respect more than anyone. Then leaves w/out saying much and will not talk to me. It sucks! She once said "your everything I want to be". Now I not worth speaking to.Our situations are different and I'm just in a pissed off mood right now.I hope it doesn't ruin you for future relationships/I hope the same from my last situation. When your mind clears, try to learn a lesson from this. Thanks for the posts
Author WhatShldIDo Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Ya I gave up on the mechanic dream. I decided that I needed a job that would get me out of here for sanitys sake. So the military was a good choice. Plus I get to start off where I left off. I think this is the best way to solve my problem.
Recommended Posts