Eternal Sunshine Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I started seeing someone new (only 3rd date tonight). I am physically attracted to him but I am not sure if there is enough of a connection otherwise for it to go long term. Anyway, I really want to sleep with him and it will likely happen tonight. I am going over to his place for dinner. I usually don't have sex this early so... What do I do after sex? Do I get up and try to leave and see if he stops me? It's obviously easier for me to just stay over but I am worried that's not "assumed" and he may be expecting me to leave. How can you tell?
2much4 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I wouldn't do that. Just stay (if that's what you want to do at least). If he asks you to leave..... you pretty much have your answer whether he's in for "the long haul" or not. 4
Purepony Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 Just go with the feeling I’d say ..? It’s usally pretty obvious if someone doesn’t want you around after ... I usually ask dumb questions like “what time you work tomorrow “ “how dat is your drive from here” haha
TheTraveler Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I started seeing someone new (only 3rd date tonight). I am physically attracted to him but I am not sure if there is enough of a connection otherwise for it to go long term. Anyway, I really want to sleep with him and it will likely happen tonight. I am going over to his place for dinner. I usually don't have sex this early so... What do I do after sex? Do I get up and try to leave and see if he stops me? It's obviously easier for me to just stay over but I am worried that's not "assumed" and he may be expecting me to leave. How can you tell? 11 thousand posts on this website...and you're asking us what to do after sex at someone's house? 13
guest569 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I would just assume ?? I like to snuggle and actually sleep together
CryForNoOne Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 11 thousand posts on this website...and you're asking us what to do after sex at someone's house? Cut her some slack. She obviously checks into Lacuna after every relationship... 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 Eternal, this may be too late, idk. But, think about this. You're about to give a man your most intimate possession and you're wondering if he'll let you use his bed for one night? No offense. It's just the irony of it. 7
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 22, 2017 Author Posted November 22, 2017 11 thousand posts on this website...and you're asking us what to do after sex at someone's house? I don't really have ONS or casual sex. Every time I did it was obvious that we are heading towards a relationship and the guy said something like "pack an overnight bag". This one is a shot in the dark. I'm treating it as casual/ONS scenario.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 22, 2017 Author Posted November 22, 2017 Eternal, this may be too late, idk. But, think about this. You're about to give a man your most intimate possession and you're wondering if he'll let you use his bed for one night? No offense. It's just the irony of it. I had brazillian done yesterday. It would be a pity for it to go to waste 3
guest569 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I don't really have ONS or casual sex. Every time I did it was obvious that we are heading towards a relationship and the guy said something like "pack an overnight bag". This one is a shot in the dark. I'm treating it as casual/ONS scenario. That doesn’t mean you have to kick each other out right after the deed. 3
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I'd plan to leave. Sex is one thing . . . sharing a bed is something else all together. It's a week night. It takes me a long time to be able to sleep -- as in get some rest -- with a new person. I wouldn't attempt a 1st sleep over if I had work in the morning. You say it's "easier" for you to sleep over. I say it sounds way more difficult to get dressed for work in a new, strange place -- to be rushed . . .ugh. Or to then have to go all the way to your house before heading too work, on top of little sleep. Sounds awful. On a non-work day, fine . . .slumber party it is & you can just go home in the same clothes 3
SunnySide0418 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I'd plan to leave and if he asks you to stay great.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 3rd date was always a magic number for me. Ladies almost never wait longer for sex. No worries there. I think you should prepare for either scenario, stay or go. Play it by ear. After you do the deed, see how he reacts. If he gets out of bed, suddenly acts busy, or says something about having to get up early, he might not want overnight company. If this happens, you should excuse yourself and go home. If he stays in bed with you, relaxes, cuddles, whatever, he probably wants you to stay. Still wouldn't hurt to ask if he wants you to stay at this point. I also want to say that if he invites you to his place for date 3, has sex, and wants you to go home, he is not looking for a relationship with you. This. I also think the bolded part is worth noting. Have fun and be safe! 1
olivetree Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I agree with leaving. Don't worry about what he wants, worry about what you want. I would get a terrible night's sleep at a nearly stranger's place, and my sleep is important. 1
iVisa Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 If you only want to have a sex, do what you feel. But if you want to have a relationship, wait for a moment, when you will feel so comfortable, that staying will be obvious. 1
smackie9 Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 offer to make him a sandwich after....nothing gets a man like through his stomach. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 23, 2017 Author Posted November 23, 2017 So sex was amazing. We did it 3 times and none of them were in bed No sign of ED with this one. Once we finished with all the sex, it was 1am and we were lying on his living room floor and he was telling me about his childhood and was very cuddly. So I just stayed. Around noon, he sent me a brief flirty text...Hard to tell if this is pump and dump scenario. 2
rightondude Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Around noon, he sent me a brief flirty text...Hard to tell if this is pump and dump scenario. You will have your answer by tonight.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 23, 2017 Author Posted November 23, 2017 You will have your answer by tonight. Still hard to tell. We had plans for this weekend before the sex happened. He asked me if we are still on for the weekend after the 2nd round of sex. But he hasn't re-confirmed or mentioned it since. He is initiating texts but seems a little distant. Oh well, trying not to over-think. I just want the repeat of amazing sex
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Glad it was everything & more than you wanted. My personal philosophy -- everybody gets a communications break on major holidays because you have no idea what family or personal drama they may be dealing with. (I was crying & so upset last night I managed to throw up). 1
act00 Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Agreed, you can't get too wound up over holidays and major stressful times like finals. People get busy and stressed. He's initiating texts, so I don't know where to put the "distant" comment, or if it's your own insecurity. He's initiating texts. Keep yourself grasped on that and not how you think he "should" be responding. Focus on that he's maintaining contact and you enjoy each other. If he's a dud, you'll know soon enough, but so far so good.
Kamille Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 Is it a holiday in Australia? Regardless, don't overthink it. He texted, ergo, this is not a pump and dump. Please find a way to relax, not become anxious just yet. This is only 3 dates. Glad you had fun ES! 2
MidwestUSA Posted November 23, 2017 Posted November 23, 2017 (edited) Is it a holiday in Australia? Regardless, don't overthink it. He texted, ergo, this is not a pump and dump. Read my mind! Norfolk Island celebrates it, but on the last Wednesday in November. AFAIK. Maybe it's changed. Edited November 23, 2017 by MidwestUSA 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 2, 2017 Author Posted December 2, 2017 No thanksgiving in Australia! So this ended up being 2 times pump and dump...We en ded up spending another day & night together last weekend. Sex was great but we don't have much in common. We kept running out of conversation and he seemed tired and disinterested in me except for the physical. Nobody made contact after the second time...I'm feeling really worn out by dating. This is it for me for this year. I may revisit it again in 2018 but a big part of me just doesn't want to bother ever again.
LoverOfDance Posted December 2, 2017 Posted December 2, 2017 @EternalSunshine You shouldn't have slept with him. You wanted more from this guy yet you went ahead and did something you knew could potentially ruin things. I know it's hard sometimes but you have to learn to be patient. All you can do now is own your choices and choose to do better next time. I wish you all the best. 2
Recommended Posts