Heidiollie Posted November 18, 2017 Posted November 18, 2017 (edited) Hi. I have a big decision to make. My boyfriend and I moved in together this year. It has been good for our relationship in some ways but it's draining me financially and even emotionally. I am only 21 and he's 19. He's been moved out of his parents since he was 17 years old. I just moved out this year. I find myself visiting my family a lot because I am usually lonely. He works nights and I work mornings. I always find myself stressing out about school. I want to start nursing but it's gonna be so much money and I don't have that money. My parents would let me move back home, they really want me to. So it would make life a lot easier for me to live home without paying rent and groceries. He always complains about not making enough money as well and it's making me doubt us living together now is gonna end up good. I feel that I should just move out and he should too and we should just save and finish college and then move in together after school. He doesn't feel that way though. He wants me to stay and live with him. It's hard to move out without him supporting my decision because I feel that I'm doing something wrong. Im afraid he will cheat or break up with me if I leave. Or maybe move far away because the city we live in is expensive. But if I stay, I feel like I will always be living in an apartment. I also feel held back. I always clean the apartment and make food for me and him. I feel like I am married already and I just want to travel and study. I love him so much and it's so hard to move out and let go. But I am not happy. I know my heart wants him but it also wants to be free and be happy. I love sleeping and cuddling with him every night and hanging out with him. It is fun living together but my head is smarter and telling me to leave to save up money. How do I handle this situation? He says if I move out his parents won't let him move back in so I am worried about him too Edited November 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
carhill Posted November 18, 2017 Posted November 18, 2017 Welcome to LS. IMO, it's normal and healthy to have such thoughts and resultant discussions at this stage of life. Pair bonding chemicals are strong and if this is your and his first experience with living together in a romantic situation it's equally healthy to feel the pull of that connection even in the light of practicality and other pulls, like the freedom one you mentioned. Myself, I've long thought young people should live on their own before doing the couple living together thing. Enjoying their freedom and accepting the responsibility for self-sufficiency. If you're still in college and don't feel ready yet for full self-sufficiency, that's fine. Since he's been on his own since 17, he has the skills to survive. Sure, it may not be easy or comfortable all the time but that's what teaches life lessons. Myself I'd seek the path that promotes self-growth and still provides opportunities for dating. If two people want to be together, they figure out a way. If that pull isn't strong enough to overcome the current challenges, that's OK too. You and he gave it a shot. There will be a lot of that in life.
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