kinder Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 SURVEY FOR THE GUYS - YOUR FIRST LOVE Do you guys out there that ended up being the dumper of your first love ever think about her a year or two later? No matter what the situation was for breaking up or what happened after it ended. I mean the first girl you lived with and loved and then all of the sudden fell out of love and dumped her. Someone that you were with for a few years.
Merin Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Sorry I'm not a Guy... BUT I still think about my First Love... and I dumped him... he was the first Guy I had sex with, lived with and thought I was in love with... when I think about him now, I think WTF was I thinking back then?! then I think he still owes me money then I think how happy I am that I'm no longer with him LOL but thats just me....
NYCmitch25 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by kinder SURVEY FOR THE GUYS - YOUR FIRST LOVE Do you guys out there that ended up being the dumper of your first love ever think about her a year or two later? No matter what the situation was for breaking up or what happened after it ended. I mean the first girl you lived with and loved and then all of the sudden fell out of love and dumped her. Someone that you were with for a few years. WE ALL ALWAYS WILL!! AND we all will always remember the 2-5 people that we felt got away.
elijahBailey Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 The truth is that I'll probably never forget. Sometimes circumstances dictate the outcome. Everything fell out of place by the narrowest of margins, and that's probably the reason why, in my quiet times, I go back in time and think of the 'what ifs'. And it's been 14 years since; I guess the counting will never cease. I never truly subscribe to the thing called 'fate', but sometimes you wonder....
Sal Paradise Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Of course you will think about someone you thought you loved. Everyone does. But most people also think about old friends, people they hated, old pets etc... Its only natural to look back on your life and to examine how you got from there to here.
lostinmymind Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 It's hard to forget the first person you were in love with. Your first love is always the most innocent because you think you will be with that person forever. Then it all goes to hell and love hurts. When you fall in love the first time you don't know this type of pain exists, but now you do. It forces you to be on increased guard for the rest of your life, I think. You will always be happy and be in love again, but it will never be like the first time. That being said, of course you think about your first love. For most it is one of the most influential experiences that shape them as an individual. You can't just delete your past! (Unless you are some psycho bitter person.)
april Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 This is soooooo timely! I went out, then saw on my call display that Bryan had called - but left no message. It's been 10 years!!! I'm stunned....
hurtingandconfused Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Yep I think of her often. Except she was the dumper.
TnT Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Yeah i agree that the first love shapes the future lovers u experience in some way shape or form. I broke up with my first love after 5.5 yrs, we lived together etc etc... but u know we are still friends, and i think about him. But i dont think about getting back with him or the "what ifs" cos i know the reasons we broke up. He still tells me that he would take me back and that he thinks about me etc etc, but i am not going back.. the past is the past... i aint one to travel back in time.. he he he. But yeah, thats life, we all think about the ppl who were in the past and what they are up to or whatever. I had a good girlfriend in high school who i wish i was still friends with. It hurts when i think we were so close and it all ended for a stupid reason, but thats life u know. Everyone moves on, i have new friends now who i would put my life in their hands!!!!
jadedjessie Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 i aint one to travel back in time.. Me neither. The past is the past and there's a reason it's done. Even if we could have everything back that we wanted back, nothing would be the same, because we are all different people now. Former loves will always be on our minds. I think it's safe to say that you will always wonder about "what could have been." But as much as you miss and love that person, there's a reason it ended, and you are better off without them. It's perfectly normal to still feel love for them, but too much has changed to go back. The first love also has a huge impact on our lives, and we always look back on things that greatly impacted us as people. The pain is incredible. The lesson learned even more incredible than that. You just have to remember what went wrong so you can possibly prevent the same mistakes from happening again. It's still painful for me to think of my first love. It ended much sooner than I would have ever liked. Sometimes that's how it goes though. It was only a month after my first love dumped me that I met a new guy, and I'm still with him now. Things happen for a reason. Whether you're a skeptic or not, you have to admit, not everything is a coincidence.
Iluvsiamese Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 At what point would you consider the thoughts about the first love or ex to become an obsession? I occasionally think about exes, but not very often. Once I got past the initial pain of the breakup, I realized that they weren't really the person I thought that they were and not the person I wanted. There are no residual feelings there for any of them. I learned from my first major relationship that going back is usually counter-productive. The thing was that nothing really changed and opinions etc. were the same as before and so the same problems continued to crop up. All I was doing was wasting time and causing myself lots of extra pain for the privilege. Guess I was fortunate to learn this in the first go round rather than in later relationships. So while some incident may bring them to mind, there is no emotional attachment or sentimentality there. Guess I am weird??
reminiscing pain Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 I lost my first love 30 years ago, and it still hurts. Every once in a while (once or twice a year) something reminds me of her, be it a song or a smell (yes, a smell) and my heart just drops. Now maybe it was the way things happened, ( she dumped me while I was away for 9 mo., picked up with a friend of mine who she later married) or because I was almost at the point of culminating our relationship, ( I was going to ask her to marry me when I got back home) but to this day there's times when I cry over it. We were together 3 years. I really have had no contact with her at all since then, but I have friends who say they see her once in awhile. I really don't think I'd like to get back with her ever again, but there's always the "what if" that's running around in your thoughts. It's funny, in writing this, I'm remembering the last day I saw her, Christmas day 1975, I got home from my 9 months training at 7:30 AM, had breakfast, went to her house and brought her all her stuff that I had, picked up my stuff. I remember she gave me a box of letters that I had written, I threw it up in the air as I left and said I wrote them for you, not for me to remember you, whereupon I left, she cried, asked me to kiss her goodbye, said she was so sorry to hurt me this way. I replied that I had already kissed her goodbye, have a nice life with ****. Then I walked off. Never have I felt pain that hurt like that. Needless to say, it took a good year and a half before I even got another GF, and I never put myself in a situation to be hurt that way again.
Iluvsiamese Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 Do you think it matters whether you were the dumper or the dumpee? I mean, when it comes to remaining somewhat emotionally connected. Do you think more about the ones who dumped you than the ones you dumped? If so, is this due to the pain you went through or because you did not get closure? Are men different about this from women? I still seem to be the exception here. I have no emotional or sentimental connection to past loves, whether it was by mutual consent, I got dumped, or I dumped them. Unless wanting to strangle counts, lol. This is because my ex remains a thorn in my side and continuously creates havoc. If I could prove it, I would see the weasel in jail for the money that he stole from my mother, an alzheimer's patient. Unfortunately, I am stuck with him due to the kids which is one of the ways that he keeps things brewing. China would not be far enough away..........
Outcast Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 I have no longings for anyone from the past either. What's done is done.
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