kinder Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 HOW LONG SHOULD A PERSON WAIT TO SLEEP WITH BF/GF AFTER THE FIRST DATE?
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 2-5 dates or 1 to 2 weeks for me.. it does depend on how much time you spend with each other those weeks though
Cecelius Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Depends on whether you are the boy or the girl
alphamale Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by kinder HOW LONG SHOULD A PERSON WAIT TO SLEEP WITH BF/GF AFTER THE FIRST DATE? in most cases the woman controls this. it can be anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 months. but for me, on average, i usually get the bootie on the 3rd or 4th date.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Well I guess I'm a whore.........My current BF and I had sex the first night we met. I met him at a wedding that was on a marina. We got drunk at the wedding and then took a walk. The next thing we know........were on the beach f***ing like theres no tomorrow...twice.
Merin Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 My Boyfriend and I got it on after the 3rd date BUT BEFORE we had sex, it was known to both of us straight up that.. 1) We had both been tested for STD's AND 2) We were NOT seeing anyone else or would be
Dean3922 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Well I guess I'm a whore You naughty GIRL.....
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by Dean3922 You naughty GIRL..... Ok I'll change that....Well I guess I'm a naughty girl....
clandestinidad Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 LOL my b/f and I were friends/neighbors in college. didnt see each other for about a year or 2, started talking LD across states, and within 2-3 weeks of talking all the time he came to visit me. We went to the beach for some time together, and ended up having a lot of sex. It was amazing....both literally felt like we were floating during sex...and during kissing.....we still get that feeling sometimes..... sorry, that was a BIG tangent!! but my point is.....we never really went on ANY dates before we had sex!!! haha...i'm a slut, i mean 'naughty girl' too!!! woohooo!!
kitkat826 Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 My quickest was two weeks (second date) and the longest was five weeks. Average is about 3 weeks...though with the current guy we only just kissed after two weeks/three dates...but who knows, things might get put into warp speed soon...hehe... I say aim for a month, and be happy if you make it past two...
Zephyr45 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Well I guess I'm a whore.........My current BF and I had sex the first night we met. I met him at a wedding that was on a marina. We got drunk at the wedding and then took a walk. The next thing we know........were on the beach f***ing like theres no tomorrow...twice. Man, I so have to start crashing weddings.
Gold Pile Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 As few dates as possible. I've put potential (but not putting out) women on the back burner in a polite way, while chasing other prospects with quicker bed rewards. One back burner Girl put out after a year...so I've waited that long.
lindya Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 It generally takes me a couple of months to feel sufficiently emotionally connected. Twice I've encountered such intense sexual chemistry that I decided to go for it straight away. Both guys were people I probably couldn't have connected with on anything other than a physical level. No regrets at all - they were both fantastic, but as a general rule I don't want to get that close to anyone unless I trust them and am drawn to them on a number of levels.
guest Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Shortest time - 1 year Longest time - 2 years In both cases I had to have a commitment from him. If he wasn't willing to wait for me then I didn't want him. Sex is too important to just bandy it about like it had no real meaning. If a guy doesn't understand that than he is not the right guy for me and I'm not the right girl for him. In my case we were engaged and the first one didn't make it to the wedding because even after a year once he got what he wanted he was gone. In the second case - we had already set a date for the wedding, everything was planned and paid for and we had just moved into our apartment a month or so before the wedding and that's when we slept together. We are still married -- happily.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 About one month if we're together every weekend and spending a lot of time in between getting to know each other. I usually have a good feel for our chemistry and compatibility if we make it past the second date. By the third date…you can usually tell if you've got yourself a potential partner or just another platonic buddy. By the fourth week…IF there is mutual interest in taking things to the next level, I've usually put all my cards on the table and discussed my views and expectations regarding relationships before I make any kind of promise to exclusivity with anyone. I only made it to week 3-1/2 with my current boyfriend. And I'm the one that finally broke down and jumped him. Guess I got lucky because five years later we're still together … but he still teases me about how I took advantage of him till this very day. I keep telling him, that like most guys, when it comes to sex, he was much too easy.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I must have some repressed memories from my past because for some reason I always feel bad about myself if I sleep with a guy that I'm not totally "into". I know at my age consentual sex should be okay, but I still feel like a slut. The guy I am kinda dating, I told him in our first long conversation that it would take 5 dates but that could be substituted for a really long date (we were joking around). We got naked on the first date, too tired the second date, naked again the third date but no sex. 4,5,6,7 date I got a hug and kiss at the end. hmmmm not sure what's going on there. I don't mind getting physical early especially if it's really hot. But I prefer to get to know the guy better, and I'm learning (I'm new to this dating thing you know?). So for guys, if a guy says he'd like to "wait" for sex, how long is normal???
