act00 Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 This is very true. I LOVE fishing and I have been told I need to join one of the local fishing "clubs" (they take it pretty seriously up here..) but I avoided it like the plague. I know that I could have met some folks that share the same interest in fishing as me but I'm not going to spend my weekends on a boat, trolling the lakes and spending hundreds of dollars on fishing tackle. I totally agree! If you were serious into fishing and this is what you did almost every weekend and whatever free time you had, and you want a mate who would equally enjoy this, you might seek a club or meetup group that focused on this hobby or lifestyle, and hopefully meet a woman who was equally engaged and enthusiastic about packing up every weekend to fish. It would really suck when you found out this woman really wasn't into fishing, but she joined the group to meet men. You hit it off, but she doesn't really fish or enjoy fishing, or any of the steps involved in this endeavor. Or she isn't a devout <religion>. Starting off on false pretenses does not work.
jjgitties Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 FWIW... I do go to church on rare occasion and am religions due to my upbringing but am not a hard core religious person. I fail to understand how someone can advise to go to church to meet men. Most of the people that I see at church are families with kids and much older people. The thing you saw OP must have been something posted on a christian forum of something. I think a more correct wording of it would be, "if you yourself are strongly religions and want to meet a man who shares your strong religions convictions, then the natural place to keep looking is in the church you go to".
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 FWIW... I do go to church on rare occasion and am religions due to my upbringing but am not a hard core religious person. I fail to understand how someone can advise to go to church to meet men. Most of the people that I see at church are families with kids and much older people. The thing you saw OP must have been something posted on a christian forum of something. I think a more correct wording of it would be, "if you yourself are strongly religions and want to meet a man who shares your strong religions convictions, then the natural place to keep looking is in the church you go to". There are loads of divorced/single adults at the church I (irregularly) attend.
OatsAndHall Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 I totally agree! If you were serious into fishing and this is what you did almost every weekend and whatever free time you had, and you want a mate who would equally enjoy this, you might seek a club or meetup group that focused on this hobby or lifestyle, and hopefully meet a woman who was equally engaged and enthusiastic about packing up every weekend to fish. It would really suck when you found out this woman really wasn't into fishing, but she joined the group to meet men. You hit it off, but she doesn't really fish or enjoy fishing, or any of the steps involved in this endeavor. Or she isn't a devout <religion>. Starting off on false pretenses does not work. This is another reason why I don't even try to meet women at the gym anymore. I dated two women that I met at the gym and it was a very polarizing experience. I hit the gym with a two specific goals in mind; lift three days per week to get stronger and to rehab my separated shoulder. I love going in and I am serious about the training but it doesn't overtake my life. One really didn't enjoy being there and just dragged herself in to try and stay healthy. Kudos to her for that but our lifestyles really didn't mesh as she wasn't active outside of the gym and loved to bake all kinds of food that I really don't enjoy or choose not to eat very often. She is a pleasant woman but she was at home, baking and eating cookies/cake/brownies and binge watching Netflix (or playing video games) most of the time. The second woman was way into "fitness" and competing in Spartan races and she spent most of her free time exercising. She was obsessive about what she ate and followed a very strict diet (dinner dates sucked..) and she spent most of her free time working out or running She is a nice gal (and drop dead gorgeous) but I was put-off by her obsessions. Some of her comments and behavior pointed to a person who was self medicating a mental illness with twenty+ hours worth of working out each week.
NuevoYorko Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 The assumption is that, if you have values that are practiced in a church you have a chance of finding a compatible person there. Churches have a big social component. It's interesting that you brought race into it. Fortunately for you, it's easy to find homogenous churches where you won't be likely to encounter people not of your race. That said, I think it would work only for someone who was inherently interested in the stated purpose of the church. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 Sometimes on holidays like Easter I go to a small country church in the South with some old family friends. There are always a few cute single men around my age there. And I always see these hot, athletic guys with wives who have completely let themselves go (obese, frumpy clothes). I don't align very well with this particular church's philosophies, but I can see how it would be a great place to meet someone. I agree that the primary reason for going should be to have a spiritual practice, but the romantic potential is a good secondary reason - and a great motivator to get yourself there. It's an avenue I've yet to explore, but I'm sure it could lead to good places.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 That said, I think it would work only for someone who was inherently interested in the stated purpose of the church. True. I wouldn't advise an atheist to go to church to find a mate!
