Andrew21 Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 We just came back from a 2 months trip to Europe last week where we were just the 2 of us together and it was fine but now that we are home again I have a lot of work and we can’t see each other a lot. She complains that I don’t text her as much as before, this week I have been busy so I text her every 7-8 hours. Is that a long time for her to wait a text?
olivetree Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 After being together 24/7 (or nearly) for 2 months, she is probably finding it hard to adjust to getting a text from you every 7-8 hours. For some people, every 7-8 hours is a long time to wait, for others it's not. Talk to her about it and see where her problem lies. It could be like what I said about adjusting which is making her feel unloved. 1
normal person Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 We just came back from a 2 months trip to Europe last week where we were just the 2 of us together and it was fine but now that we are home again I have a lot of work and we can’t see each other a lot. She complains that I don’t text her as much as before, this week I have been busy so I text her every 7-8 hours. Is that a long time for her to wait a text? There's no "right" answer, it depends on the person. I'm not a big texter, I work all the time, so unless it's time sensitive I don't respond to most texts I get until night time. So your response times sound totally reasonable to me. The girl I date now is the same way, so it works out well. Your girlfriend seems to be on the opposite end of the spectrum. It's not so much a question of irrationality as it is one of compatibility between you to. You text one way and she texts another way. You either figure out a solution that you can both deal with, or if it's really that big of an issue (hopefully it's not, but you never know these days), move on from each other.
Gaeta Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 She is experiencing withdrawal from being so long full time with you. Be nice and make an effort to touch base with her, it will get back to normal slowly. It's something people experience after vacations, or a week away together or even long weekends together. I know I do, after a week away with my boyfriend I find his absence difficult and I am used to not seeing him for days. She's not being difficult, it's adjusting back to life. Your gf probably doesn't know how express it to you. 3
act00 Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 I don't think it would kill you to put in some extra effort in texting mid-day or calling, and I would combine this with a conversation about your communication style and hers. You both have to meet in the middle somewhere. After being together 24/7 for a huge chunk of time, there is an adjustment, and you waiting all day before you spare a moment to say anything to her is making her feel insecure and hurt. She feels like she's losing you and you don't care. You can take some time out of your busy schedule to shoot her a text. Things will settle into the new normal.
JEG88 Posted November 17, 2017 Posted November 17, 2017 Talk about expectations for communication, and what would work for both of you and your schedules. Mutual compromise is the name is the game.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 17, 2017 Posted November 17, 2017 I can't imagine having any kind of withdrawal after I have spent 2 months with someone. I would be thrilled to finally have some alone time again. I also can't imagine having a "you need to text me more" talk. I don't see the point of forced communication and texts. As you see OP, people are different. Your girlfriend is more like the other posters. 2
GemmaUK Posted November 17, 2017 Posted November 17, 2017 I can't imagine having any kind of withdrawal after I have spent 2 months with someone. I would be thrilled to finally have some alone time again. I also can't imagine having a "you need to text me more" talk. I don't see the point of forced communication and texts. As you see OP, people are different. Your girlfriend is more like the other posters. Ditto for me. I would see it as a good thing, having my space back after an intense period of time spent together. I assume that you'd be perfectly fine with responses from her of 7-8 or 12 hours, 24 hours also at this point in time. The thing is though you are dating her, not me, not Eternal Sunshine, nor any of the other posters here so her feelings on this matter just as much as yours do. As long as you are bearing her feelings in mind (which she has clearly expressed to you) as well as your own then you'll be making a little bit of extra effort I assume(?) - two months together 24/7 is intense and her feelings matter to you, yes? To be fair to her it doesn't sound like she is asking too much from you in this transitional period after the intense time spent together. Relationships involve two people and sometimes compromises are required. 1
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