wadres Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Hi, recently my girlfriend dumped me, it was totally a surprise let me tell you, I didn't expected it. We were together for about almost 4 years, we both are 26 years old. She is very anxious and needy, while I am kind of the opposite but there was not infidelity or violence of any kind, I was her first "true" boyfriend, we shared really great moments and experiences, she told me everyday that she loved me A LOT but we used to have discussions almost every month. We had two break ups before, but they didn't lasted more than a week. The day she dumped me she told me that she was tired of not feeling loved, that I was very selfish and that she will eliminate me from every social media and the only reason I can talk to her is if I had an emergency. I didn't beg for an opportunity, I accepted her decision at that moment. A week after we broke up I went to her house because I just wanted to talk to her but her sister didn't let me in, her sister told me "if you keep insisting I will call the police". WOW that scared me a lot, then I tried to call my girlfriend but she didn't answer her phone, then I saw she blocked me on WhatsApp. I tried to contact her again one week after but she didn't answer again, this time I decided to follow her after she left her work and I managed to talk to her, she was very angry and stressed, she didn't wanted to hear anything from me. I gave her many reasons why this time I was totally committed to her and I told her how I was changing many things, she was really surprised for a moment. After 10 minutes her best friend appeared, he was "protecting her from me" he looked very angry and told me to leave or there will be "consequences". I had no choice and I left, I didn't want to mess things up. One day after, I encountered my ex girlfriend in the gym (yes, we go to the same gym but not at the same hour) she didn't want to talk to me, but once again, I managed to make her say some words. She told me "yesterday it was a step back in my decision because now I have hope that you are going to change but the fact is that for now I don't want to talk to you, every time I hear your voice you hurt me a lot, maybe I will look for you when I feel better". A week after, I sent her the book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" that nailed the mistakes we both made during our relationship. I has hoping that it was going to make her open her eyes and she will realize that we can fix our problems in an easy way, but I didn't receive any answer from her. A week later I found her in the gym and I asked her about the book, and guess what? she was ANGRY that I invaded her space and she told me the book was an stupid idea and that she will never read it. I said sorry and I told her that I just needed to know what she was thinking at that moment, that I wanted to help to make her feel better, she told me that she was going to switch to a new gym, and then ... her best friend appeared again, very angry and he started to hit the wall with his fists, then she just walked away and left the gym with her best friend. I felt devastated. Three days after, I sent her a text message telling her that I just wanted to apologize for what happened in the gym, that I wanted to know what is in her mind and I told her how I was suffering. She texted me back the following: "Please, I just want to stop feeling pain and I want to be easy on myself, I don't want to talk, I want to heal, Please, let me be, every time you talk to me you remove things and I feel worse. I have asked you many times to stop contacting me and you don't listen, you keep hurting me, let me have peace". After that text message I sent her a text that said the following: "My apologies, I don't do this with the intention of making you feel worse. I would like to talk to you when you fell better, I have a lot to show you. For now I will respect your decision and I hope you heal soon, I feel very bad doing this but I think you're right" After that day, I decided to apply the NO CONTACT RULE for about 30 days. It's the second day after NC and I don't know if that is the right amount of time, I am very confused and I almost have not hope. Please help me!!!
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Your first problem is that you misunderstand the NC rule. It has absolutely nothing to do with absence makes the heart grow fonder. You can't manipulate somebody into coming back to you. She wants out. She has other people helping her keep you away from her. The more you chase, the more angry she will get. you use NC to help you heal. the only things that will fix a troubled relationship are open, honest communication and hard work by both parties to fix the problems. Your GF feels like she did that already but you didn't. So now she is just done. Respect her decision. Leave her alone. Heal. Then move on. 3
Highndry Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 You have really disrespected her by continuing to ignore her pleas to leave her alone. Reading this, everything is about you and your feelings, nothing about her. You are coming across as extremely needy and controlling. Using no contact to get her back is manipulative game-playing. No contact is for healing and moving on. Sorry to burst your bubble, but all those websites that talk about recovering your ex by ignoring them are a lie. Women who dump men don't come back. It sounds to me like your relationship is irreparably harmed.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Leave her alone, unless you want the next message to be from the police warning you to stay away from her before you face far more serious consequences.
basil67 Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Writing to reiterate that NC is for healing. And it's not just for 30 days, it's for as long as it takes for both of you to completely move on. 1
HumanMachine Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Her ‘best friend’ lmao. They are banging. And you have definitely crossed the line, i’m surprised she hasn’t contacted the police herself. She is not interested in you, MOVE ON.
RecentChange Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Wow, following her after work, ignoring her pleas to leave her alone. I see now why the sis threatened the police. This is about you, not her. Respect her..... The more you push the more it shows that she was right.
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