Lexxi Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I’m not sure what the “rules” are. I’ve met one guy so far, and prior to meeting, we talked over the phone and FaceTimed. Now, it looks like I may have a date this evening but things seemed to have moved quickly. Just matched with him yesterday, been messaging a bit and he told me he would be up for meeting tonight at a sports bar. Problem is, he hasn’t offered his phone number, been vague about time and place... I messaged him saying we could watch the event at 7pm. He messaged back saying “I might be later than 7 though.” Did not give a set time, didn’t even offer a place to meet. So I just messaged him and suggested a couple of places or if he has a different recommendation, just to let me know. And I gave him my number and asked him to call or text cause it would be easier that way. And plus we’re meeting tonight so I thought it would be appropriate. Do people sometimes just meet without talking over the phone? Is that sort of considered normal? Or do people always make it a point to communicate over the phone prior to meeting in person? Suggestions/thoughts on this particular meetup for this evening and any possible ones going forward?
lovephule Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I would absolutely not meet up with this guy. He has no respect for your time. I've met without a phone call. Didn't die. Am also rarely a barometer for "normal." 3
grays Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I've done a ton of OLD and I only talk on the phone if the guy insists, whixh is rare. I just find meeting by phone awkward. If we end up dating after that phone is fine. I just dont like it for a first meeting.
warp123 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Not talking on the phone is normal nowadays, specially if you can chat on whatsapp. Strange is that he wont give you his phone number. Maybe hes married or has a gf and doesnt want you to know his number.
Author Lexxi Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 Not talking on the phone is normal nowadays, specially if you can chat on whatsapp. Strange is that he wont give you his phone number. Maybe hes married or has a gf and doesnt want you to know his number. Yeah, a little odd... and based upon the fact that we were thinking of meeting at a sports bar to watch an event, it’s less than 4 hours from now and no solid plans on time or location. I was thinking of WhatsApp as well, but I thought you would still have to give your phone number to the person in order for them to add you? I may be wrong...
ShyLove Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 It may not be normal but I always like to talk on the phone before meeting. Idk where you live but I live in a city with lots of traffic and hard to find/expensive parking so I'd rather have a 5 minute conversation to see what he sounds like before I go through all that hassle. I have saved myself a lot of time from a 5 minute phone call, trust me Some guys do ask also and others are surprised but like the idea that I ask. In my opinion it seems like those are the guys that take the date a bit more seriously bc they don't want to waste their time either. Good luck!!
warp123 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 (edited) Yeah, a little odd... and based upon the fact that we were thinking of meeting at a sports bar to watch an event, it’s less than 4 hours from now and no solid plans on time or location. I was thinking of WhatsApp as well, but I thought you would still have to give your phone number to the person in order for them to add you? I may be wrong... Yeah you need it, but just saying its normal to not use phone calls as a way of contacting. People are lazy to stay on the phone, they want to answer on text when they feel like doing it or when they can. I guess calling its an old tradition now Anyways, it can be seen from two points of view: 1) You already know you meet around 7, confirming would be just some formality. Also he said he would be late, altough its something a bit vague, maybe it just means that instead of arriving at 7, maybe he arrives 10 minutes later. 2) On the other side, communication isnt very good and it could be that you are just another possible date and doesnt matter much about you. I would say trust your instinct, is he worth how hes making you feel? edited message: Oh wait, he doesnt even tell you where? He doesnt seem to treat you very seriously Edited November 4, 2017 by warp123
Author Lexxi Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 Yes, I’ve suggested two different places to meet, along with my phone number and also told him I’m open to other suggestions on where to meet. No response yet. Looks like it may not happen after all.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I used to make it a practice of speaking to the person I would meet until I moved to where I am now. Now, I simply wait for the other person to ask for a conversation. I find that people really don't have much of substance to talk about over the phone. I think most people, ladies in this area seem to really enjoy texting and are not as communicative. Now, I simply make plans via text and wait to hear their voice when I meet them. Sometimes it's the conversation is better in person....sometimes not.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Yes, I’ve suggested two different places to meet, along with my phone number and also told him I’m open to other suggestions on where to meet. No response yet. Looks like it may not happen after all. Sounds like this guy is juggling more than just you. Still trying to see if he can fit you in. Next.
Miss Spider Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I've never met someone without them giving me their phone number, but I've read it here that it does happen. It's just not common. They exchange contact info if the meeting goes well.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I've never met someone without them giving me their phone number, but I've read it here that it does happen. It's just not common. They exchange contact info if the meeting goes well. I agree, but the OP was asking whether people spoke over the phone before meeting.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I never talk on the phone. It's extremely awkward and unless a guy insists I would much rather skip it. I met my current guy through an app without exchanging numbers. We exchanged them after the first meeting 1
grays Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I never talk on the phone. It's extremely awkward and unless a guy insists I would much rather skip it. I met my current guy through an app without exchanging numbers. We exchanged them after the first meeting Me, too. If everyone still had a landline I wouldn't mind so much, but on every cell phone Ive had, I've only been able to hear about 95%. After the 4th or 5th time I ask "what?" I start feeling like a moron and pretend I can hear... Bad enough for any conversation but IMO a terrible first meeting. Id rather eat buffalo wings on a first date. lol
CryForNoOne Posted November 5, 2017 Posted November 5, 2017 I guess if you're not used it at all, I get the aversion to talking on the phone. But if you're over 35 I don't get it. I grew up in the 80's and I used to talk to my junior high and high school GF on a landline literally hours at a time. We'd watch TV together and maybe not say a word for long stretches but it was virtual contact for hours and hours. It got so bad, my parents needed to add call waiting or they'd never get a call from anyone else. And that was VERY typical for all teenagers then. In 5 minutes on the phone, you can have a much more substantial conversation than nearly 100 text messages. Is it social anxiety with talking to strangers? But then how is that any different than when actually meeting???
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 5, 2017 Posted November 5, 2017 I'm in my late 40s and I tell you the younger generation and many of my own are terrible conversationalists over the phone. The convenience of texting, smartphones has made our society succumb to such short attention spans and less patience that many people simply would rather not talk over the phone. I also find that we are so busy, tired, occupied that having a meaningful conversation over phone simply is not a good option. Wait until the date. I have had lengthy conversations with ladies prior to meeting and some are fine, but too many have awkwardly too little to say. I often find myself do the majority of the talking and listening to giggling or occasional abrupt responses from the other end. They are much more open in person.
grays Posted November 5, 2017 Posted November 5, 2017 I guess if you're not used it at all, I get the aversion to talking on the phone. But if you're over 35 I don't get it. I grew up in the 80's and I used to talk to my junior high and high school GF on a landline literally hours at a time. We'd watch TV together and maybe not say a word for long stretches but it was virtual contact for hours and hours. It got so bad, my parents needed to add call waiting or they'd never get a call from anyone else. And that was VERY typical for all teenagers then. In 5 minutes on the phone, you can have a much more substantial conversation than nearly 100 text messages. Is it social anxiety with talking to strangers? But then how is that any different than when actually meeting??? I am well over 35 and as I said, I'd have no problem if we were talking on landlines, but cell phones just suck. Or is it just the cell phones I've had? I cant be the only one with this problem.
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