Alo2008 Posted November 20, 2017 Posted November 20, 2017 My ex made contact to reconcile which was mutual for me as well. After some time spent together and some talking, I’ve learned that she feels very numb and is pushing everyone she loves away. This includes me, her family, and close friends. Her actions half the time make me feel unwanted and unloved. She says she doesn’t know why she does the things she does. Because I love her, and everyone has emotionally down times, I am trying my best to reach out to her. I don’t feel obligated to stay, rather I am choosing to because I want her in my life. The reason we broke up was because my episode of depression strained our relationship, and I feel that she is going through some similar things. The only difference is that she is simply emotionally unavailable due to the pain she’s experienced from people hurting her and leaving her life. Do you guys have any advice as to how I can approach her and improve things?
basil67 Posted November 20, 2017 Posted November 20, 2017 You can't help her. But a psychologist could. The best thing you can do is encourage her to seek professional help.
Author Alo2008 Posted November 21, 2017 Author Posted November 21, 2017 I know that is an option, but I’m here to see what other ideas everyone else may have. I’ve already gone the route of openly telling her my feelings, and that’s when she proceeded to tell me how she felt numb and like she was pushing people away. I told her that pushing people away is the last thing to do, and that I’d know bc I did that too. After that conversation, she exclaimed that she loved and wanted me but she feels like she can’t care because of mistrust of me and friends and family. The following days have been better since now we text each other good morning/ goodnight, and that’s progress to before, but there are times where she’ll ignore me for hours still. Do I let this run it’s course or are there any ideas for a course of actions to take?
Author Alo2008 Posted November 21, 2017 Author Posted November 21, 2017 Any advice? I’m just trying to get some insight.
HumanMachine Posted November 21, 2017 Posted November 21, 2017 Any advice? I’m just trying to get some insight. Basil hit the nail on the head. She needs professional help.
basil67 Posted November 21, 2017 Posted November 21, 2017 What have you, friends and family done to lose her trust?
Author Alo2008 Posted November 22, 2017 Author Posted November 22, 2017 From an early age her father left her life after being incarcerated. Her mother and step father can be very dismissive towards her feelings and make her feel like she’s a bad person when in reality she does so much for their household. I personally neglected her feelings and needs while going through depression. There are times where she lets herself be vulnerable but she tells me that she just finds herself pushing to not care when she knows deep down she does. She’s kept all that pain in. I’ve told her that she needs to let it out, and I’ve given her space. I’m just wondering if there’s something else I can do to help or if patience is all I can do for now.
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