Merin Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 So from another thread... It was said that there is a certain league that people fall into, and that most people date within thier league... While I do think there is some truth to this, I'm curious how many people have dated outside what they may have considered thier league regardless if it was dating someone they never thought would be interested in them or if it was dating someone they may not have dated for various reasons but gave that person an opportunity anyway. If so, how did things work out? Myself.. I dated a Guy who is the Brother of a famous Las Vegas Casino the family is mad, crazy wealthy but it wasn't the reason I dated him.. I was married to a Guy who now is a Cop BUT when I met him he was a student and had zero money, again his lack of funds didn't bother me or make me decide not to date him and eventually marry him. I dated a stripper.. LOL he was/is gorgeous and honestly I never had any idea of how much money he had or didn't have and it was again never a factor in my dating him. I had a long term relationship with a USMC Sstg and while he made modest money it was never a factor for me in dating him. My currant Boyfriend is a mechanic and he makes a decent living, but once again his occupation or money was not and is not a factor in being with him. Out of the 5 Guys here 3 of them had told me at one time or another that they had felt I was out of thier league and they had been suprised at my interest in them... There was only 1 Guy on here I had been suprised at his intense interest in me... So whats been your experience?
Dean3922 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I have dated 3 strippers ( I guess that says I'm shallow ) but really I didn't date them because they were sexy or low-class. I enjoyed their company and they were fun to be around. I have dated a lawyer and she was ambitious, smart, funny and sexy. Really liked her but alas she found someone more to her suiting (another lawyer ). I dated a women electrician. She was a little blue-collar but we got along well. Her status didn't bother me or mine hers ( I am an engineer ). I am now dating a biologist and she is smart, funny sexy and we really get along well. She is as crazy as I am and I hope she is the "one". I am getting tired of dating and I hope to settle down in the near to medium future.
SmallWonder Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 The guy I'm seeing now is extremely different than I am. He has said he doesn't know what to do with me because he's never dated anyone "as classy" as me before, and he'd never asked me out before because I was so popular in high school (it's 10 years later). It's a tiiiny bit of a problem, but... I am enjoying his company and I think he's the sexiest guy I've ever dated. I've usualy dated guys within my "expected" league. My parents had a lot to do with that in the past, I suposse. Boys, really. I am divorced. He and I were from very different economic backgrounds - that was hard.
JS17 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Money has never really been a factor for me, I always think of looks when I hear out of my league. I've dated one guy who was probably too good looking for me and one who I was probably too good looking for. I think everyone else was right for me looks-wise. Two were absolutely brilliant, two were smart and close to me on an intelligence level, and one was dumb as dirt (no surprise that it was the one that was too good looking for me). Of course there were lots of randoms in between that I don't even consider. The one that was dumb and good looking, we had amazing chemistry and connected on an emotional level that I hadn't felt as an adult. I felt that his lack of intelligence and money versus his good looks made him in my league but it was the closest I have come to dating out of my league. One of the brilliant ones was my first love as a teenager and he's the guy that I would still say that I could see myself with today. I would say on the whole, I date within my league (when i can find a date)
shamen Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I tend to date men who have little to no college education for some reason... Even though I have my master's. This is weird to me sometimes why I always end up with these blue collar guys. I've dated a lawyer, a biologist, a teacher, and a (perpetual) college student though too. I've never felt that I've dated out of (above) my league, but I often wonder why I date men where theoretically I should be out of theirs... Regardless, doesn't seem to be an issue much of the time.
Outcast Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I wouldn't be interested in anyone who classified people in terms of 'league'. People are just people - your nice face doesn't make you better, nor does your fat wallet. It's your character that counts.
Barby Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast I wouldn't be interested in anyone who classified people in terms of 'league'. People are just people - your nice face doesn't make you better, nor does your fat wallet. It's your character that counts. This is the truth, sadly most (yes most) people don't look at life/relationships like that. Character should be the most important because without a good match in character/personalities a true meaningful relationship can't exsist let alone last. Obviously we all know that attraction (physical) is what normally attracts one person to another but looks or money aren't enough to keep a "love" alive!! But for myself personally...I've never really considered what "league" I'd be in...I'm open minded and even though I've dated mostly hispanic guys their age, looks, and financial situations have usually been different. Looks to me really aren't important because obviously I (as you can tell by my pic) I have no right or desire to judge another on their physical appearance. Okay I can and will admit that there have been a few unattractive guys I've dated who were in okay financial positions and treated me well...and I've dated a few hot hot men who I just didn't "connect" with.....now I'm head over heals in love with someone who OMG honestly isn't attractive (well in most people's judgement) and he's older....financially he's pretty good off but that has nothing to do with it because I take care of me and always will, I don't need his money but I just fell in love with him based solely on his personality and the emotional connection we had. I've been asked time and time again what I see in him but I can only smile and think about how much I love him..and how good he makes me feel....
Jayhawks Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I would say on the whole, I date within my league (when i can find a date) You know JS. Sometimes you might step outside the box to see if the guys there are the guy you are looking for. Spice is the thing that keeps us engaged and alive. Dating based upon league is fine if you can find the one for you, but if he seems to elude you it might be beneficial to try that guy you just didn't see at first but you find he is everything you really want in a man. As long as you can communicate and you enjoy each other the sky is the limit. If you have different interests and backgrounds this just enhances your relationship. Many times I have found that women I might not be gaga over have been the most fun and entertaining people I could ever want to meet. I now look outside the box to include people I would not have considered in the past. I feel it is a major step in my evolutionary process and it expands my mind. I am a much happier person and that happiness spills over to all aspects of my life.
