Starseed420 Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 I have been dating this guy for two months. He has been through a lot, recently before we started dating, he lost someone very close to him and dealing with illness in his family. Everything with us seemed great, he clearly cared about me and did a lot of things to actually show he cared. We also talked about how if now might not be a good time to see each other (because of what he's going through), I told him I didn't want to be a burden while he is grieving and I didn't want to add pressure to his already difficult situation. He told me he really likes me and wants to continue seeing me. I am still seeing him but I feel like I am not getting what I need emotionally from him and I don't want to continue with him. I am afraid I am expecting too much from someone going through a rough time, and don't want to seem selfish and pressure him, so this is why I want to end things. I also want to end things because he seems to only ever want to see me on his terms. (ie - I ask him to hangout for once, and he says he can't). He seems to only ever want to get together if he makes the plans. Today, we are both free, he told me he isn't doing anything, so I asked him to get together and he just avoids the question or says he can't. If someone is really into someone, shouldn't they be excited to see them and want to every chance? I feel bad because I seem so selfish, and breaking things off when he may need me most (even if it's just my company). But he doesn't open up about anything. I really don't like how he is only the one to make plans. Yes it's selfish - but I don't want to continue seeing him if I feel unfulfilled . Not sure how to tell him this.
Miss Spider Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 In order for a relationship to work, people need to be able to communicate with each other. If you cannot communicate openly then it will not be a healthy relationship. You need to tell him exactly what you have told us. That you want to be supportive, but you feel like he's not opening up emotionally and you don't like that will only see you on his terms. You want more, so tell him. If you've done that, one of two things will happen. 1. He'll step up because he cares about you and wants to keep this or 2. He knows deep down that you are right and he is not able to give you what you want and will let you go from this situationship. 3
Author Starseed420 Posted November 13, 2017 Author Posted November 13, 2017 (edited) You're right, I really do have to tell him this. I am hesitant to because of what he's going through. But at the same time, it's been two months. If he wasn't in the situation he is in, I would have told him much earlier. I am also wondering if he is just unavailable like this because of what he's going through, or if he's always like this. Edited November 13, 2017 by Starseed420
kassy Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 You need to talk to him.the timing may be not ideal but you aren't trying to pressure him to marry you. You are asking for something very reasonable. Just make sure you have a conversation and don't start too emotionally charged. He may not realise he is even doing this.
kendahke Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 I don't think you're being selfish at all. He has no problem being selfish or rude in not answering you question about hanging out when you both had the day off. I would try one more time to set up a day to go do something. If he balks, I'd tell them that I no longer wish to see him and to have a nice life. Then block him. He's wasting your time. 1
Patrice Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 matters too. Just tell him this isn't working for you. 1
Ieris Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 It's just bad timing, don't even know when or whether things will get better so I think you should simply move on.
Recommended Posts