Tarhshar Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 I was seeing my boyfriend for 3 months, we were moving fast but I was sure he was really serious about me , we were exclusive from the start ,I meet most of his close friends within the first one month and he introduced me to his brothers .. So I usually have mood swings , but only when he does something I don’t like .. on this particular day we went out with his friend and his friends girlfriend to a restaurant ,he didn’t ask me what I wanted to order but asked the other girl , I was jealous and I started to have my mood swings , fast forward to after dinner we were supposed to stay in a hotel but he decided to stay at his friends place without telling me first and it made me more angry , I wanted to hurt him back so I called a guy in the middle of the night it made him really jealous and angry ,next morning I tried to talk to him but he was being cold so I asked him to get me a cab to go home , we fought over text and he asked me to stop messaging him , so I went back to his friends house and he wouldn’t open the gate to talk to me so I went over the fence that obviously turned him off but he said he had forgiven me , but he started to act distant after that .. 1 week after I asked him if something was wrong and he said something had changed about his feelings since that day I jumped over the fence he asked for space so I gave him space .. didn’t contact him for two weeks then I messaged him and asked him if he wanted to break up he said he didn’t know and that he still had feelings for me , so I told him we could meet up when he was back in the country as he was on vacation then .. when he got back he didn’t contact me , so I sent him a message asking to meet up , he didn’t reply so I gave it one week and called him again this time he finally broke it off , he said he still cared about me but not in that way , I said ok and told him to take care of himself ..I already unfollowed him on social media sites but he still followed me on Snapchat even if I wasn’t following him back .. the day he broke up with me my best friend who is a guy asked me to come over to his house so I wouldn’t be home alone and sad , I went and I posted a video of I and my best friend driving to the mall ( we were actually going to get ice cream so I could eat it while I cry ) immediately he watched it he unfollowed me on Snapchat .. it’s been 11 days now and I haven’t contacted him and he hasn’t tried to contact me and I don’t think he will .. He is a very jealous person and I know he probably thinks I started hooking up with another guy immediately he ended things .. I know I acted immature most times and am ready to make changes . I just don’t know if I should even bother trying or if he would even want to talk to me ..
HumanMachine Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 Is there a polite way of saying “you’re crazy and you need help”? 1
Author Tarhshar Posted November 9, 2017 Author Posted November 9, 2017 You’ve made me feel worse than I already do ..
HumanMachine Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 You’ve made me feel worse than I already do .. Why? Look at your actions, they are simply unacceptable. Calling another guy to make him jealous because he asked a female what her order was before yours? Grow up. Meeting up with your ‘best friend’ and posting it on social media so soon after the breakup? Nope. You need to take a long hard look at what you’ve done.
Author Tarhshar Posted November 9, 2017 Author Posted November 9, 2017 I know I acted really immature and I feel terrible about it already and I have never acted this way with anyone I dated before him , which is why it hurts the most because I really do like him and messed it up
HumanMachine Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 I know I acted really immature and I feel terrible about it already and I have never acted this way with anyone I dated before him , which is why it hurts the most because I really do like him and messed it up All you can do is learn from your mistakes and improve yourself. Have you considered seeing somebody about your mood swings? Unfortunately I can’t see this guy coming back. Well done for realising your actions though, seriously. All the best.
Author Tarhshar Posted November 9, 2017 Author Posted November 9, 2017 Yes I am looking into seeing a professional .. Would it be ok to maybe send a message after about a month just to apologize for my behavior or I should just leave things as they are .. I am not holding out hope anymore of getting back with him I just feel the need to apologize ..
HumanMachine Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 Yes I am looking into seeing a professional .. Would it be ok to maybe send a message after about a month just to apologize for my behavior or I should just leave things as they are .. I am not holding out hope anymore of getting back with him I just feel the need to apologize .. I may be biased because i’m in a similar position to your ex but I’d say leave it, the damage is done and some words aren’t going to change his mind/do him any good. Completely up to you but I personally think it’s best to stay NC.
1fish2fish Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 He asked the other girl what she wanted to order and not you, and he changed his plans about staying at a hotel without letting you know? It sounds like he didn't have a lot of respect for you or your feelings, which is what threw you into an emotional tailspin. Instead of trying to rekindle this toxic relationships, focus now on how to express and enforce healthy boundaries. Your gut told you something was wrong with his actions, but your reactions were over the top and inappropriate. Reclaim some of your dignity and refrain from reaching out to him. Ever. Apologizing won't change his opinion of you.
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 Apologize now because you owe your EX that. You really behaved badly. It won't win him back because he has no reason to trust you & would be a fool to even try. What you need to do is learn from this. Figure out why you go off the deep end so easily & then escalate to ridiculous levels. It should not have been so terrible that your BF asked the other girl for her order first. But I'll concede that if you were already in a bad mood due to your mood swings I can see how that would have irked you. If you had simply been impolite for the rest of the evening, that would have been proportional & something you could recover from. I'll further grant you that your BF abruptly changing his mind about the romantic hotel room in favor of staying at his buddy's also entitled you to be annoyed. Where you went wrong was pulling other men into this mess because you admit you wanted "to hurt" your guy. That confession is the most twisted part of this. Until you can get a handle on why you think like that you will not be able to maintain any relationship.
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