Fresh break-up [To be updated constantly]

[manfrombelow2]

Long Distance Relationship. She is with a badly sick husband she doesn't love (she told me this herself). She already has 2 kids. She is economy independent.

 

She has a very kind personality but also a very weak mind (easily to be persuaded, manipulated and doesn't know how to protect her opinions.)

 

I am 10 years younger than her, and I am staying in Europe for up to three years for my studying.

 

Even when in Asia, we lived in two different cities so we only met twice in real life.

 

The sex between us was insanely good (she told me many times), which her husband was never able to give her.

 

Everything went well (she loves me and I love her, very much!) until last week, when in not more than 12 hours, she suddenly changed her mind with a long text saying she wants to end everything because she has so many responsibilities back home, that she has a sick legal husband and two kids that she must care, and that she accepts "a boring with no love" life to make her parents happy (yes, this is a common mindset in our Asian country, like a culture thing).

 

And finally she asked me not to contact her ever again.

 

But still I tried, I forced her to pick up the phone. We talked, I made her laugh that night, we even kissed each other goodnight.

 

When I thought we successfully made up, the next day she persistently wants to break up again.

 

For a weak girl, I have never seen such determination and coldness in her before. I felt no more love or emotions in her words, like she was in total rational (left brain) mode the whole time.

 

Especially when we had plans for her to fly to Belgium this Christmas with me.

 

(See next post)

[manfrombelow2]

1/ She said to me she never had any feeling for her. "He loved me, but I never get myself to love him, and I feel guilty" was exactly what she told me.

 

2/ They seperated for a few years (they lived in different houses). And when this guy got sick, his girlfriend kicked his ass, and he crawled back to Jane, and now Jane is taking care of him (How can you let someone who you don't love live in your house? If you care for his health due to humanitarian reasons, fine, you can go visit him or something. But again, this is an Asian way of thinking.)

 

3/ Me and Jane always talk about how we are going to marry after I finish my studying here. I NEVER forced her to divorce the poor bastard, and I NEVER put any pressure on her.

 

4/ After the phone call between her and my mom, today I sent her a long angry letter explaing logically how bull**** her reasons were (mostly pointing out that the online-sex thing between us was mutual, not something I forced her to do, and that she lied). => I should have kept my mouth shut to maintain the NC, but I failed.

 

(See next post)

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

You should consider having this moved to the other woman/other man thread.

[manfrombelow2]

Really? Sorry because I am new here. But it was indeed a breakup.

 

You should consider having this moved to the other woman/other man thread.

[ExpatInItaly]

Getting involved with a married woman is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't matter if she loves her husband or not; she still isn't able to have a real relationship with you. Your fatal error was assuming she could.