JS17 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I don't search solely within my league, that's not how I choose who I date. If someone approached me that was out of my league I would certainly give them a chance but it hasn't really happened.
Jayhawks Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I don't search solely within my league, that's not how I choose who I date. If someone approached me that was out of my league I would certainly give them a chance but it hasn't really happened. I know. It's sad that people seem to not approach those they consider out of their league. I guess it is because of getting burned in the past. Finding a date is such a hodgepodge of images and thoughts. It is easier for a guy because he is supposed to pursue a women but a women who feels the guy is supposed to ask her has a harder time. Maybe you can give them a wink and a smile ( a little cleavage works great also ).
tanbark813 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 As far as I know I date within my league. I don't try to, it's just what happens. I know my last ex probably considered herself out of my league in terms of coming from a wealthier background and I know she considered herself more cultured and educated than me. It's funny though, I knew her in high school and considered her more out of my league back then than I did 10 years later (which would be now). A girl I was with in college was out of my league. She was hot. I have a crush on a bartender at the Chili's near my work but she's waaaaaay out of my league. She's so hot she makes my nuts tighten. She's almost as hot as Merin.
Jayhawks Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 She's so hot she makes my nuts tighten. I love that feeling. When a girl gets me hard just by looking at her I am in heaven. Makes me go for it and see what happens.
JS17 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by Jayhawks It is easier for a guy because he is supposed to pursue a women but a women who feels the guy is supposed to ask her has a harder time. Maybe you can give them a wink and a smile ( a little cleavage works great also ). I've approached a guy before, once and recently. We went out for a couple of months. I do like being approached more so than approaching not because I have a problem with doing it but I just feel very traditional about it. I can do a wink and a smile. I have a fairly average looking face but probably the best rack you've ever seen so i'll work on showing them off more maybe it will put me in a whole other league
JS17 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 I have a crush on a bartender at the Chili's near my work but she's waaaaaay out of my league. She's so hot she makes my nuts tighten. She's almost as hot as Merin. hey, ya never never know! take a chance. who gives a crap if she shoots you down...at least you know you tried. if nothing else, make it an experiment for LS in league dating!
tanbark813 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 hey, ya never never know! take a chance. who gives a crap if she shoots you down...at least you know you tried. if nothing else, make it an experiment for LS in league dating! Well I've tried to get her to come to a couple of my band's shows so I could woo her with my singing and sax playing but she hasn't taken the bait yet.
JS17 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Well I've tried to get her to come to a couple of my band's shows so I could woo her with my singing and sax playing but she hasn't taken the bait yet. well clearly she's a loser!!! p.s. i played the sax in third grade but my mom made me quit because i was so bad. now i stick to listening to music like mad.
tanbark813 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 p.s. i played the sax in third grade but my mom made me quit because i was so bad. You should submit your heartwarming story for the next volume of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Author Merin Posted August 19, 2005 Author Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 I have a crush on a bartender at the Chili's near my work but she's waaaaaay out of my league. She's so hot she makes my nuts tighten. She's almost as hot as Merin. Tan... I already told you the Chili's chicka is NOT out of your league... if she doesn't go out with you, then clearly she's riding the short bus! I guess the way I feel about it is this.. If you find someone you have an interest in as a person "Leagues" do not come into play... at least for me.
johan Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I think it's rare for people to date outside their league. At least not for long. And I think everyone picks their league. It's not like baseball where it's someone else's decision what league you're in. Of course, if you're trying for someone conceited enough to consider you to be in a lower league and won't be open to you, then it's not possible. But why bother? If you have healthy self-respect and confidence you can be in any league.
Jayhawks Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 If you have healthy self-respect and confidence you can be in any league. Amen, Johan. This advice will take you to the promised land if you have the guts.
Jayhawks Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I've dated bartenders, bouncers, servers, cops, a ton of students, doctors, attorneys, bankers, realtors, consultants, politicians, construction workers, DJs, trainers, athletes, musicians, a tattoo artist, and a hairdresser Might be easier to post who you haven't dated Star Gazer.
johan Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by Jayhawks This advice will take you to the promised land... Israel? Hadn't thought of that, but I guess so. Usually I just want them in bed.
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer Jeez, I wonder if guys ever think/feel that way about me... ??? I'm thinking about it right now
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I think that no matter which 2 people you pick and put together each will have things about the other that aren't in their own league.. their aren't perfect matches that nail it down that far. dating in your league in a way is all relative..
TUDOR Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 You ever hear how the hottest women don't get asked out because guys are too afraid to approach them...probably thinking the woman is out of their league. Then you see really hot women with what would appear to be not so good looking guy and you think "wow she is way out his league". It all comes down to making your move. You can't win if you don't play! Personally if I see some thing I like I go after it. Has it always panned out for me, no. But I did approach the hottest woman at a bar one night, was she out of my league, my boys with me at the time seem to think so. Glad I approached her, wound up marrying her. And you bet your sweet ass I married up...why stay in the minor leagues when you can play in the majors!!!
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