noun123 Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 Hi everyone, after some healing time on my own I am back on the dating scene and have questions regarding a certain personality. I started talking to men on one of the dating apps. About a month in, I met one certain guy we can call M. We had great conversations over the app then text and about a week later he asked to meet me. I had low expectations but our first date was amazing. We had such great conversation and made me feel right at home. By the end of our date we had set up another and continued to talk over text until that next time. Now he's always taken a while to message back but here we are a month later, 5 dates later and Im finding that the time in between messages is really bothering me. Im talking 7 hours to overnight sometimes. We are both busy but really who is too busy to return a text. Ive been with him these five times and he does always have his phone on him, and has responded to a few messages, very few but still some. My question is, is this something to read into? Ive never experienced it before and Im finding it makes me a bit insecure about how he feels about me if he's able to respond to others but takes so long to respond to me. He's initiated about half of our dates as well as I, about once a week. We are 28/31 if that matters. Last night I messaged him a direct question asking if I had left something at his house last week and he didn't answer until this morning and the more I think about it the more it seems weird to me. Im here to hear everyones opinions. Thanks in advance:)
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 All I can say is, it's wasted energy trying to figure it out. The important thing to do is to acknowledge you don't like this and to move on quickly. One thing to learn is, is to not question but follow a strict rule of thumb: date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 I can only speak for myself, but when I take a long time to text someone back, it is usually because I don't want them to think I'm there and willing to carry on a lengthy texting conversation at that moment. For whatever reason, this guy isn't wanting to connect with you all that much. 3
staggerlee71 Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 Texting return time!!!... its a bitch. So here is my take on return time from a guy...I'm a guy. I will return texts as soon as I can when I really dig women. Almost impossible to longer than an hour. I will be slow to return texts when I want to maintain communication but eh, I can take or leave this possibility. Anywhere within 24 hours. If I am playing games, create insecurity, and build tension, I will wait 24 hours even though I could respond within 30min. My Suggestion. Decide what you will tolerate and take control of this. 3
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 I have read this on a men's magazine site...they don't text you because they don't want to. 1
staggerlee71 Posted November 11, 2017 Posted November 11, 2017 I have read this on a men's magazine site...they don't text you because they don't want to. that goes for sexes
Author noun123 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Posted November 12, 2017 All I can say is, it's wasted energy trying to figure it out. The important thing to do is to acknowledge you don't like this and to move on quickly. One thing to learn is, is to not question but follow a strict rule of thumb: date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. Absolutely and thank you for reminding me. I'm uncertain as whether to bring this up with him and see what he says or just cut him loose? Sighh dating
Author noun123 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Posted November 12, 2017 I can only speak for myself, but when I take a long time to text someone back, it is usually because I don't want them to think I'm there and willing to carry on a lengthy texting conversation at that moment. For whatever reason, this guy isn't wanting to connect with you all that much. Ugh, what I was thinking but didn't want to admit. Thank you for your thoughts.
Author noun123 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Posted November 12, 2017 Texting return time!!!... its a bitch. So here is my take on return time from a guy...I'm a guy. I will return texts as soon as I can when I really dig women. Almost impossible to longer than an hour. I will be slow to return texts when I want to maintain communication but eh, I can take or leave this possibility. Anywhere within 24 hours. If I am playing games, create insecurity, and build tension, I will wait 24 hours even though I could respond within 30min. My Suggestion. Decide what you will tolerate and take control of this. It is a bitch! How can I take control? At first I thought of just ending everything but should I talk to him about it and see what he says? I don't want to assume anything but... to me the signs are pretty clear. However he does keep asking me on dates so that adds the confusion.
Highndry Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 My take is that he's not really into you. As a guy I return texts promptly unless I'm doing something and don't have my phone. If I am busy I will say something like "Hey, cutie, super busy but will let you know as soon as I'm done" or something. I am straight forward, no BS, no games, etc. and I expect the same. Games are for kids. 1
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 IMO you shouldn't have to direct people in how to date you. If it isn't working, it isn't working...get rid of them. 1
Chilli Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 See this is the thing now. People read all the internet shyt and how to this and don't do that and respond like this and give it time and holy fk. so much bullshyt now, how you suppose to tell if someones real or not anymore with all the bs these days, or trying to be clever following some internet script
JEG88 Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 See this is the thing now. People read all the internet shyt and how to this and don't do that and respond like this and give it time and holy fk. so much bullshyt now, how you suppose to tell if someones real or not anymore with all the bs these days, or trying to be clever following some internet script Exactly. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. That said, if this guy has usually initiated dates and his response time is getting longer, it usually is a sign that he's losing interest.
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