You're lovely and beautiful, but I don't want a relationship with YOU

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

Basically...

 

Why would an ex, who lost feelings. Tell me he thinks i'm a lovely person and beautiful... but we won't work out. I find this so hard to understand. He knows i'd have him back. Is he lying to me and doesn't really think this but wants to spare my feelings? Why would you dump somebody... jump back on a dating site to find their replacement... yet still check in with your ex now and again to see 'how they are' and tell them they think this?

 

If I thought somebody was lovely and beautiful... i'd stay!

[HumanMachine]

Keeping his options opens until he finds a suitable replacement. Why haven’t you blocked him?

[d0nnivain]

Some people check in & pay compliments to ease their own guilt about hurting the person

 

Moreover simply because somebody has good qualities does mean they are a good fit for you.

 

My EXs are all great guys. They are handsome & smart but there is something about all of them that makes me know I can't have a long term relationship with them. One didn't "believe" in marriage. One was bi-polar. One was insecure, always thought I was cheating. Two were alcoholics. One wanted a traditional stay at home wife to have kids & not challenge him (we met in grad school so it's odd that he thought I'd give up all my education) My point is they are not bad guys; even the drunks have good hearts but that doesn't mean I should have stayed with any of them.

[stillafool]

My goodness there are a lot of lovely and beautiful people who get dumped every day for whatever reason. It takes more than that to have a healthy relationship.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I think d0nnivain is right yet again, some people check in and pay compliments to ease their own guilt about hurting the person.

 

I've done it before.

 

You can still care about someone and no longer be in a relationship with them.

 

At the same time, I do understand how it might come off as confusing and even hurtful particularly if you're still pining for him. If that's the case, perhaps it's best to let him know that you need NC for now. There is no shame in needed space to heal and move on before you can think about being friends with an ex.