dk321 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 (edited) I have an crush on a girl/lady at work, we work in different departments but cross paths as the workplace isn't that big. I've been in the current location for about 10 years and the last half of that has been part time whilst studying, before recently changing departments and becoming full time again. Now i see her around a bit more. I think she could have been at the workplace for a similar amount of time. I also had a rocky ltr for about 9 years. Throughout the years, we may have chit chatted occasionally, like when an work event has popped up where we're on same duties/location or if I've bumped into her on the bus. Sometimes we say hi to each other, sometimes we don't say anything, a couple of times she may have said something kind of jokey/testy-ish and I reply the same. I've never been good at reading woman really or noticing signs. Not that she's necessarily giving out any signs. I have no idea if she would be into me or if she's in a relationship, I did see her speaking to a tall guy when crossing paths once. I would say looks wise I would say she has got the edge on me... she's just so stunning! to me. I'm about the same height/little taller which is a negative for some woman. In my new department I know a older lady who knows her and I sometimes speak to another guy who works with her, I'm not sure about fishing for info as it might get back to her. I felt we kinda locked eyes one time recently, but it may have been my imagination / accident or wishful thinking lol These are my thoughts for now, a bit of a ramble, but felt I needed to get it off my chest and hopefully some advice. Edited November 22, 2017 by dk321 1
alphamale Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 ask the older lady who knows her if she is single. if she is single and available ask the older lady to set up a lunch for you three. the other option is to email the girl you like and ask about something work related. see how she responds and move accordingly. the third option is to just walk up to her and ask her to eat lunch with you in the break room. the fourth option is to do nothing and end up alone and bored. 3
Lamartine Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Could you maybe set up a group lunch and invite her to come? That way you could get to know her in an environment that is appropriate and not intimidating. I know a lot of people say workplace romances are a bad idea. I, however, think that workman, undertake right circumstances, be a good place to meet like minded people...it just has to be approached slowly an appropriately. I met my late husband at work. 1
Lamartine Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Please excuse my autocorrect fails: I think work CAN, under the right circumstances, be a good place to meet like minded people. 1
mortensorchid Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 I wouldn't go there if I were you. Getting involved with someone you work with (dating or friendship) outside of the workplace is risky. You need some space between you and your coworkers, they are not friends. It's easy to think that coworkers are friends because you spend more time with them then you will anyone else. It's better if you keep to yourself - be nice, not too nice. Don't share a lot of things about yourself with them or they will use them against you somehow. Dating no exception to it, it could be even worse. I only say this because I have been burned by those I have worked with in both of these areas. I know much better now, but not after being stabbed in the back. It's only for your own protection. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 I wouldn't go there if I were you. Getting involved with someone you work with (dating or friendship) outside of the workplace is risky. You need some space between you and your coworkers, they are not friends. It's easy to think that coworkers are friends because you spend more time with them then you will anyone else. It's better if you keep to yourself - be nice, not too nice. Don't share a lot of things about yourself with them or they will use them against you somehow. Dating no exception to it, it could be even worse. I only say this because I have been burned by those I have worked with in both of these areas. I know much better now, but not after being stabbed in the back. It's only for your own protection. My eyes are bugging out of my head at how much I wholeheartedly disagree with this post. Some of my VERY best friends were made at work! I'm self employed now and work from home by myself and what I miss SO much is those relationships.
alphamale Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 I wouldn't go there if I were you. Getting involved with someone you work with (dating or friendship) outside of the workplace is risky. You need some space between you and your coworkers, they are not friends. It's easy to think that coworkers are friends because you spend more time with them then you will anyone else. It's better if you keep to yourself - be nice, not too nice. Don't share a lot of things about yourself with them or they will use them against you somehow. Dating no exception to it, it could be even worse. I only say this because I have been burned by those I have worked with in both of these areas. I know much better now, but not after being stabbed in the back. It's only for your own protection. concern noted but the fact remains that many couples meet at work. it remains one of the best places to meet a mate.