RecordProducer Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Originally posted by guest Shortest time - 1 year Longest time - 2 years I can't live a whole year without sex!!! Not to mention two years! Are you crazy? I would die and the diagnosis would be "lack of sex." It took me 6.5 years for my ex-husband. We were just friends, but when we kissed, we slept right away. With my current BF... well we were talking on the phone for two weeks before we met (it's a LDR) and I told him that there would be no sex on the first night. I couldn't resist. We met and spend the whole day together and went to sleep in the same bed in the hotel and... it just happened.
animo Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 What's normal? No idea actually... In my last steady relationship i 'waited' for about 5 months. This was while we were seeying eachother on a daily basis though and were both commited to eachother (so it's not like we were still dating). It bugged me sometimes because there were lots of seemingly perfect situations for it, but she always held off the boat at the very last minute. I kind of gave up on it after about 4 months, there wasn't any communication about it because i wasn't comfy about it, being a virgin and all, and she well...i don't think she ever got comfy with talking about it. When she finally made a move i was so annoyed that nothing happened for another month and then we talked about it somewhat and kind of set a date for it. But i was kind of freaked out and asked her why now and not before etc. And basically she said she needed to know if a relationship could work without sex... I dunno if that was the real reason or not but i told her straight up it never could nor would and about 4 years later she started holding off the boat again and that turned into the final drop for me and we broke up. So in the end i don't have any regrets about doing it with her for the first time. But it's safe to say that i'm going to be 'gone' for good faster then a hare on speed the next time i suspect any kind of 'games' being played in the sex department. I'm not really sure about 'how long' anyone should wait, or what is acceptable etc. I just know that you can 'feel' it when the time is right. When everything seems to go that way i guess go for it. If it's after a couple of dates or after a month or several months i guess it depends on the situations and such. Either way my past experience has learned me that if it seems right and nothing happens anyways without a word being spoken...there is probably some games going on, so whatch you step! Especially if you are considering commiting to this person.
NTB Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I can't live a whole year without sex!!! Not to mention two years! Are you crazy? I would die and the diagnosis would be "lack of sex." i'm a man whore......and i also need to start crashing weddings
RecordProducer Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I actually think that if people have sex right away it speaks of how passionate they are about each other. I know this from my current relationship. Sometimes people don't feel comfortable to be intimate so soon, because they don't know each other too well, but the point is the sooner you feel that you clicked and fell in love the sweeter the love. I am not talking about this from a long-term aspect; I believe that at the end people will stay together depending on how they get along overall regardless of how soon in the relationship they introduced sex. But the myths about easy girls and ruining the love by sleeping too soon are out-of-date and mere prejudice, IMHO. If a guy considers a woman a slut because they slept on the first night, then he has a problem.
animo Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Couldn't agree more... especially since that same guy most definitly also agreed to having sex
Cecelius Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer But the myths about easy girls and ruining the love by sleeping too soon are out-of-date and mere prejudice, IMHO. If a guy considers a woman a slut because they slept on the first night, then he has a problem. I disagree. While I do not think it a morality issue, it is simply an issue of whether something is too easily obtained. Just as women run screaming from dudes who bring flowers, poetry and puppy dogs to a date and say "I love you" after the first week -- mind you, the girl may not mind lapping up all the attention, but in the end she concludes that he's just not that big a prize because he was too easy. So too it is possible that a man concludes that the girl is shallow or lacking in human depth if she gives it up too easily. It does not make her a bad person. It makes her easier than others (just like the nice guy was too easy).
JS17 Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer But the myths about easy girls and ruining the love by sleeping too soon are out-of-date and mere prejudice, IMHO. If a guy considers a woman a slut because they slept on the first night, then he has a problem. I also disagree because I don't think it's necessarily a morality issue either, it's about sex complicating a relationship. Also, it's obviously not true of all women, but for many women, when they have sex with a man it deepens their feelings for that man, ie. tying emotions to sex which men don't necessarily do as much. For MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 IMO, when a man makes you wait for sex it means he has real feelings for you which is not to say that he can't have real feelings for you if you have sex right away. Some men take sex more seriously when they date a woman that they see as a potential mate. They realize that it will complicate and deepen the relationship and they respect the woman enough and want to protect the relationship enough to wait until they are sure they're ready emotionally. In my experience, I've had a guy make me wait a month and a half and it was a very deep relationship. I've also had a guy that I waited over two months to sleep with and even that was too soon. It complicated the relationship enough to ruin it. And then various other lenths of time with different relationships. I think each person and each couple are different and there really is no such thing as normal. It's what's right for the people involved in the relationship at that time in their lives.
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