Author Tinie Posted November 16, 2017 Author Posted November 16, 2017 The pattern here isn't having sex early - it's that YOU are choosing men who share similar incompatibilities / flaws. A better examination would be what do these guys have in common and why are you picking them. Well they don't really show anything obvious at first. They don't act crazy (or maybe I'm missing signs?). The only thing I've noticed is that the last two I've gotten an uneasy feeling about, but went ahead and dated them because I couldn't place my finger on it. So it seems like they were putting on an act to get you in bed, and as soon as you did, they reverted to their real selves. That can be quite difficult to detect and avoid. In fact by sleeping with them early you found out their true nature earlier. If you had waited for say 10 dates, then you would be more heavily invested in the relationship before finding out they were psychos. I guess the question you have to answer is, which is worse? Sleeping with someone who turns out to be a psycho early, and only wasting a week or 2 of your life? Or not sleeping with them, but wasting 2 or 3 months dating them before they reveal their true personality as a psycho. The best solution of course is to improve your people-picker. You need to weed out the psychos sooner. Listen to your gut, and don't ignore red flags. I definitely think this is the case. Its not that I don't know how to pick guys- I've had good, stable relationships with good men before, its more so the recent string of nutcases that has given me pause. I did notice a feeling of uneasiness as I described in my response to Recent Change but because I couldn't identify why something felt off I just went ahead and got involved anyway. I did that because I've been wrong about first impressions before so I figured this was just a first impression and not necessarily telling.
Author Tinie Posted November 16, 2017 Author Posted November 16, 2017 I also agree with what everyone's been saying. I thought about this and if the guy is right, when we have sex is irrelevant because there would be substance to the relationship beyond the bedroom to keep it going. I might not make the current guy wait too long though- I'd rather figure out if he's crazy sooner rather than later...
Recommended Posts