you_can_not_see_me Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 I m a single guy whose been completely unsuccessful in dating. I m very cautious by nature and I generally avoid approaching women unless I am certain in my mind the girl is interested. As you might suspect this has resulted in me only making my interest known to a few women through the years (10-12 women in total), but I was ultimately turned down in one way or another. In spite of my discouraging results, I don't actually think I m generally unattractive to women, in fact I believe there are a number of girls including some of the ones who turned me down that were actually physically attracted to me but my awkwardness and lack of dating experience turned them off. Anyway I m asking for some sound advice for an dating inexperienced guy like myself on a few areas: 1. Where's the best place to meet single women? I have previously only tried with girls in my college classes, but my recent classes no longer have that many women and in many cases the girls in my classes are already taken. so some advice in this area would be appreciated 2. What are some good ways of approaching and indicating my interest to girls I m interested? This is the hardest thing for me, I can fake being outgoing sometimes, but I really can't show a girl I m interested without it coming out in some awkward overly emotional way. The very thought of hinting at a girl I like her romantically illicit shame in me even though I know I shouldn't be feeling this way.
girlinNYC Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 1. The best places to meet single girls are usually bars (or nightclubs if that's your scene) however nightclubs attract one night stands more than anything. All depends on what you're after. 2. In terms of indicating interest; eye contact, subtly complimenting what she is wearing/physical features - keep it gentlemanly like complimenting her eyes or hair, nothing about her body as that comes across as disingenuous to some women. If you hit it off beyond that give her your number, that's the clearest way after you've broken the ice. Nothing shameful about any approach if you're a gentleman about it. Good luck 1
kassy Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Have you tried online dating? Why not add that to your in person dating. How about joining some meet ups too? Meetup.com I would say show interest sure but it's often less awkward to ask them out on a date to indicate interest after a certain level of rapport. My main advice would be don't worry about rejection. We all get rejected. But just give things a try. Dating like most things is something you get better at over time. By better I don't mean become a player. I mean be able to give a fair representation of who you really are.
joseb Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 I m very cautious by nature and I generally avoid approaching women unless I am certain in my mind the girl is interested. As you might suspect this has resulted in me only making my interest known to a few women through the years (10-12 women in total), but I was ultimately turned down in one way or another. . How did you make your intetest known? You say you were certain in your mind they were interested, what made you think that? How we're you turned down?
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 You will have to get rid of your awkward cautious nature. Try things out of your comfort zone and force yourself into situations where you have to socialize/talk to girls. Exposure therapy is the only way to go.
BaileyB Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 The older that I get, the more that I have come to realize that life is about taking risks... you may feel safer not to take the risk, but you are missing out on all the fun... As Wayne Gretzky says, you miss 100% of the shots you do not take. Now, I'm not saying that you should take unreasonable risks... I'm just saying, don't be afraid to take a risk and be rejected. Having dated a lot of men before meeting my boyfriend, I came to learn that dating is more about rejection than meeting the love of your life - get comfortable with it and learn how to brush it off, because it may happen often. And that's ok. Good luck to you! Try and have fun with it...
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