is getting a date that hard these days

[loony]

Someone said you sound too negative and that's true. Everything is boring, difficult, sucks, is not worth it, is too expensive, etc.

 

You should try to find a hobby, something that distracts you from girls and makes you a bit interesting. I'm not sure if I should be so blunt but I'm afraid if I sugarcoat it and say it too nicely you won't understand it. Your conversations are horrible. I'm getting bored reading them. And why do I get bored? Because you have nothing interesting to say. Get a hobby and experience and learn new things you can talk about. If you have done something interesting at least you know you will have something to talk about. Right now it's just plain small talk that won't interest anybody and you're nervous because you don't know what you're supposed to say. That's because you have nothing to say. Sounds cruel but you obviously have no real hobby or any other interests but finding a girl. Well, finding a girl is a long-term project. You're the project you're offering to these girls. If you have nothing to offer, people won't want to have it. Period.

 

And for heaven's sake, take an English class. Develop some pride in what you do and say.

[Lights]

I can't help you on getting the dates, but I can help you get past the matters acting as a barrier to speaking with women. I am also Asian-American, full blood, and my college days were also almost entirely dateless. Do I hate having that experience? YES! I can't tell you what will work as far as getting dates, but there's no reason that the act of talking alone should paralyze you...

 

1: Since your English is a joke, work on it very hard and/or hold your conversations in a language in which you are remotely articulate. Trust me, I've done things like that before--asking someone out when there's a language barrier is difficult in the extreme, although it's quite possible to have fun together despite it in a non-date situation provided you don't take yourselves or each other too seriously.

 

2: There isn't anything wrong with information- or opinion-exchanges in conversations, but have you ever tried asking things that would help in getting to know about her? It can be even simple or random things like what she likes about BC, what she does for fun, what her favorite genre of movie to watch in expensive BC theaters is , or whatever. Just keep in mind that self-disclosures and subject choice should be done appropriately--commiserating about evil instructors will be quite a productive idea if you're looking to recruit some partners-in-crime to submerge your enemy under a massive pile of maple leaves and hockey pucks, but it isn't going to help much in terms of getting each other to know things you do like.

 

3: It's just my experience, but it can be good to talk to nearby friendly women [if applicable] in non-date situations. Try that too--some of the few girl friends [two words] I've had were women who were already taken. If you're lucky enough to already have a true social group which provides you the social stuff you need and the kinds of people of both genders that you like, THAT'S A HUGE ADVANTAGE--USE IT. Through that you may (it doesn't always work out that way, mind you) be able to avoid having to run out of your way to find new people.

 

4: Forget being scared of being Asian, or of any other race. I can understand some fear of or anger towards being subjected to crap from fools who resort to cliquishness or racism, but remember that that stuff is perpetrated by people of all races, and the cliques need not necessarily be race-based for such behavior to happen.

 

I can't tell you much more than this. Good luck.

[joel]

i am askin this pretty much finding a date or gf is pretty much very similar to like making a freind-same process. some will like to hang with u while others won't am i true.

meaning some ppl will be ur firend and other will be just ur aquintance, or other may just be ur freinds u talk to but never hang out with out of school . same with girls some will want to date u, others just as freinds while others wouldn;t even want to look at u.

finding a freind just a freind of the same sex is very similar to finding a gf-it is also the same process too right but with flirting.

tell me is this true or not b/c this is what ppl from this forum and others are telling me

 

thank u for all the advice guys

[runner]

perhaps a bit similar sometimes, albeit one vital difference: intent and flirting doesn't always mean you want to have sex with the girl, sometimes i flirt with girls (mostly with friends) just cos its fun. and therein is my key advice to you...lighten up !

[aznflava]

chill out, whatcha yellin' for

lay back, its all been done before

and if Joel could only let is be

then he would see