NuevoYorko Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 The "Christian Identity" movement is pretty much all about white ...
No_Go Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 In my ex's church, 90% of the people were between 20 and 35. I guess for somebody who is into this, it was a good dating environment. For me it was totally smothering but I'm agnostic (they were trying to convert me all the time when they see me with him). They were primarily white btw. 1
kendahke Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 I've always had a problem with the mentality of using church as a dating service. That's not what church is there for. While you'll find a greater selection of people who love the lord, it doesn't mean any of those people are compatible with you in other areas of your life. 4
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 (edited) Your right! Glad to know your church supports you like that. Mine is into making money. When my late sister had passed she was 100% into the church and gave a ton of money to the offering. I had spoken to the father to see if he could do the service without charging me a lot of money. He said wait I have to see how much money she gave to the church? I said what! It's all about the money. God didn't put these churches there for us to make huge money. I just feel the church I belong too has let me down. I can talk to God without going to church and I do daily. I go too other churches with those women I use to date. Worship wasn't this money intensive as when I was a kid going to church. The bible states that you must give to replenish the lords storehouse.......ten per cent.....to help the widowed the needy the poor......not only in the church but to all peoples.....my church helps people in service and in many ways......i have been a recipient of that help in food and emotional support ..........i have seen acts of service that are often given in random acts of kindness....in secret even.... im sorry you had a bad experience and I am glad you stay close to god your way...it took me years to be a part of a church i truly believe in,.....many churches i have sat at the back just watching and listening then put what change i could on a collection plate......saw the fifty dollar notes that others put on a plate and felt so unworthy and useless ashamed and embarrassed............been kicked out of a few scripture groups at school too...:0)..... i will remain in my church until its my time to go......probably remain to be the unwed ex hooker with five kids that i am.... i dont think god loves me any more than he did before i found the church....his love is always constant......its the most glorious thing about god...his love...for me...for you..for all......smilin...ok.....going to go write poetry now about rainbows and butterflies now(actually going to write a sad piece about emily dickinson).....cheers coolheaded from me to you.....deb Edited November 12, 2017 by todreaminblue 1
coolheadal Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 The bible states that you must give to replenish the lords storehouse.......ten per cent.....to help the widowed the needy the poor......not only in the church but to all peoples.....my church helps people in service and in many ways......i have been a recipient of that help in food and emotional support ..........i have seen acts of service that are often given in random acts of kindness....in secret even.... im sorry you had a bad experience and I am glad you stay close to god your way...it took me years to be a part of a church i truly believe in,.....many churches i have sat at the back just watching and listening then put what change i could on a collection plate......saw the fifty dollar notes that others put on a plate and felt so unworthy and useless ashamed and embarrassed............been kicked out of a few scripture groups at school too...:0)..... i will remain in my church until its my time to go......probably remain to be the unwed ex hooker with five kids that i am.... i dont think god loves me any more than he did before i found the church....his love is always constant......its the most glorious thing about god...his love...for me...for you..for all......smilin...ok.....going to go write poetry now about rainbows and butterflies now(actually going to write a sad piece about emily dickinson).....cheers coolheaded from me to you.....deb Hi Deb, I seen a offering for $50 when I was younger too. I believe that if you gave other than money God still love you too. I was alter boy once but again worked with the Archbishop, bishops, father of our parish. I still feel it got corrupted over money and etc. They drive fancy cars and so much into gold. God was all about wood carvings and status in our church. Now they're trying to heal people at church I do that without the church. I still call on God for his assistance as a healer. Coolheadal PS cheers to you as well.. God does some wonderful things for all us! 