Author dk321 Posted November 24, 2017 Author Posted November 24, 2017 (edited) ask the older lady who knows her if she is single. if she is single and available ask the older lady to set up a lunch for you three. the other option is to email the girl you like and ask about something work related. see how she responds and move accordingly. the third option is to just walk up to her and ask her to eat lunch with you in the break room. the fourth option is to do nothing and end up alone and bored. Asking the older lady could normally be an good option, but the older lady I work with is quite hip and is very involved in gossiping and her moods can change very easily and drastically. She knows practically everybody, but I'm not sure if she would know her status. hmm.. email, I don't really have a work reason to email her. I might have to give a 'reason' some thought. Like I say, I'm not sure if she would even be interested. She's quite well known/popular around our workplace as her department is sort of front of house. I think I should at least try and find out if she's in a relationship first. But bringing her up with people that know her or know of her is quite a random topic as there's no reason to really bring her up in conversation. I tried it with the guy she works with that I know yesterday, but that was an open and close answer and our conversation moved on. Also with lunch at the workplace, I never see her eating there. I think it may be because her office is right there too. I have been in a few ltr so not really used to chasing women. Edited November 24, 2017 by dk321
kendahke Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 I have an crush on a girl/lady at work, we work in different departments but cross paths as the workplace isn't that big. I've been in the current location for about 10 years and the last half of that has been part time whilst studying, before recently changing departments and becoming full time again. Now i see her around a bit more. I think she could have been at the workplace for a similar amount of time. I also had a rocky ltr for about 9 years. Throughout the years, we may have chit chatted occasionally, like when an work event has popped up where we're on same duties/location or if I've bumped into her on the bus. Sometimes we say hi to each other, sometimes we don't say anything, a couple of times she may have said something kind of jokey/testy-ish and I reply the same. I've never been good at reading woman really or noticing signs. Not that she's necessarily giving out any signs. I have no idea if she would be into me or if she's in a relationship, I did see her speaking to a tall guy when crossing paths once. I would say looks wise I would say she has got the edge on me... she's just so stunning! to me. I'm about the same height/little taller which is a negative for some woman. In my new department I know a older lady who knows her and I sometimes speak to another guy who works with her, I'm not sure about fishing for info as it might get back to her. I felt we kinda locked eyes one time recently, but it may have been my imagination / accident or wishful thinking lol These are my thoughts for now, a bit of a ramble, but felt I needed to get it off my chest and hopefully some advice. Don't poop where you eat. Don't bring coworkers into this--that's how gossip gets fastracked and everyone will be in yours and her business and she may not want anyone's nose in her business.
alphamale Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 Don't poop where you eat. the reality is that many people do
Mystyry Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 Don't poop where you eat. Second that. For every time you heard that a workplace relationship ended in a happy marriage or ran its pleasant course with an amicable break up, there is 100 cases of that going very very wrong. It is not worth it. There are plenty of people, who you could be crushing on or attracted to waiting outside of the gates at your work. It just happens that we spend the majority of our day at a workplace and things like these develop. Suggest you put yourself out there, go out with friends, meet new people through events, volunteering, etc. 1
smackie9 Posted November 24, 2017 Posted November 24, 2017 You better ask about company policy when it comes to dating coworkers first. If you like her grow a set and ask her if she would like to grab a coffee sometime. That's how you will know if she is single or not, or if she is game. That is how its done. 2
phineas Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 I don't ask women out at work. it's gotten ultra liberal to the point where if a minority or woman complains about you to HR you are out of a job. not worth it. that said i'm more concerned by a man over the age of 12 using the word "crush" to describe a woman he's interested in. 1
kendahke Posted November 25, 2017 Posted November 25, 2017 the reality is that many people do And that doesn't make it a smart thing to do.
Author dk321 Posted November 25, 2017 Author Posted November 25, 2017 I don't ask women out at work. it's gotten ultra liberal to the point where if a minority or woman complains about you to HR you are out of a job. not worth it. that said i'm more concerned by a man over the age of 12 using the word "crush" to describe a woman he's interested in. That's a point. I don't usually use the word crush, I was just trying to keep the title a little shorter and different than 'I like a woman at my workplace'.
Author dk321 Posted November 25, 2017 Author Posted November 25, 2017 Second that. For every time you heard that a workplace relationship ended in a happy marriage or ran its pleasant course with an amicable break up, there is 100 cases of that going very very wrong. It is not worth it. There are plenty of people, who you could be crushing on or attracted to waiting outside of the gates at your work. It just happens that we spend the majority of our day at a workplace and things like these develop. Suggest you put yourself out there, go out with friends, meet new people through events, volunteering, etc. Yeah, that's very true. I probably just need to get out more.
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