Physx Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 So, one of the guys that my ex was cheating on me with contacted me last night and let me know he has an STD. Said it is a treatable one, but regardless, of course I was furious, and so I reached out to my ex to give her a piece of my mind. I wasn't harsh. Actually, I feel ashamed, because I think I acted like a pushover. I basically said it was bad enough that she cheated on me, but now because of her sleeping around, I probably have an STD. Of course she started claiming once again that she wasn't sleeping with any of the other guys she was dating while we were together (as if that makes it any better). The texts went back and forth, me telling her how messed up I felt the situation was, and her denying ever sleeping with any of the other guys (even though she got caught dating at least two other guys behind my back). Eventually, I ended up telling her I missed the friendship we had and miss having her in my life. I told her I would be fine being just friends and nothing more. While her "read receipts" indicated she read my texts, she never replied. Not sure if it was because I made it clear I am seeing someone new, or if she has no interest in being just friends. I feel so humiliated and ashamed. I feel like I am pathetic and desperate. I am sure she thinks I wanted to be more than just friends. Hell, I can't even rule out the possibility that deep down, there still is a part of me that does want more than that too. Regardless, I can't trust her and as such know it could never work. I am thinking the best bet at this point is to just leave it alone, right? I was a bit tipsy last night and as such, almost wanted to apologize and tell her to disregard everything I text her. However, I feel like that would most likely make me look even more pathetic. I am thinking the best way for me to make it clear to her what I said last night was a mistake is to simply go back to no contact at all, right?
HumanMachine Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 You should feel ashamed. You went from being angry at her for potentially giving you an STD to offering her friendship? Seriously? Block her and do not message her again!! 4
Author Physx Posted November 24, 2017 Author Posted November 24, 2017 You should feel ashamed. You went from being angry at her for potentially giving you an STD to offering her friendship? Seriously? Block her and do not message her again!! My problem is I am way too forgiving. I am trying to be understanding of why she did what she did (long story) and really do miss having her in my life, as she was a lot of fun. However, after all she did to me, I don't think I could even look at her, let alone spend time with her. You are right, best bet is to just block her. I don't think there is anything I can say today to really fix what I said last night. Best to just walk away with my tail between my legs and take it as a lesson learned.
CaliBabe Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 Bad move. You look like a total pushover and a beta male. Desperate, weak pushover is not sexy. Women like and respect alpha males. You called her over devastating news only to offer her friendship? The moment you offered her friendship and "miss the friendship" she knew she still had you under her thumb. Seriously stop and walk away with whatever dignity you have left. You need to realize any mistakes or pain after this point is entirely your doing. Stop! 2
Highndry Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 I had to look at your other thread to refresh my memory of your situation and my only response is one of shock. You were only with her a couple months and she was cheating on you the whole time while lying about it, then only copped to it when she was caught red-handed. Now, you likely have an STD from this mattressback, yet instead of calling her out on it you went all milquetoast and told her you miss her and would be fine with just a friendship? Good lord...
Author Physx Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 I know, I know. It was very stupid on my part. After I really, really thought about it, I gave her a very brief message to follow up on it. I made it clear me and some friends had way too much to drink that night, and that after I really processed all that happened, I don't care to be friends with her. I told her I need people in my life that I can trust, made it clear I am deleting all contact information I have for her, and asked her to please do the same. I will most certainly be adhering to the NC from here on out, but didn't want to leave things as me being desperate, lol. What I was attempting to do was show a casual attitude about having lost her, showing such little concern that I was fine with just a friendship and didn't want anything beyond that. However, I know very well it came off as way too forgiving and desperate. I think I did the best I could as far as making my thoughts clear and making it clear it WILL NOT be happening again.
Author Physx Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 Oh, and I had found out that next day that the guy who told me about the STD wasn't being entirely honest. There were some holes in his story, and it does seem like she was being honest with me when she said I was the only guy she wanted a future with, but she was so afraid she was being cheated on that she kept these "backups." Just sucks, as I know the only chance we could ever fix it is if she voluntarily chooses to cut off the other guy(s) and comes back with a VERY sincere apology. I know I may sound very stupid even considering the possibility, but I am 39, and in my entire life, of all the women I have ever dated, this girl blew all of them out of the water as far as our chemistry. That's why it made absolutely no sense to me that she was cheating and why I am still mind-blown. However, I know very well no matter how things turn out, my best bet is to stick to NC from here on out now that I made my feelings clear. If she tries later on down the road, I'm not even sure I could forgive it. At this point, I need to focus on me and focus on moving on.
Marc878 Posted November 26, 2017 Posted November 26, 2017 Cmon man, block her and move on. Why are you wasting time on this? 2
HumanMachine Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 I always seem to have to most exciting, fun, lust fueled chemistry with the crazy chicks. That’s how they get through life.. reel in the next idiot that falls for the facade. 1
Author Physx Posted November 27, 2017 Author Posted November 27, 2017 Yea, I sacked it up and blocked her. You are 100% right, complete waste of my time. You are absolutely right humanmachine... they love to reel us in. I am not going to fall for that bs again. 2
sdraw108 Posted November 27, 2017 Posted November 27, 2017 Also, you say you are seeing someone new, so it isn't really fair on the new girlfriend to be contacting the ex that you still have buried feelings for.
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