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 (edited) So glad to see you, deb! (((((deb))))) <3 Well, I mentioned I'd met a couple Drs. two dentists and a CPA who asked me out at my church. I forgot, I actually met three MDs I dated (radiologist, family practice and OB/GYN) from there! In a church of about 200 attending. I go there not to meet men but because I love to worship God there. As well as at home, too, though. After church I used to go to a mountain stream/waterfall area to read my Bible and pray. It was a park that you had to pay to get into but they began to let me in free because I came consistently weekly. Anyway, I would get off the beaten path there and feel safe since you had to pay to get into the park. Because of this I thought that maybe crazies wouldn't be there. I would try to hide from folks in a more secluded area so that I could have quiet for my prayer/study time there weekly. The strangest thing happened in that I guess men were curious as to what I was reading because somehow they'd find me! I thought it was funny that I was meeting probably more men there than I would have in a bar or club! And they were all these outdoorsy types. Some of them weren't spiritual but they would discuss their views on spirituality with me, all different views, they had! So ladies, don't think you have to go where groups of men are. I figured that the reason I was meeting more men there than just about anywhere else is because I was seeking solitude and that must have intrigued them. Plus, they probably felt they could talk with me without being threatened I'd think they were hitting on me. Idk. The other place I've met many men is doing my work. I've found that when you are concentrating on doing something, rather than aimlessly looking for something to do, it's attractive to men. It seems men are drawn in when they see a woman focusing intensely on a project and working hard toward it. Also, one more thing. One of my best friends met her husband (third marriage for her, fourth for him) at a mountain waterfall on a weekend. She was hiking with a gf and he was sketching the waterfall. She struck up a convo about his sketch, they became friends and married three or four years later. Imo, what works best to meet men is to just live your life organically rather than trying to figure out how to meet them. Edited November 12, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 The bible states that you must give to replenish the lords storehouse.......ten per cent.....to help the widowed the needy the poor......not only in the church but to all peoples.....my church helps people in service and in many ways......i have been a recipient of that help in food and emotional support ..........i have seen acts of service that are often given in random acts of kindness....in secret even.... im sorry you had a bad experience and I am glad you stay close to god your way...it took me years to be a part of a church i truly believe in,.....many churches i have sat at the back just watching and listening then put what change i could on a collection plate......saw the fifty dollar notes that others put on a plate and felt so unworthy and useless ashamed and embarrassed............been kicked out of a few scripture groups at school too...:0)..... i will remain in my church until its my time to go......probably remain to be the unwed ex hooker with five kids that i am.... i dont think god loves me any more than he did before i found the church....his love is always constant......its the most glorious thing about god...his love...for me...for you..for all......smilin...ok.....going to go write poetry now about rainbows and butterflies now(actually going to write a sad piece about emily dickinson).....cheers coolheaded from me to you.....deb You're probably one of the brightest lights in your church <3.
jjgitties Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 The "Christian Identity" movement is pretty much all about white ... what do you mean? what do you call the new testament church of god? they are almost always black african americans. 1
NuevoYorko Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 what do you mean? what do you call the new testament church of god? they are almost always black african americans. https://carm.org/christian-identity-movement The fact that i's also known as "Anglo-Israelism" should tell you enough, if you don't want to read that description or Google further.
act00 Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 This isn't a debate about religion, it's about seeking men (women/mate) through a church, as the OP has read that church is a really good way to meet available men. I don't think this is necessarily a church issue or a religious issue; it's about involving yourself in interests and hobbies that are male oriented, in efforts to meet a man (or women-oriented), and pretending to be equally interested...when you're not...at all. Don't join a hiking club to meet men if you hate hiking, and don't go seeking men at St. Mary's or Family Bible Church if you're not religious or don't subscribe to the faith. Easy-breezy, just don't. 3
90s kid Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 I attend church regularly and I have to agree. I go to a Christian church that's pretty young and diverse and people tend to socialize a lot. I've met quite a few couples at my church that met there. However, most of them are committed to being with people who are also Christians so if you're aren't particularly religious, I'm not sure it's a good match. Also, it's kind of unethical to attend church just to patrol for a date if you're not genuinely a person of faith. 2
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 You're probably one of the brightest lights in your church <3. deb is a bright light wherever she goes! 1
coolheadal Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 Church is a the gather place to worship GOD so knows you still pray to our supreme being. Still each of the many churches out there are so different. But still if you want to meet that church goer you can do it after church get together. I've been to all churches even the Temple for Jewish. They all treated me right had small party after wards. Food and drink. Still so many types were there from US Government FBI etc. STill no matter what church you attend you and all of us still have God in your hearts. God made all us to be here right now to try to help the OP out to find that special person after church. Give God his time then you have your time after church. Right Debs! Amen Sister! God Bless you all! Amen! 1
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