ReddStar Posted November 6, 2017 Posted November 6, 2017 Hey Everyone, My GF and I of Three years recently broke up. 3 weeks ago, and We had been arguing a lot these past 5 months and we never ever really had any issues in our relationship. When we disagreed we figured it out and went on our merry way! But this year I have been under a lot of stress and I feel like it may have bled out into my relationship which I didn't mean for it to do. These past 5 months we've been arguing about some pretty fairly serious topics. We're long distance at the moment and I was going to be moving to where she was but she didn't believe me or think I wanted to do. I FEEL like she thought I was only doing it because she wanted me to. I have an indication that it may have been because I was telling her about the racial things that happen in that area and around the world ( were an interracial couple) , I feel like she may have thought I was trying to persuade her mind and make her NOT want to be there. But it wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted her on the same page with me so she'd be aware of these things like me. I hear from a source, that she feels overly manipulated by me? I'm not sure if its because of the things I was saying about moving or if it's because she has a hard time ever staying mad at me because I know what to do and say every-time shes angry or upset. It's also the reason she says she won't talk to me right now? Is because she doesn't want to be manipulated? But I don't really know what that means. Because I'm really not like that even the person I heard it from that knows us both very well doesn't understand where she got that from. ( I'm not sure if this means she's trying to just sort out her thoughts and feelings before we talk or what but I'm just really upset. : \ and hate myself that I did this. Because I'm usually a very patient, calm and understanding person. ) I mean when we broke up she spent 30 minutes crying and saying she didn't want to leave me over and over again and she loves me too much but she did it. She still has me added on FB and reads every message I send like immediately. I feel like this is all happening over a misunderstanding that got out of control and me lettings a lot of things get to me. It's just been a really bad year for me, and I had a huge gift and plan set for her to give her to thank her for being patient with me whole I get things sorted out to show my appreciation for her patience and that I know Ive not been myself really. But before I could give it to her this break up happened. BUT no matter what I do she wont talk to me, and I'm trying to not smother her and annoy her. But I feel like if we could just talk this out things could be better. I feel so bad that I hurt her unintentionally and just want to make it right.
springy Posted November 6, 2017 Posted November 6, 2017 You need to back completely off. Certainly if she thinks you are manipulative continuing to try to coerce her into talking to you is just going to reinforce that belief. Just back off and let her come to you if she chooses. She may never reach out, and unfortunately that is something you may have to accept. You might want to consider whether there is some truth to her calling you manipulative and deal with that.
Author ReddStar Posted November 6, 2017 Author Posted November 6, 2017 You need to back completely off. Certainly if she thinks you are manipulative continuing to try to coerce her into talking to you is just going to reinforce that belief. Just back off and let her come to you if she chooses. She may never reach out, and unfortunately that is something you may have to accept. You might want to consider whether there is some truth to her calling you manipulative and deal with that. I see, I havent contacted her in like 5 days but sent something yesterday just saying this all may be a misunderstanding and I know shes hurt and I didn't mean it and that we should talk this out if and when she wants. Ive actually asked several friends of mine who have known me for a long time if I am. Because I don't want that feeling being put off or have that kind of label on me nor do I want her feeling that way because I'm not that kind of person at all. A lot of them don't think so especially a very close mutual friend to us both. She says she thinks that she may have gotten than from someone else talking to her ( which she does have a friend that doesn't like me and I dont like her from a very odd situation we had. )
Highndry Posted November 6, 2017 Posted November 6, 2017 ...when we broke up she spent 30 minutes crying and saying she didn't want to leave me over and over again and she loves me too much but she did it. This is all you need to know. When women get wishy washy like this, pay attention to their actions, not their words. She's done, and the only thing you can do is never contact her again and hope she changes her mind and reaches out to you.
HumanMachine Posted November 6, 2017 Posted November 6, 2017 I see, I havent contacted her in like 5 days but sent something yesterday just saying this all may be a misunderstanding and I know shes hurt and I didn't mean it and that we should talk this out if and when she wants. Ive actually asked several friends of mine who have known me for a long time if I am. Because I don't want that feeling being put off or have that kind of label on me nor do I want her feeling that way because I'm not that kind of person at all. A lot of them don't think so especially a very close mutual friend to us both. She says she thinks that she may have gotten than from someone else talking to her ( which she does have a friend that doesn't like me and I dont like her from a very odd situation we had. ) You’re coming off as needy and desperate. No need to contact her again - she’s not interested. Focus on yourself and moving on.
alterest Posted November 6, 2017 Posted November 6, 2017 She is doing this cause you are very needy right now and you are just an annoying guy take her peace out. Just go full NC. But, if you still want to tell her anything you feel so write a letter with everything you want to tell her and if you still want to tell anything to her before you wrote that letter, then send it to her and go full NC. Just bring some peace to your heart right now.
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