xpaperxcutx Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 I have been dating someone for over a year now, and there has been a lot of ups-and-downs and there have been a lot of tears. For one, he is younger than me, still in college, but working full-time as an IT tech at a popular music streaming company. He has been stuck in college for more than 4 years now trying to finish his Computer Engineering degree, and he is trying to avoid extra setbacks (he dropped out of two important classes last year). I've been unhappy at my place of employment and have only recently secured a job that provided a decent salary and benefits (Handed my notice last Friday), We have been fighting because I felt like he hasn't been doing his part as my SO. I hardly ever saw him due to his hectic schedule, and when I do see him its only for a few hours because he refuses to sleep over on Saturdays at my place (apparently my big empty apartment gives him anxiety. He has voiced his discontent that I was asking too much and that I should be happy with the little time that we do have on the weekends. I have been unhappy with the way our 1-year anniversary ended- He didn't make any plans so I had to book tables at a restaurant. He also didn't get me anything, not even the promise ring he had originally told me about during the initial months of us getting together. For Halloween, he was so busy with class and mid-terms, I had to spend it alone at home, and then for my birthday two weeks ago, we ended up having a fight because he couldn't keep plans with me due to his family, and he only got to my house at 9PM after I had waited for him all day. We ended up fighting again, and fell asleep at my bed (no, we did not have sex; we literally argued on my bed and fell sleep). I kicked him out at 2AM. We fought again last Friday on the phone because I got angry at him and his family's treatment of me. His mom always had an issue with me, and she always assumed I was using him for his money. He told she was complaining that he got me an Amazon Echo for my birthday but that I hadn't gotten him anything (we have the same birth dates).For the record, I gave him a brand new $100 bill from my savings and I treated him to Japanese BBQ worth $60. And I have never used him for money. I have a college degree and I work. And aside from financial issues recently, I have spent over hundreds and hundreds of dollars on both him and his family, including birthday presents for his sisters and Christmas gifts for his entire family. He told me to never contact him again and he hung up on me. I haven't heard back from him. I tried to reach out to him, by calling and texting on Saturday, but no response. I even texted him I was sorry. Since he is in No Contact with me, I have to go on NC too. I have to rearrange my plans including tickets I had bought for the both of us to see a festival, and I have made new plans to celebrate Thanksgiving with my best friend. I didn't want this, but writing this story out made me realize how horrible I have been treated. It hurts to be cast aside like this because I have done nothing except give. I always bought gifts for him, including a $250 Fossil watch. I have also given my dog to his sister because she was going through some emotional issues. When he lost his job in June, I reached out to my contacts to help him find his current position (he now gets paid more than me). He never had any time for me and actually told me during our argument, his family was more important than me. Well, now everyone is more important to him than me, and I was with him for over a year. :(:(:(:(:(
angel.eyes Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 You're at different life stages. Job or not, he's a college kid. This is what happens when an independent adult chooses to date a college kid. You're trying to turn him into what he isn't--a fully functioning adult who takes his relationship more seriously than his studies, his family, etc. He's just dating for fun. This isn't the first time that you've tried to keep a relationship going where there clearly was no fit or interest. This guy can't meet your needs. Take a deep breath and let this go. Stop reaching out to him to try and get him to talk to you. You deserve someone who can and will reciprocate what you give in a relationship. Stop diving into one-sided arrangements.
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